CHAPTER 23
U zoth stared down into the alley.
The door to the bakery flung open. Grady came out carrying crates. Grady fumbled with them, almost dropping them onto the cobblestones as he pressed his hand against the sigil and charged the protection charm.
Uzoth’s gaze narrowed.
Something is wrong.
Grady started walking in the direction of the Christmas markets. He stopped. “Fuck!” he barked. Then he turned and walked in the other direction, towards Ordelia’s.
Something is definitely wrong.
Unfurling his wings, Uzoth took flight and landed beside Grady.
Grady kept walking, and Uzoth fell into step.
“Are you all right?” Uzoth glanced at the crates. “Can I help you carry those?”
Grady gave a sharp shake of his head. “I keep forgetting things.” He panted, the air fogging in front of him. “I forgot I was meant to pick up Michael earlier and take him to the Christmas markets. I was going to let him be my assistant today. I promised him! He was so excited. You should have seen him, and then I fucking forgot! I just forgot.” A muscle below his eye twitched.
“And I was meant to put a protection charm on Lacy and her girlfriend’s apartment. I’d meant to do it a couple of days ago, and it just slipped my mind. Poof into nothing.” Grady gave a bitter laugh. “And then some stranger wandered into their apartment last night.”
“Are they all right?” Uzoth asked.
“It was just a drunk neighbour. But what if it had been an attacker? What if they had hurt Lacy?” Grady asked, voice strained. “I keep forgetting things. I’m fucking up all over the place.” His voice trembled.
“I’m sorry,” Uzoth said. “If there is any way I can assist to relieve some of the pressures?—”
Grady shook his head again. “I just need to think straight. To process and get my shit together. I just need time to breathe. But how can I? There’s always something.” His throat tightened.
“And now I’ve got you in my life. I’m trying to find time to be with you. I’m always distracted thinking of you. It’s making me forget my other responsibilities.”
It felt like a blow to the face. Uzoth stopped walking. “I am sorry, Grady. I do not wish to make your life more difficult.”
Grady paused and turned back. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He closed his eyes. “It’s just that I can’t get anything right at the moment. I’ve always been so busy, and now with you in my life, I’m even busier.”
Pain lanced through Uzoth’s chest. He wanted to make Grady’s life better. Not worse.
Grady’s presence had upended Uzoth’s life. Grady had brought joy, happiness, and warmth. Uzoth wanted his presence in Grady’s life to have the same effect.
He did not want to make Grady’s life harder than it was. But of course, he had. Grady was busy. And now Grady had to try to find time he did not have for Uzoth.
“I just need time to think and work it out. But when?” Grady groaned and opened his eyes.
“I do not wish to distract you.” Uzoth swallowed around the burning pain in his throat. “I do not wish to make doing your duty to your family more difficult.”
“I know. And I like being with you.” Grady’s shoulders sagged. “But it all just feels like too much.”
Uzoth’s heart stuttered in his chest. For several seconds, he held completely still. Then he drew his shoulders back. “I will not be a burden to you, Grady. I never wanted that.” He’d only wanted to protect, care for, and assist Grady.
It stung that he’d failed.
“You care for your family. You are responsible for them. You must put them first before all else.” Including Uzoth. He paused, drawing on all the strength he had within himself.
He would not hurt Grady. Nor hinder him in any way. He could not. He would not do that to the man he loved.
“I will of course continue to watch over you and your family. But I will keep my distance so as not to burden you with my presence.” Then Uzoth stretched his wings and took flight.
“What? You’re not—” Grady said.
But Uzoth flew straight up. The winds tore at his body whilst the pain ripped at his soul. He flew higher and higher, through clouds and into the sky, the air growing colder and colder.
I will not be the cause of any pain in Grady’s life.
He circled in the air. After several moments, he turned and flew down. He landed on the rooftop over the bakery.
Surprisingly. Grady hadn’t moved. He stared for several long moments up at Uzoth.
Uzoth stared back, still as stone as his insides crumbled to dust.
Finally, Grady turned and walked away.