Page 30 of The Loneliest Number (The Thirst Trap #3)

Chapter twenty-six

Abby

A void him. That’s what I’m doing. After my chat with Cassidy, I realised how deep I’d gone, which was solidified as the week went on and I found myself missing Cam.

It’s now Friday, and I’ve not had any contact with him since Monday morning.

The text he sent me on Tuesday asking if I had any time went unanswered as did the follow up he sent me this morning. My gut twists with guilt.

Luckily, work has been keeping me busy after my couple of days off. One of our bar staff has been sick, and I pounced at the chance to take on extra shifts. I’m on my third day of opening up and working until closing but I have a problem…

Tom is standing at the customer side of the bar, hands on hips and a serious frown on his face.

“What?” I ask, waspishly. I can guess what he’s thinking, but if he has something to moan about, he can say it out loud.

“Why are you here? Every time I arrive and every time I leave, you’re here. How many hours have you done this week?”

I shrug. “Penny’s off sick. I didn’t mind moving things around to cover her shifts. It saves relying on anyone else to fill in.” I continue to polish the glasses, which I’ve been doing since I got here about half an hour ago.

“You don’t have to do it all, Abs. The other staff would happily take on some extra hours. And I don’t mind filling in.”

Another shrug. “Well, you don’t have to. I am happy to do it. My mum left.” The last part comes out without my planning to say it. I scrunch up my nose. Fuck it, maybe it will help him understand why I’ve worked every hour the pub has been open this week plus some extra. “I was at a loose end.”

“Because of your mum?” His brow quirks up at an angle, causing my cheeks to flush. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she’s gone to stay with a friend, but I weirdly miss her.

” Fuck, no I don’t, it’s someone else I’m missing.

I raise my gaze and my chin towards the ceiling.

“There might be some other stuff going on too.” I refuse to look him in the eye as I say it, but in my periphery, I spot him sitting on one of the bar stools.

“I’m here if you want to talk about anything,” he says in that annoyingly kind tone he has.

The one that seems to encourage me to spill my guts, even when that’s not the plan.

Why does he have to be a decent guy? Why can’t he just be some arsehole that doesn’t care how hard his staff work because it gives him more opportunity to skive off?

I grip the glass in my hand, wiping it with the cloth until it sparkles, but force myself to set it down gently on the shelf rather than ram it down hard.

I lift the next one in the row. I press my lips together, determined to keep my mouth shut even with these bullshit, empathetic silent vibes he’s giving me.

I scowl in his direction, and he’s looking at me with a thoughtful expression on his face.

He opens his mouth to say something else, but we are both distracted when the front door opens.

“We’re not quite open yet,” Tom calls out.

Cam saunters in, wearing his slutty, dusty workman trousers with all the pockets and the padded knees along with a tight black t-shirt that has his biceps popping.

His thick, black hair looks perfect, despite the layer of dust on his clothes, and I eat up the delectable sight of him, squeezing my thighs together as I realise how much I’ve missed him.

“Sorry, Tom. Would it be okay if I had a quick word with Abby?” he asks with a polite smile.

“Of course,” Tom says, but he makes no move to leave us to it. He pulls his phone out from his pocket and starts scrolling. My jaw drops in astonishment. What the fuck is he doing? Why doesn’t he leave?

Cam clears his throat, having stepped up to the bar a bit further along. “Avoiding me, Abby?” I peel my gaze away from Tom to where he stands, a look of challenge on his face.

I draw in a breath, annoyance making my chest tight. What is it with men today? Usually, when I find myself asking that question, I check my period tracking app. But I don’t think I need to today. These two are clearly here to fuck with me.

I strut down the bar to face Cameron. I stare into his piercing chestnut eyes and try to work out how to answer that question.

“Is your phone working?” He changes tack, the look of challenge changing to one of concern.

“Yes.”

“Did you get my messages?”

“Yes.”

“Cat got your tongue? You’re usually more loquacious than this.” Damn him and his fancy-arse words in that hot accent that’s causing the butterflies to dance in my stomach.

