Page 18 of The Locksmith’s Promise (The Promise Duet #1)

Forward

B axter

Maggie wanted to keep us a secret from Corwin, and I understood her reasoning, but I was chomping at the bit to officially claim my little family. Two weeks of spending time together and stealing kisses on the back porch like teenagers had me taking myself in hand more than once.

After nearly a decade of celibacy, this was by no means unusual. However, for the first time in forever, there was a woman I wanted desperately.

And my hand simply wasn’t cutting it.

But I would be patient. If someone had told me six months ago that Maggie would be laughing and tilting her chin up for my kiss, I would have laughed in their face.

And here we were.

I grinned down at her. “Your nose is cold.”

“Nose, hands, butt,” she countered. “It’s too cold for this. We’re not teenagers anymore.”

“Are you ready to tell Corwin?”

Her smile faded, a hint of worry shadowing her eyes. “I think so.”

My chest expanded as I inhaled. “Does that mean you trust me not to hurt you guys?”

She laid her palm on my cheek. “I do.”

For half a second, I froze, the enormity of her admission hitting me in the solar plexus, then I wrapped both my arms around her and tucked her into my chest.

“I won’t let you down, Maggie. I swear to God, I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t,” she mumbled against my chest, her hands slipping under my coat and my flannel.

“Shit, Maggie,” I hissed. “Your hands are fucking ice cubes.”

She laughed, digging them harder into my sides. “You want to take this inside?”

I smiled down at her as she released me and opened her front door, calling, “Cor? Dad’s here.”

Dad’s here.

That word rocked me every time I heard it. There would never come a time I’d accept it as commonplace.

It was a miracle.

A gift.

A sweet dream from the past, one I’d given up in my darkest days.

Along with the dreams, returning to Moose Lake after all this time forced me to confront the nightmares.

While I hadn’t been back to my childhood home since that first time, it preyed on my mind every time I passed the long driveway curving into the brush.

Painful memories, things I hadn’t thought about in forever, cropped up like weeds and tripped me up all over town.

Fortunately, the town was ripe with markers from Maggie’s and my past as well. I turned to those, pounding down the fury that periodically rose without warning, and focussed on the future.

The collision of the past and present made moving on harder than I expected.

While I thought I’d made peace with what happened with Jenny, the shame of it clung to me like oil slick on water.

To keep it from touching Maggie and Corwin, I had to shake it off. But I didn’t know how.

As for the house, letting it rot was a fitting testament to the father that was most assuredly rotting in hell.

I followed Maggie inside and closed the door behind me before toeing off my shoes.

“I know you guys are dating,” Corwin accused.

My head shot up, my eyes meeting his dancing ones.

I barked out a laugh. “Oh, yeah? How do you figure?”

He stood at the entrance to the family room with his legs braced and his arms crossed over his skinny chest.

A chest that seemed as fragile as that of a baby bird.

I’d been that small once.

A fierce protectiveness flared to life within me.

He offered a smug smile. “Mikey told me him and his dad saw you two smooching.”

Maggie smacked a hand over her face, her cheeks growing rosy.

I grinned at her and shrugged. “Small towns.”

She rolled her eyes as she peeled off her socks. With a smile, I noted her blue tipped toes.

Like the dedicated mother she was, she turned her attention to our son. “How do you feel about that?”

“Is it for real?” He pressed his lips together and eyed both of us.

“What do you mean?” she asked cautiously.

“Is it for real?” he repeated impatiently. “Forever. Like we’re going to be a family.”

“Uh…” Maggie stared back at him, her jaw agape.

“That’s my intention,” I answered. “That’s what I want and what I’m working toward.”

He narrowed his gaze on Maggie. “And you, Mom?”

She snapped her mouth shut and nodded. “That’s the plan.”

His eyes took on a faraway look as he tilted his head to the side. “So, we’ll be like Mikey’s family. A mom and a dad and a—”

His mouth dropped open as his eyebrows crashing together over his horrified eyes. “You guys aren’t going to be making babies, are you?”

Maggie sputtered while I out and out laughed.

It burst from me like a geyser. I tossed my head back, my palm on my gut, as it rumbled out of me.

Maggie gaped at me like a fish.

I grinned at her and replied, “That’s up to your mom. If she wants another baby, I’m happy to give her one.”

He frowned, then mused, “It might not be so bad.”

Maggie held up her hands. “Hold on now, both of you. We’re dating. Getting to know one another again. And we’ll be a family no matter what happens between Baxter and me. Don’t go planning on siblings just yet.” She gulped. “If at all.”

