Page 24 of The Laird’s Unwanted Wife (Legacy of Highland Lairds #5)
W hen Aileen woke the next morning, she hadn’t the slightest clue how to interact with her husband.
Not that she had many opportunities alone with him.
The threat of Carswell’s attack had the keep on high alert, and its laird dedicated every moment of the day to ensure his clan was ready for anything.
Fortifications were made both to the castle and the surrounding keep, with heavily nailed boards becoming a far more common sight against doors and windows. The clanging of metal became commonplace, ringing out from the forges busily preparing arms or from warriors sparring in the training grounds.
There was only one brief moment when their paths crossed that day.
It occurred down in the kitchen, with Aileen visiting in hopes of aiding Mollie during her attempts at training Bannock.
Lunch had long since ended, and the other servants finished the last few dishes and busied themselves elsewhere.
Only Sarah remained behind, tucking away a pair of goblets into the cabinet when Aileen entered.
“Aileen!” Sarah immediately scurried to her friend’s side, though she received a slight glare from the other maids passing by.
She quickly fixed her apron and offered her friend a curtsy, doing her best to repress her clearly excited smile into something more formal.
“Ah, apologies, me Lady. I spoke out of turn. Forgive me, if ye would.”
Aileen did her best to remain stoic as well, waiting for the maids to scamper off before a giggle slipped through her stony facade. “Ye nearly got us in trouble there, Sarah,” she teased, offering her friend a hand as she helped her upright from the curtsy.
“What do ye mean by us?” Sarah laughed. “The lady of the house can do nay wrong.” She offered her friend a chair, already moving to gather ingredients for tea from the cupboards.
“Oh, nay,” Aileen apologized quickly. “I wish I had the time, but Mollie’s expecting me. I’m hoping ye have some scraps left from that boar we had for lunch? The wee one’s trying her hand at training Bannock.”
Though obviously disappointed, Sarah was quick to oblige.
She moved next to the butchering block, scanning the refuse pile for any parts that happened to remain behind after the beast was cleaned.
“Good for Mollie, finding somethin’ to keep her busy.
I cannae imagine how scared she must feel, with Carswell coming back. ”
“On the contrary,” Aileen corrected. “She has hardly shown any signs of distress. I daenae ken if she’s trying to put on a brave face for Gerald, or if being here genuinely puts her that much at ease.”
“Well, good!” Sarah beamed, reappearing with a bowlful of meat scraps. “Sounds like she’s come to see Gerald—ah, the Laird, I mean—as a protective figure to trust.”
Aileen nodded, moving to grab the bowl. Instead, Sarah’s hand found hers, grasping it with a reassuring squeeze.
“And,” Sarah began, a hopeful note added to her tone. “How do ye see him, now? Have ye the chance to talk with him?”
Aileen couldn’t help but grimace, and Sarah’s expression immediately followed suit. “Oh, I mean, I did speak with him! Really, I’m glad ye convinced me to do so. I would be in a worse state if these thoughts stayed locked up in me head.”
Sarah grabbed a nearby chair and sat, hands still holding Aileen’s. “I’m sensing a but in yer words, hen.”
There was, but Aileen didn’t quite know how to describe it. Yes, Gerald hadn’t truly answered what she meant to him, and yet, that moment they shared was undeniable. “We … may have kissed,” she ended up offering weakly.
Sarah gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.
“Nay, Sarah, it isnae as ye think?—”
“Nae as I think?” Sarah squealed, doing everything she could to keep her voice down. “Aileen, that sounds like ye got through to him!”
“I didnae.”
“He sees ye as his wife! Aileen, that’s wonderful!” Sarah moved to embrace her friend, only for Aileen to purposefully lean away. Her friend furrowed her brow, clearly confused. “Aileen it’s wonderful, is it nae?”
“I … I daenae if it is?” Aileen groaned, running her hands frustratingly through her hair. “I mean, it was wonderful—briefly wonderful—but I never got an answer out of him!”
“He kissed ye, though,” Sarah said. “What else could that mean?”
“Ye ken how lustful men can be, Sarah.” There was an air of bitterness to her tone, a sudden pit that had begun to form in Aileen’s chest. She tried to brush it away, tried to ignore the sudden ache around her waist as memories of her banishment from Carswell tried to play across her mind.
“It doesnae take much for them to lose themselves.”
Their conversation lulled briefly, Sarah staring awkwardly at her friend as Aileen began to wring her hands.
Maybe it had only been a moment of weakness—a second where the Laird’s urges had simply taken control.
His lack of answer would certainly support that, and the growing thought only added to the depths of her heartache.