“I’m busy, Cam. Maybe we can catch up later.”

He heaves a sigh and looks down towards Tom. “Is it okay if I borrow her for ten minutes?”

My eyes plead with Tom to say no. I even chance a slight shake of my head. His eyes meet mine and there’s a sparkle in them I can’t figure out.

“Yeah, use my office if you want.” He gestures in the direction of his tiny cupboard of an office.

My gaze turns murderous, and I hope he can sense every single evil thing I’m thinking about doing to him right now.

“Abby, please, can we talk?” Cam asks. He doesn’t sound cocky or arrogant. He sounds genuine and dammit, that tugs somewhere in my chest. I give a nod.

“Sure.” As I stalk past Tom, I mutter under my breath, “traitor,” and his chuckle follows behind me as I meet Cam at the end of the bar and show him to Tom’s office.

It’s a tight squeeze. Cam is not a small guy, and this office wasn’t built for meetings.

I gesture to Tom’s chair and step back so he can work his way around the desk to sit there.

I close the door firmly, trying to send the signal to Tom that I’m pissed he put me in this situation, and lift one of the stacked chairs from the corner to pull up on the opposite side of the desk.

“Are you okay? Is everything all right with your mum?” Cam asks, leaning across the table with concern blazing in his eyes.

“I’m fine. Mum’s gone. We’re short-staffed, so I’ve been picking up extra shifts. Rushed off my feet.” I clamp my lips together. I’m babbling and annoying myself by doing so.

“And you’re okay after last weekend?” His voice is soft and husky, just like it was when we were curled up together—just the two of us in that massive hotel bed, post fucking.

“I’m fine, Cam. Just busy.” I stare at the pile of paperwork on the desk, avoiding his knowing gaze at all costs.

“When can I see you?”

I look at my watch. “You’ve still got five minutes of the time you requested from Tom.” I let the annoyance tinge my voice.

“Surely it’s more like eight minutes?” His smirk is teasing, but I refuse to give in to it. “You’re pissed I asked him instead of you?”

“Yes,” I exclaim, meeting his gaze finally. It’s easier to meet him head on when I’m annoyed.

“But if I’d asked you, you would have said no and used work as an excuse.” He’s not taking any prisoners with the frown drawing his brows together. “Wouldn’t you?”

I shrug. “Probably.”

“I was worried when you didn’t reply to either of my texts. Just wanted to check you were okay, and I thought you’d prefer we do that in private.” Warmth radiates in my chest at the thought of having someone worry about me. I’m glad it’s him.

“I’m fine.” I try to offer a reassuring smile. His cynical expression indicates I might be failing with my attempt.

“We didn’t really get round to properly talking about us, after what Saff said. I thought we were okay when you came back to the hotel with me, but now I wonder if you’re avoiding me.”

How the hell do I even begin to answer him when I don’t even know myself what the fuck I’m playing at here?

“I…” I draw in a deep breath. Cam’s brows are pinching together with two fierce lines between them.

“I think I need some space. I don’t really know what’s going on between us.

And I’m not looking for anything serious.

” My throat prickles with dryness. I wish I had a glass of water.

It would also give me something to do with my hands.

“What do you want?” he asks, his tone curious.

“I just want to have fun. I don’t want to be in a serious relationship. That’s not who I am.”

“We have fun together, don’t we? Why can’t that continue?”

“Because I think it’s leading to more. I don’t want more.

” I stare down at the floor, feeling cowardly for not looking him straight in the eyes.

That alone tells me I’m in too deep with him.

I would usually have no compunction in laying my boundaries down.

But there’s a part inside me that wants to please him–that doesn’t want to hurt or disappoint him.

“What’s wrong with more, Pixie?” His use of the nickname softens the question, and I have to dig down to find the courage to look at him this time.

“Usually nothing, for most people, Cam. But it’s not for me. I’m far better off by myself. It’s always been this way, and I don’t need anything else.”