My chest hollowed out, but I clung to my smile for Maggie’s sake.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’d entertained the idea of another baby, one whose diapers I would change, one I would get to rock to sleep, one whose first steps I would witness in real time.

The loss of Corwin’s babyhood hit me anew, a knife twisting in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

And that fury, the one I fought to contain, bubbled up in my throat and stung the back of my tongue.

“Bax?” Maggie’s eyebrows met over eyes soft with concern.

I gave my head a small shake and smiled. “Mags?”

“What happened there?”

A quick glance showed Corwin seated at the table with his homework.

“Baxter? What’s wrong?”

My voice gruff, I explained, “Sometimes the past sneaks up on me.”

“You looked angry,” she prodded.

“I am,” I stated. “But not at you. Never with you.”

“Do you want another baby?” she ventured.

Did I?

“I don’t know if I want another child or if I’m grieving missing Corwin’s babyhood,” I hedged.

But she deserved complete honesty. “Yes,” I amended.

She moved in close and whispered vehemently. “I wish with everything in me that things had been different. I wish I had tried harder, that your dad didn’t interfere, that my parents had told me what they knew of your story. And I wish there was some way I could make it up to you.”

I wrapped my arms around her. “Maggie,” I whispered. “We just need to focus on the future and let the past go. There’s nothing good to be found in looking back.”

Head tilting to the side, she eyed me with a sad but tender smile on her face. “Do you want to have a movie night? On the weekend?”

I took the change of subject in stride. So long as we were moving forward, I was happy. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll get my parents to take Corwin. You come here, okay?”

I tightened my hold on her and wagged my eyebrows. “I’d like that, too.”

She laughed softly, her face tipped up to mine.

“Ew,” Corwin groaned. “Just, ew.”

No matter what he said, the joy on his freckled face shouted louder.

And Maggie’s laugh underlined everything.

A few days later, Maggie linked her fingers through mine and led me to her couch where she stopped and faced me.

“Okay,” she began, pushing me back on the couch and settling in beside me. “If at any time it becomes too much, I’ll turn it off.”

“Okay…” I trailed off, uncertain where she was heading.

Lifting the TV controller, she pressed play.

Flailing fists, tiny feet, and a red, screwed-up face filled the screen.

I gasped, falling forward off the couch onto my knees, reaching for the screen as if I could touch him. “Is that Corwin?”

Voice thick, she replied, “At the hospital, just a few hours old.”

“He’s beautiful,” I gulped.

The camera panned across to Maggie reclining in her hospital bed, dark circles under her eyes, the merest hint of a curve to her lips.

“You look tired,” I murmured.

She laughed lightly. “Well, it was hard work.”

Maggie rose from the bed and swaddled him, then her parents took turns manning the camera and holding Corwin.

The TV went black.

A soft sound of protest escaped my throat before the tv lit up again, this time in what I suspected was Maggie’s apartment.

Again and again the TV went black only to burst into colour and light with another vignette from the past.

My eyes stung; I’d barely blinked. I didn’t want to miss a single second of Corwin growing up on the screen in front of me.

I watched in wonder as he army-crawled across the floor before pushing up to his knees to rock back and forth.

I laughed as he crawled across the floor faster than I believed possible.

Stared, dumbstruck, at his gummy grin.

And the evidence of his first tooth.

First cinnamon roll.

First steps.

I recognized the pictures in the album I pored over every night, but there was so much more that was new.

Corwin playing soccer at three years old, dancing in the middle of the field and picking dandelions while the other kids chased the ball like a pack of bees.

Looking so small standing on the front step of his school, a tiny knapsack strapped to his back.

At some point, I’d pushed myself back up onto the couch. Blindly, I reached for Maggie’s hand and hung on as Corwin grew before my eyes.

The videos became more sporadic, spaced out further than they’d been in the first year, but they hit all the first milestones.

When the screen went black for the last time, I hazarded a glance at Maggie.

She stared back at me, her eyes stark with pain.

Without a second thought, I reached for her and took her into my arms. “It’s okay, Maggie. It’s going to be okay.”

“I—” she began then swallowed hard. “I wanted you so badly, wanted you to witness everything with me. I didn’t think you wanted me. Or him.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t pick up the phone. I was scared I was turning into him . I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She palmed the tears off her face and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I understand. I do. I just wish you’d been there with me. With us.”

“Me too,” I murmured. “More than anything. But there’s no point in punishing ourselves further. Thank you for showing me these. Thank you for watching them with me.”

She nodded and nestled into my chest.

Watching those videos made one thing clear. I wasn’t eager to waste any more time. “Are you ready to move forward?”