Page 15 of The Last Person (Baker Girls #5)

CHAPTER TWELVE

brIAN

Relaxing at McGills after a long day is one of my favorite things—outside of being at home, that is.

It’s a little bar that looks like a dive from the outside, but is nice and homey on the inside.

Hallie and Kennedy brought us here not long after we met them, and it’s been our go-to place ever since. It’s where we met Justin for the first time, and where Hallie met Wilson despite him living upstate.

There’s a thread of magic running through it. Which must be why I’m staring at the bar like my soulmate is going to appear out of thin air.

That moment in the bathroom with Hardy last week has had me twisted up in a whole new way.

I can’t keep going the way things have been.

When I imagined living with him, I knew it might be a little harder for me to deal with my feelings, but I didn’t expect my very literal hardness to be on display while staring at his hard-on.

It was too much. Especially with how he ran out of there.

It was probably horrifying for him. He said he was about to get in the shower, but I’m not stupid.

He was getting ready for some time with his hand—or however he gets off.

Then he had to come in and save me because I was screaming, and witness my hard dick, which is not typically a turn-on for a straight guy.

Then I stared at it and probably made him super uncomfortable. He almost tripped over his own feet running away.

He hasn’t been weird around me since, but he’s been different. Quieter. Watching me a little more. Probably wondering if living with me is still worth it if he’s going to have to deal with moments like that. Or maybe he’s wondering if I have feelings for him.

That would be the worst outcome. Because he’d try to make it okay—either by leaning into our closeness or pushing me away, and each of those things would kill me but for different reasons.

I can’t deal with that.

“Are you ever going to tell him how you feel?”

I snap my head up to look at Justin’s wife, Jade. She’s a romance author, but does that mean she can read minds?

She slides back into the semicircle booth, across the table from me.

She and Justin came down from upstate for a few days because Justin has a modeling job here in the city.

Justin and Hardy are laughing about something over at the bar, and Jade leans in closer.

“Do you want to tell him?” she asks, since I never answered her first question.

I pick at the label on my beer as I stare at her.

“No.” I clear my throat and sigh. “In a perfect world, yes. But the world isn’t perfect.

It’s convoluted and chaotic, and it almost never works out the way we want it to.

People like stories with happy endings because we don’t often get them in real life.

Telling him means risking our entire friendship on a delusional fantasy. I’m not willing to do that.”

She stares at me for a long moment, then takes a sip of her drink.

“I get it.”

“You do?” That surprises me because back before Kennedy and Devon’s wedding, when we all talked about our fears, she and Justin made it clear that taking a chance on love was worth it. Granted, it was an entirely different scenario, but still.

“Sure. You’re right. I create happy endings for all my characters that they might not get in real life. Real life comes with a lot more risks. I understand not wanting to gamble on them, especially with your friendship.”

I nod solemnly because that advice feels like the final nail in the coffin that I should never tell him. If even the romance author thinks there’s no hope of it working, I’m pretty much screwed. Not that I wasn’t already.

It’s too bad my plants love the apartment so much because at this point, we’re probably going to have to move.

Jade slides around the booth, so she’s closer to me. “So, what do you want then?”

“To move on. Find someone who it’s appropriate to have these feelings for.”

Her lips twitch, and she drums her fingers on the table. “Have you considered online dating?”

I instantly grimace at that. I loathe the idea.

“Look, it gets a bad rap, but you can meet decent people. You don’t have to include anything about your career or anything to start. Just be you. You’re kind, thoughtful, and not the type to send unwarranted dick pics.”

I laugh at that, and she smiles.

“Online dating…”

She pulls out her phone and shows me a couple of newer dating apps that are all about making connections—which she says she knows about from doing research for her books.

“I have a feeling there are plenty of men and women out there who would easily fall for you.”

I haven’t known Jade for that long, but she’s got a good heart. Which shouldn’t be surprising because Justin obviously does too. They’re a perfect match.

I want to find mine.

My eyes betray me and drift toward Hardy, but I quickly pull them away.

I have to get over this infatuation.

Looking back at Jade, I unlock my phone and slide it toward her. “Will you help me?”

Her smile is bright as she takes my phone. “I’d love to.”