CHAPTER 10
G rady couldn’t draw breath. He couldn’t move. He felt held in place. All he could think of was kissing the gargoyle. Grady’s heart hammered in his chest.
“You are exhausted and perhaps hungry. And it is cold in here.” Uzoth rose.
Grady dropped his hand.
“I will light a fire.” Uzoth moved to the fireplace.
For a second, Grady considered going back to the Christmas markets. But they’d be almost closed by the time he got there. Normally, that would not stop him, but Grady wanted to stay with Uzoth.
Grady watched the gargoyle. He’d wanted to kiss Uzoth. He’d not wanted to kiss anyone in a long time. Recently, he’d spent all his time and energy watching his siblings. He’d fucked a few people in the years after his parents died when the opportunity arose. But over time, he’d felt his libido and any attraction he’d felt to others go into a deep hibernation.
Did he want Uzoth now? He stared at Uzoth’s features in profile. He knew Uzoth thought himself to be terrifying and monstrous. But Grady didn’t think he was. He liked his chiselled features and horns. Even his fangs intrigued Grady. And his wings and tail—he felt a definite curiosity to touch them.
He’d touched Uzoth’s skin a few times. It felt much tougher than human skin. What would Uzoth’s hands feel like stroking Grady’s body?
A burning log rolled off to the side of the fire. Uzoth reached his hand straight through to grab it.
“Uzoth!” Grady sat bolt upright.
Uzoth placed the log directly back on top of the fire. Then he held his hand, palm down, directly in the flames. He turned and looked at Grady. He smiled. “It does not hurt me. Do not worry.”
Laughing with relief, Grady leaned back in the chair. “Don’t scare me like that!”
“I will try not to,” Uzoth said, voice serious. He set about making tea in the cauldron. Then he grabbed a plate and filled it with pastries, tarts, and cookies and brought it over along with two cups. He strained the tea and placed both cups on the table.
Grady remembered the first night when Uzoth had brought him the bag of salt, flour, ash, and herbs to eat. It seemed like he’d been watching Grady the past few nights and learning some basic human hosting skills. Grady smiled as he picked up his tea and inhaled.
Uzoth sat and drank in silence.
“Briar went missing when he was fourteen,” Grady confessed.
Uzoth turned towards him. He didn’t speak. He just waited for Grady to continue. That was something else Grady appreciated about Uzoth. Grady never felt rushed. Uzoth just gave him all the time he needed to find the words he wanted to speak.
“I’ve tried to be a good older brother. But so often I feel like I’m failing them.” Grady swallowed. “You know our parents died, right?”
“I did not,” Uzoth said. “I wondered, as I know they are not present.”
“It would have been about thirteen years ago. Before I started seeing you around. When they died, Jack, Ordelia, Cas, and I were the eldest.” Grady let out a breath. “I was seventeen. Jack fifteen. Ordelia thirteen. Cas, we don’t actually know his age, since he was adopted, but we always guessed he and Ordelia were a similar age. Shit, we were so young.
“Anyway, I kind of became the head of the family.” Grady paused. “I was the one who had to tell everyone our parents died.” His throat tightened at the memory. Their parents’ blood had still stained his hands and clothes as he’d told his siblings in this very room.
And in that moment, he’d become responsible for all of them.
Grady stared into the fire. “Anyone who could worked in the bakery. But it struggled after my parents died. So Jack and I took on extra jobs to make more money. Ordelia and Cas raised the younger kids. Trent, the youngest, was five. Fuck, I don’t know how we managed.”
The flames flickered and danced before him. Grady leaned towards them. The heat licked his skin. He remembered working in the bakery the whole day before heading to work overnight in a cotton mill.
“I barely paid any attention to the younger kids, Briar included. I barely spoke to him the first couple of years after our parents died.” Grady rubbed his finger against the side of the cup. “I was just so consumed with trying to make enough money to keep the apartment and bakery and keep us together.”
Grady’s jaw clenched. “Then Briar went missing. He was fourteen. Apparently, he’d taken to walking in the forest a lot.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I’d had no fucking clue. He went missing for a full week. We couldn’t find him. He came back fine. Said he got lost.”
Grady shook his head. “But I felt like I’d let him down through my neglect. I felt like I’d let all my siblings down. And my parents.” His throat squeezed.
“Maybe if I’d been paying attention, I would have noticed something or been able to prevent it. I should have been looking out for him. That was my job.” Grady’s skin stung from the heat of the fire. “I should have done a better job looking out for my younger brother.” His hands trembled around the cup. “I should have done better.”
Suddenly, Uzoth was there, standing beside him. “You expect so much from yourself. Too much.” He took the cup from Grady and placed it down. Uzoth knelt beside him. “You are only human. Only skin and bone. You push so hard. You work so hard.”
Grady shook his head. “I?—”
“You barely sleep. You barely eat. You are not a gargoyle. You need both.” Uzoth’s hand pressed against Grady’s shoulder, a heavy, comforting pressure.
Grady let out a shaky breath.
“I watched you when I first came here. And I have watched you for years since.” Uzoth’s dark eyes remained steady on his.
Grady’s skin prickled at the thought of the gargoyle watching him all these years.
“I watched you care for your siblings. I did not know a human so young could protect as well as you did until I saw you do it.”
Grady placed his hand on top of Uzoth’s, squeezing. “I tried,” he said, voice hoarse.
“Your siblings were fed. You kept the bakery and the apartment. Your siblings are all well and all adults,” Uzoth said. “You succeeded in looking after them.”
Grady’s lungs constricted. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome, Grady.” Then, after several long moments, Uzoth dropped his hand. He then handed Grady back his tea and sat on the chair.
Uzoth picked up his own tea and took a sip. Grady gazed at Uzoth. Slowly, his breathing returned to normal. Grady let himself relax.
Uzoth didn’t prattle to fill the silences. When he did speak, it was because he wanted to convey something important. He had such a steady manner about him that it calmed Grady. And since his life usually felt so chaotic and exhausting, he found these snippets of time alone with Uzoth precious.
They were his moments. They didn’t belong to his siblings. His time with Uzoth was just for him. And how long had it been since he had something just for himself?
He and Uzoth were friends. That was what he’d said to Uzoth. Friends. For years, he’d only had his siblings as companions.
Grady sipped his tea.
It seemed it wasn’t just Uzoth who needed a friend.