Page 15

Chapter Fifteen

Francesca

I – don’t believe this. I must be hallucinating. Or dreaming?

Is this some nasty plan cooked up between the two of them while I was gone, some way to humiliate me?

No, I don’t think it is; Gemma looked too aghast when I admitted to everything, and is absolutely beside herself now. I don’t think anybody could fake that sort of laughter. People are looking over, staring, the uninhibited sound carrying above all the general commotion.

As for Leon, the hostility he displayed earlier has vanished and he leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. ‘To hell with it,’ he says. ‘Rather you than Kayleigh. You’re welcome to the bastard.’

I have to be dreaming.

This has to be a trick.

I overheard what they said about Marcus mocking me … That can’t be true. If anything, they’re the ones mocking me.

But Leon’s blank expression, the way he slouches in his seat as if to say he really couldn’t care less, the bite in his voice that’s not directed at me, but at Marcus – it rubs me the wrong way.

Maybe it’s because I was so ready for a fight, or maybe because he kept getting my hackles up earlier, but I scowl at him again now.

‘Don’t talk about him like that. This isn’t his fault.

It’s – it’s nobody’s fault, it’s just … What we have, it’s real, it’s special, and I just don’t think it’s right that he should get married to somebody else when I know he has feelings for me, and I feel the same way about him.

It’s not just us I’m thinking about, it’s Kayleigh, too.

Isn’t it punishing her, if we let her marry someone who isn’t in it one hundred per cent?

It’s not as if Marcus has been cheating, like we’ve been carrying out some sordid affair behind her back—’

‘It’s an emotional affair,’ Leon tells me bluntly.

It’s—

Wait, is that what it is? Is that what we’ve been doing? All the things we don’t quite say in our texts, all the sidelong looks and secret smiles, the hugs that we let go of the split-second before they become more than a quick greeting or goodbye?

Oh, God. It is, isn’t it?

I’ve been having an affair with an almost-married man.

I kept telling myself we were treading that line, but …

Just because we haven’t kissed in that time, does that make this any less wrong?

Isn’t that exactly why I can’t tell my friends or my family the entire truth about him, why I feel such guilt whenever they ask me about him?

Didn’t I know, deep down, how wrong we were to carry on like this?

This is what I’ve been avoiding admitting to myself every time I back myself into a corner with too many little white lies.

When Marcus and I spent the night together, obviously I told the gang from uni everything.

They sent me Ben I’d still be in wilful, blissful ignorance.

‘I guess I just thought I’d … try to catch him for a quiet moment tonight, and I’d tell him how I felt. And then … Then …’

‘Then he’d run off with you, instead of marrying my sister.’ Leon nods, though, not really expecting a response. He takes a swig of his sugary tea. ‘Well, good luck to you. Like I said – you’re welcome to him. She’s better off without him.’

‘W-what?’

‘She’s better off without him,’ he reiterates. ‘And none of us will be too sorry to see him go. Nobody in our family was exactly thrilled they got engaged in the first place, so good riddance to the both of you.’

I gawp, but Gemma has got a hold of herself just enough now to claw at Leon with one hand. ‘Wait-wait-wait.’ She takes another second to gather herself, and says, ‘Are you serious? Like, genuinely, nobody likes him? Are you kidding me right now?’

‘Why?’ I blurt. ‘Why don’t any of you like him?’

Objectively, it’s wonderful news that Kayleigh’s family don’t approve of Marcus, and as much as they might hate him for leaving her for another woman – for me , I’m the other woman, oh, God, how is the reality of this only just sinking in now?

– they already disliked him, so that’ll soften the blow.

Maybe he’ll even be relieved not to marry into such a hostile family.

Because really, if they’re anything like I’ve found Kayleigh and Leon to be, he can’t be excited about becoming part of such a family?

He probably feels obligated, knows he’s too far in to back out now.

And at least with Kayleigh, he has a relationship he’s sure of, while he doesn’t believe we could be anything more than friends.

That doesn’t stop me wanting to jump to his defence, though.

Leon scoffs, and there is a bitterness in the twist of his mouth as it draws into a smirk that sets my temper on edge again.

‘Where do I even start?’ he says, and then reaches into the front of his bag and throws something onto the table.

It’s a notebook. The green leather-bound one I saw him writing in on the plane and then studying earlier, when I asked if he was working on his speech.

It lands, open, and though Gemma and I both lean in and angle our heads to try to decrypt his scrawling writing, he’s already talking again.

‘He’s pretentious, self-centred, rude, arrogant …

He always thinks he’s the smartest person in the room, thinks his money makes him better than everybody else, acts like everybody is beneath him and he’s doing you a favour just by being there at all.

And he’s hardly ever there , for the record.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve met the guy in the time they’ve been together.

We used to see Kayleigh regularly, or she’d at least FaceTime to check in – but now he’s on the scene, we hardly even get that much from her.

And when they do visit, it’s like they can’t wait to get away again – like he can’t wait to get away. ’

‘Well, I’m not surprised, if you’re all so horrible to him,’ I mutter, and Leon cuts me a look, his eyes narrowing. The hostility returns full-force in that moment; I can practically feel it prickling across my skin, and this time I stare him down.

He snarls, ‘We have been nothing but nice to him—’

‘Oh, clearly. Just like you’ve been nothing but nice to me— ’

‘That’s different.’

‘I’m sure.’ My voice is dripping with contempt; I’ve never heard myself like this before. It must get under his skin because Leon shifts in his seat, and all I can think is, Good .

‘Even when he showed up unannounced the first Christmas they were together and we’d never met him before, we did our best to make him feel welcome, went out of our way to help him feel at home—’ He breaks off to narrow his eyes at me as if daring me to challenge him, when I obviously can’t; I wasn’t there, I don’t know.

‘But we all can tell, it’s not good enough, nothing is ever up to his standards.

Or Kayleigh’s, now, which is all to do with his influence. ’

Gemma snorts. ‘Damn, say it with your whole chest, Leon.’

He doesn’t even seem to notice her comment, barrelling on regardless.

‘He’s constantly talking over people, interrupting, doesn’t even do you the courtesy of listening politely and making small talk or pretending to be the slightest bit interested in what’s going on with his fiancée’s family.

Always criticising, offering ‘advice’ nobody’s asked for, while never lifting a finger to do anything himself, of course.

When he does deign to come and see us, I’ve never heard him so much as offer to help carry plates from the dinner table.

And Kayleigh’s followed his lead, of course, started acting like she’s above helping out in her own home.

Our dad’s sick, he uses a cane these days, but they’ll let him wait on them hand and foot before they even think about pitching in to help. ’

I don’t point out that it’s not her home, it’s her parents’ – because I have to agree with Leon’s disdainful tone, that it’s the very least she could be doing.

She’s not really a guest when she grew up there.

And if her dad really is unwell like that …

Gosh, I can’t even imagine. I can’t fathom acting that way if it were my parents.

Instead, I say, ‘What makes you think it’s not him taking the lead from Kayleigh?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Well, if you think he’s such a terrible influence on her – what if you’re wrong, and she’s the bad influence on him, and that’s why you think all those things of him? Alright, so he’s a little bit opinionated—’