Page 35

Julia

For one brief moment, Julia believed all the awful events from the day before were simply nightmares.

Perhaps Christian hadn’t downed half a bottle of whiskey and made his heartbreaking confession.

She peeked out the bedroom window. As the early morning light seeped into her eyes, clearing her thoughts and vision, she realized it was all true.

Christian was driving away. It must have been the sound of the engine that woke her.

She could see his taillights fading into the distance like a sad wave goodbye.

She’d asked him to leave and was still beyond livid, but Julia wasn’t prepared for the deep loneliness she would feel in the aftermath of his departure. Her stomach turned into a bottomless pit.

The anger was easier to sit with, so she held on to that.

She wasn’t sure what to say to Taylor, and she had no idea what the path forward looked like.

She recalled a favorite AA saying of Christian’s—one day at a time—but even that felt daunting.

She’d have to break it down further, into hours, perhaps minutes.

After her shower, which did nothing to wash away the negativity, Julia trudged across the dew-covered grass to Erika’s house. She picked up the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

“Where have you been, stranger?” Erika said. “Are you feeling better? Taylor said you were sick, so we didn’t bother you with all the news. Did you talk to her this morning?”

Julia had left a note for Taylor last night, letting her know she wasn’t feeling well and was going to bed early. It wasn’t a lie.

“No, Taylor was still sleeping when I left the house.”

“Well, you won’t believe what happened while you were out of commission. Lucas lost Izzy in the forest.”

“What?” Julia’s face widened with shock and surprise.

“Is she okay? She’s been found, right?” Her question came with a deep pang of guilt for having powered off her phone last night in an attempt to shut out the world.

But she had hardly slept a wink. Instead, she lay awake ruminating, fuming all through the night.

She heard Taylor come home from David’s, where she had been watching the twins. Christian stayed in the guest room, and Julia was glad he had kept his distance.

“Yes, Izzy’s fine, thank God. The Olsen woman down the road found her in the woods before it got dark and bandaged up her ankle.

I guess she sprained it pretty badly. Lucas was a wreck—he thought he had killed her.

I blame Rick for leaving them alone to chase down some animal.

What a dumbass. Sometimes he has his head so far up his butt, he could give himself a colonoscopy. ”

“Oh no! That’s awful. But I’m so relieved Izzy’s okay. What a nightmare.”

“Tell me about it,” said Erika.

“Is there any news on Fiona?” Not only was Julia out of touch, she was barely holding it together.

“No, no updates… it’s all so crazy, but… what’s going on with you?” Erika’s tone and expression shifted to one of concern. “Is everything all right? You look an absolute wreck. Are you still feeling sick?” She took Julia by the arm and guided her to a cushioned chair at the breakfast nook.

Julia noticed Erika’s laptop open on the counter and caught a flash of a legal brief she was editing. So much for her pledge to turn it off on vacation. But Christian was a stark reminder that old habits die hard.

Julia’s jealousy over her friend’s renovation work now seemed trivial to her. All she wanted was a sober and honest husband, and to keep the run-down lake house that felt like a beloved family member.

“Do you want coffee?” Erika was already pouring Julia a cup, as well as another for herself. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

There was no graceful way for Julia to bridge the gap between small talk and the deeper stuff. “Christian is drinking again,” she said morosely.

Erika set her mug down hard enough to splash coffee onto the countertop. Her eyes widened. “He’s what?”

“Yeah, I came back to the house yesterday after walking Nutmeg and found him totally sloshed at the kitchen table, pounding Maker’s Mark like it was Gatorade.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry,” Erika breathed. “Where is he now?”

Julia pushed through the profound tightness in her throat. “Gone. I told him to sleep it off in the guest room and leave when he sobered up. He was driving away when I woke up.”

Julia needed a hug, which Erika provided intuitively.

They might have kept a few secrets from each other, but this was what true friendship was all about.

You could stain their favorite sweatshirt, breeze in and out of each other’s lives, but when the shit hit the fan, they’d be right there with you.

Erika asked, “Do you know why he started up again?”

Julia’s tears threaten to fall. She willed herself to stay composed. She wasn’t ready to come unglued just yet.

“You know we’ve been having financial problems,” she began. “But even I didn’t know how bad it was. Christian applied for a loan that didn’t come through. He was counting on it. I guess the stress put him over the edge.”

For a moment, Julia feared being judged for letting things get out of control, but instead she read true compassion in Erika’s eyes.

Yet Julia couldn’t bring herself to reveal the biggest news of all: that she was in danger of losing the lake house.

She didn’t know how she’d tell her parents, either.

Even in her forties, she wanted to call her mother, cry on the phone, and lean on her for support.

But some shame was too much to put into words, and saying it aloud would make it all too real.

Erika took hold of Julia’s hand.

“I should have seen this coming. We’ve been under so much strain with the business.”

Julia caught herself. This was Christian’s fault, not hers.

She understood that life was full of risks.

Terrible things happened all the time: tree limbs fell on unsuspecting motorists, ocean currents dragged swimmers out to sea, and a bad oyster could ruin a vacation.

But when she said, “I do,” she didn’t expect her husband to turn into a walking tsunami.

Who did this man think he was? Fine if he wants to drive himself over the cliff, but he should at least stop the car and let his family out first.

“Do you need money?” asked Erika. “We’ve put a lot aside for college. We’re still hoping Lucas will use it, but Rick and I can help out a little.”

Julia squeezed her friend’s hand. “Oh my god, no. Thank you for offering, but this mess isn’t yours.” She fell quiet for a time. “I wonder where he got the Maker’s Mark. Do you think he keeps a secret stash?”

“The Liquor Outlet, probably.”

“Maybe, but I only left for a dog walk and that store is a good distance away. I don’t think he could have left and come back without my noticing,” said Julia.

Erika blanched. “I hope he didn’t snag it from us,” she said. “We’ve been keeping the liquor upstairs in the old playroom until Rick finishes the bar. I know we have one bottle of it. I remember seeing it when I was making the Lake Escape drinks. Do you want me to go look?”

Julia was up on her feet. “Do you mind if I do?” she asked. “If it turns out my husband was also sneaking booze out of your house, I want to be the first to know.”