Page 84 of The Last One Standing (Rogue X Ara #4)

ROGUE

A ra and I searched through the mess in the hidden room, carefully scanning each book and loose paper.

Minutes ticked by. An hour.

When a shadow fell over the room, the sky darkening, I glanced at Ara. She hugged herself, her thumbs rubbing her arms, but it wasn’t until her eyes met mine that her breath hitched, and her emotion slammed into my heart.

Fear.

Stark and cold.

I dropped the books in my hand, sat in the chair, and pulled her into my lap. She sank into me, fidgeting with a stray string on her sleeve.

“What is it?” I whispered.

Rain pattered on the glass above as she took a deep breath and unleashed everything.

She recounted each memory that returned to her, though not in their entirety. I recognized the hesitation that flickered across her features when she omitted something, the brief pause in her story, the movement in her fingers resuming, but I didn’t push.

As much as I hated that Adonis had any part in our relationship, fate rendered his interference inconsequential. We were fated mates, and his awareness of that fact changed nothing.

Beyond that, we chose to love each other. Not even fate had a hand in that.

The choices that made Ara who she was were hers, and hers alone. He didn’t mold her into this incredible force of nature. In fact, I’d be willing to bet he wished she hadn’t grown into who she was—who she’d always been.

When she stood to perch on the edge of the desk, I stepped between her legs. She tilted her head to the side, giving me a tight smile while blinking back tears.

“Sure, those first few days might’ve been curated by him.” I tucked her hair behind her ear and slid my finger beneath her chin. “But what about the months that followed? The choices you made with a torn heart? You took a stand in Nautia. Did he tell you to do that?”

Her brows knitted together. “No.”

“Did he plant the idea in your head that Fae aren’t so bad after all?”

“No.” Her throat bobbed.

“Did he put a sword in your hand and walk you to the battlefield with fire in your heart? Did he order you to match the loyalty offered from the soldiers that followed you from Nautia?”

“No.”

My fingers splayed in her hair. “He wanted you to find me, but did he order you to love me, too?”

She shook her head, biting her bottom lip, but I tugged it free with my thumb and kissed her softly.

“He wanted you mated, and your magic freed. That was it. Not in love. Not happy. Not more powerful than anyone else in existence, including him, divine blood or not. He certainly didn’t order you to create a new family, one of loyalty instead of blood.

He didn’t force you to make a home here with me. ”

She leaned forward to seal her lips to mine, but I kept a hair’s breadth distance between us. “Everything you did—everything that mattered were choices you made. Don’t let him take that away from you.”

She grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down, her kiss desperate but not hungry. No, this was her soul reaching for mine, and Goddess knew I’d always answer her.

She cupped my cheeks with a few more quick pecks to my lips. “You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“That’s my girl,” I whispered with a grin.

“He may have brought us together by force, but we stayed together by choice. That night in Nautia, I chose you, and no one but you could’ve altered my entire existence like this.

Not him. Not the Goddess. Not fate. You.

That night, I chose to let you in, and you somehow ended up everywhere: my head, my soul, my heart.

Hell, each beat of my damned heart whispers your name, I’m sure of it.

Loving you was never a choice. That was inevitable.

But choosing you? Choosing us ? That was the best decision I ever made, and it was mine. ”

Her palm held my cheek like something precious, and warm sunlit honey poured over my heart—her love, I realized. I felt her love for me.

I sank to my knees.

She leaned over to kiss me again, but I pulled her off the desk and cupped the nape of her neck as she knelt between my legs. I slipped my tongue past her lips, needing to taste and feel and worship more of her.

Every moment that led to her was worth it. Every agonizing minute. I’d live it all again and again, in every lifetime, as long as it led to her.

“I love you,” I murmured, unwilling to part from her mouth. Though ‘I love you’ didn’t feel like enough anymore.

“I love you, too,” she whispered, and suddenly, coming from her, that phrase was perfect.

Ara had struck a match in my very dark world and shed light on what peace could feel like. I needed to return the favor, and I would fight tooth and nail until my dying breath to do just that.

The only other book Alden found any mention of the weapons in was the one Ara said she’d already read: The Blood and the Broken.

It contained the ritual that Adonis based his entire plan on. He devoted over twenty years to the ramblings of a man who, at the time, couldn’t tell the difference between the realm of the living and the realm of the dead.

“Desperate people do desperate things,” Ara sighed. “Desperate, foolish, idiotic, tragic things.”