“I’m sorry, Aileen,” Sarah began softly. “That … that sounds difficult.”
Aileen nodded, biting her lip in an attempt to stave off tears.
“If it isnae too personal, would ye tell me exactly what he said?” Sarah moved her chair closer, taking Aileen’s clasped hands gently as they began to tremble from her touch.
“He …” Aileen hesitated, but only for a brief moment.
Holding her hand was the first person who had ever given her a genuine smile.
The first to address her by her name, and not simply as Miss Hughes.
The first to protest her constant moving between the keeps, and the only one to insist on following after her, abandoning any hope of rising the ranks within the servant line.
This was Sarah Anderson; this was Aileen’s dearest friend.
“He didnae say much at first,” Aileen admitted slowly. “Though he kent I was holding something back. And, when it all came out of me—that’s when he kissed me. And then,” she paused, a light flush crossing her cheeks.
“Ye can skip this part,” Sarah assured her, though the slight smile on her face meant she knew exactly where ‘and then’ was meant to go.
Still, Aileen nodded, thankful that she didn’t have to recite their encounter aloud. “But, after it all, he said that … he hoped I nay longer was afraid of being thrown out. That after our … moment,” she added bashfully. “It should be clear what I mean to him.”
Sarah’s brow rose, offering a disgruntled look. “Aye, but ye said it didnae, right?”
Again, Aileen nodded. “I mean, I can assume what he meant by it? Create a grand narrative in me head as to what such vagueness of words could mean, but I shouldnae do that to meself.”
“Aye, that’s right!” Sarah agreed wholeheartedly. “Ye should ken for sure.”
“I mean, he made it seem like he was quite taken with me body,” Aileen went on, rambling somewhat now as the memory of his hands against her bosom flared to life. “And that me womanhood was something to respect and honor …”
“Aileen!” Sarah choked back a gasp, her hands pulling away in shock as she shot her friend a scowling look. “Ye didnae think to mention that before?”
“It … he could have said it out of lust!” Aileen insisted.
“Hen, ye and I both ken how ye see yerself.” Sarah’s startled tone took on a gentler cadence, expression reeling back from shock to sympathy. “How many times had I insisted to ye that yer smaller chest wasnae something to be ashamed of? Or a lack of curves didnae make ye a bad wife-to-be?”
Embarrassment once more rose, flushing Aileen’s cheeks. She quickly hid her face, the palms of her hands doing little to cool her flushed features.
“And it’s nay secret that other men thought similarly, regardless of how foolish I claimed them to be.
” Sarah’s hands gently pulled Aileen’s back to her lap, offering her friend a reassuring smile.
“So, take it as a good sign that he embraces ye for who ye are, and nae for what others deem properly attractive in a lady.”
“But now what?” Aileen asked. “I’ve already said me piece, and he made it quite clear I shouldnae disrespect him again with such outbursts.”
“Then, daenae make it an outburst,” Sarah offered lightly. “Frame it as … a business proposition.”
“A what?” Aileen sputtered.
“Make it part of his duties as Laird of MacLiddel,” Sarah explained.
“If ye arenae certain of yer place here, it will begin to affect how the castle is run. A lady is typically given some form of responsibility over the clan, aye? So, instead of framing it as yer purpose in the relationship, frame it as yer purpose as his lady. He cannae beat around that bush, Aileen. Like it or nay, he’s chosen ye to rule alongside him, and ye cannae do that without proper expectations laid out. ”
It sounded horrifically unromantic, but Sarah had a point. And, truth be told, Aileen was desperate for some sort of task to focus on. Especially with Carswell looming just around the corner, even Mollie had picked up on that quicker than she had.
“For now …” Sarah pushed the bowl of meat scraps into Aileen’s hands.
“Ye go and help yer sister. The Laird is going to be quite busy the next few days, and it’s unlikely a moment will willingly present itself.
So, keep to Mollie. Help her feel safe, and if ye see an opportunity, daenae let it escape ye.
” Aileen couldn’t help but tear up a little.
“Thank ye, Sarah. I daenae ken how I will ever repay ye for all yer kindness.”
A mischievous smile crossed Sarah’s lips.
“Well, if ye’re looking for suggestions, I wouldnae mind an introduction to the Laird’s man-at-arms. I’ve passed him by a few times in the infirmary, though I hadnae the luck to be assigned that room for daily tasks.
If ye were to drop a word with Ms. Blair, though … ?”
Aileen smiled, gently wiping the corners of her eyes. “The next time I see her, I’ll request ye’re put on infirmary duty right away.”