“I don’t want to pressure you. But I don’t want to lose you either. You’re…” it’s his turn to hesitate, “… you’re special to me.”

“I think we should both take a breather.” I’m proud of the calmness in my tone. He heaves a weighty sigh and is quiet for a moment.

“I think you’re running scared.” He leans across the desk, staring me down with a glint in his eye. “And I can’t decide if it’s best to back off and give you your space or push you.” It’s like he’s thinking aloud, mulling over his options. Do I want him to push?

“Do you still want to go to Skye?” His change of topic confuses me, but I go with it because it’s easier than talking about feelings.

“Yes, I want to visit, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea for us to do that together.”

“I need to head up next week for a meeting in Glasgow and another on Skye. You are more than welcome to come. We could go as friends. It doesn’t have to be anything more serious than that.”

My first instinct is to refuse, even though I’m eager to visit. My desire to see him in that environment makes me even more certain the only answer can be no.

“I think it’s time I spoke to my great aunt and see if I can get some answers about The Juniper and the letter. The date on the letter is really bugging me.” There’s a scratchy sound as he rubs his hand against his beard, concern marring his face.

I want to reach my hand across and hold his on the desk, to give him a show of support in some way. I sit on it instead. And the other one too.

I turn the idea of going with him over in my mind, my usual decisiveness failing me.

Surely it’s better to avoid him completely, but perhaps a couple of days away as friends could be the definitive end to whatever this more thing is between us.

Maybe I could go with him to Skye, support him while he tries to solve this mystery, help him find his answers as just a friend.

It doesn’t have to mean more than that. And it will be a good opportunity to see if we can be friends.

“I’ll need to check with Tom and see if I can get cover for my shifts. When are you going?” I ask.

“I have a meeting in Glasgow on Wednesday morning, and I need to set up another on Skye. We could fly up Wednesday, first thing. Then drive to Skye after my meeting. Come back on Friday, as long as I can arrange a meeting with my great aunt.”

“Let me see if I can make it work with the bar. If so, I’ll come.” I offer him a tentative smile, and his answering one has my butterflies looping round in my belly. “If I can’t make it, you should still go and see your aunt,” I tell him.

“Aye, maybe. Let’s see if you can come and take it from there.” He gives a satisfied rap on the desk with his knuckles before standing up to his full height, towering above me.

“You’re filthy,” I tell him, spotting even more dust and dirt on him than when he first arrived.

“I thought that was how you liked me, Pixie.” He steps round the desk, shucking my chin with his fingertips. I gaze up at him, captivated by the look on his face, like he wants to spread me on Tom’s desk and devour me. “Tell me, if I stay filthy and avoid affection, would you keep playing with me?”

I want to say something snarky back. But my mind comes up blank. “I don’t know. Maybe.” It’s the best I can manage.

“I had to come from work to check you were okay. I’m glad you are, but I don’t appreciate being ignored.

” He presses his lips together and steps back, closer to the door.

His tone changing from teasing to stern makes my pulse quicken.

“Text me when you’ve cleared it with the boss. Then I’ll get the flights booked.”

I nod. I can use some of the cash I have stashed at home to pay him back.

“I’d tell you to be good, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen, is it?” he says with resignation as he opens the door. I stay sat for a moment, trying to get my head around what’s happened. How did I go from avoiding him to pretty much agreeing to going away with him? What am I doing?

I hear the murmur of conversation between Tom and Cam, but can’t make out what they’re saying, and when I head back to the bar, Cam’s slipping back out the door.

“All sorted?” Tom asks from his position behind the bar, polishing the glasses just as I was before Cam arrived.

I stare at him, my eyes narrowed. “What’s your game, Tom?”

He shrugs, but the twinkle in his eyes gives him away. “No game, Abs. Just got the feeling you two had some stuff to sort out.”

I huff but refuse to answer him. And make a mental note to have a word with Cassidy and see what she’s been telling him about my sex life.