Once we’d shuffled through everything Alden left out, we moved to his office, a few extra books and journals in hand. Ara wanted to visit him in some way, and this was the closest we could think of.

We’d been here a few hours now, and I found myself repeatedly returning to Severance’s entry in search of anything we missed.

The Southern Sea being the last known location was troubling at the least, a potential catastrophe at its worst.

For all we knew, it could be a rusted, rotted mess on the seafloor, and?—

Ara’s face snapped up, eyes wide and hair mussed. “The Southern Sea. The star maps.”

“Ewan’s book?” I tipped my head to the side. “He’s read that cover to cover. If Severance was mentioned, we’d know by now.”

“No.” She shot up and made for the door, grabbing her coffee as she went. “No, that’s not what I meant.”

I followed after her, too tired to bombard her with questions when she was on such a mission. She clearly picked up on something I hadn’t.

Ever the smart one of the two of us.

We entered Iaso’s chambers with hardly a knock. Iaso hovered over the book splayed before her, tonic vial in hand, herbs scattered over the table. Ewan sat close by, his feet propped on a stool and head lolled back, a book open on his chest like he’d dozed off reading.

“Yes?” Iaso asked.

Ewan snapped awake and blinked. “Hmm?”

Iaso patted his leg with a chuckle.

“Ewan, do you still have the star maps?” Ara asked.

“Yes,” he said, his voice groggy. He ran a hand down his face and scanned the area around him before patting his way to it on his chest. “Here. What are you looking for?”

She took it and flipped it around to study the cover. With a subtle grin, she lifted it for me to see, pointing at the small inscription in the bottom corner. “K.B.”

My eyes widened. “Killian Blackheart.”

“Kill… Killian Blackheart?” Ewan asked with a shake of his head. He walked to the basin of water in the corner and splashed his face. “I haven’t heard that name in ages.”

“Neither have I,” Calypso grunted.

I swiveled to her, pulling Ara to my side as Calypso braced a hand on her abdomen and staggered out of Iaso’s bedroom.

Healing pink splotches still marred her skin, but her hair had somehow miraculously returned to the length it was before.

Ara’s distrust rolled off her in waves, and I was overwhelmingly fucking grateful she hadn’t already forgiven her. My girl had a bad habit of forgiving people I thought should rot for their crimes.

“We think this is his book,” Ara said.

“It’d make sense with the initials on the bottom and the extensive notes about the Southern Sea,” Ewan said, “down to current mapping, trade routes, sirens, all of it.” He poured himself a cup of coffee and turned to lean back on the counter. “Well, all of it except what we actually need.”

“Did you know that, according to this, he was the last known owner of Severance?” I asked Calypso, lifting the weapons legend.

She finally made it to a chair and sat slowly, glaring at me. “No, I wasn’t hunting that weapon. Regardless, Captain Kill and I were not on friendly terms.”

“Shocking,” I deadpanned. “Iaso, do you have the contract?”

“Hmm?” She looked up from her work, a quill tucked into her curls. “Oh, yes.”

She shuffled through her papers until she pulled out the correct one and slid it onto the table near Calypso.

“She’ll answer any question you ask honestly and openly,” Iaso said, “and in exchange, you won’t?—”

“Torch me,” Calypso seethed.

My lip twitched. “Careful. I’d still prefer that.”

“Just give me the fucking quill,” she tried to snap, but it came out halfhearted and tired. Iaso plucked it from her hair, and Calypso signed her name at the bottom with a scowl. The ink shimmered before sinking into the parchment. “Your turn.”

I signed beneath her name, feeling Ara’s eyes on my back from where she sat on the couch. She’d wanted both of us to sign it, but there was no way in any hell I’d let her enter a deal with this wench.

A shimmer ran across my name, and I waited for something to happen. When nothing did, I looked to Calypso. Her eyes were closed, her jaw tight as she rolled her neck. She didn’t look happy, which had to be a good sign for us.

I asked, “Was that the only meeting you had with Adonis?”

Her eyes snapped open, glowing fluorescent. “Yes.”

Ara stood, clutching Killian’s book to her chest. “Was that the only time you laid eyes on Adonis since you’d abandoned him?”

“No,” Calypso replied. “No, I checked on him from a distance throughout the years. He was taken in by the white-haired twins when he was three or four. They were no longer around when I found him a few years later. He’d joined a larger group of children.

I stopped checking in after he turned thirteen when Drakyth found him. ”

Ara inched closer. “Why did you laugh when you told Adonis who my mate was?”