Page 18 of The Lady’s Sweet Revenge (Safely in Scotland #3)

“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I woke up on that ship, worried I might die before I had the chance to find the man who was deemed suitable. If I’d died on that ship I wouldn’t have known so many things…”

“You will do things differently when you get back to London?”

She nodded and twisted her fingers. “I hope I have that chance.”

He reached out and placed his large hand over hers.

“You are safe here, Harlow. I’ll not allow anything to happen to you. You have my word.”

She trusted him and knew he would protect her. She may never have felt so safe as she did there with him.

“Thank you, but that is not why I worry.” It was becoming a habit of telling him more than she meant to. Perhaps it was because of that same trust.

He didn’t even ask, he simply tilted his head and she continued to explain.

“After so many years of rejecting every offer of marriage, I’m often ignored or even ridiculed in Society.

Men do not waste their time asking me to dance.

Women assume I’m too high in the instep and envy the luxury I have to remain unwed while they are forced to find husbands by any means necessary.

I have no friends. The ones I had in those first years have long since wed as I’ve become a spectacle.

A lesson to young women on what happens if they are too choosy and don’t accept their first offer.

I’ve gone from being the Diamond of the Season to being an unwanted oddity. ”

“Aye. An oddity indeed.” He nodded slowly. “An oddity who is quite skilled in feeling sorry for herself.”

She smacked him and laughed as he broke into laugher as well.

“You are a rotter, Lord Breckenridge,” she accused playfully.

They laughed a bit more but when their mirth faded into silence, he reached out and placed his hand on hers again.

“Life doesn’t always allow us second chances to right a wrong or choose a different path.

But from the moment you jumped overboard, you took control of your life again.

Don’t give it up. Walk into the next ballroom and ask someone you fancy to dance.

Get to know him and allow him to know you.

Find the person you want, don’t wait for him to find you.

And please don’t rely on your brothers to approve of someone you’ve come to enjoy. ”

“That’s not how it’s done.” Though she liked the picture he painted.

It seemed easy enough to find a man she could love if she could just ask him how he felt about a variety of topics.

But women were expected to speak only on the shallowest of topics.

She couldn’t tell a prospective gentleman of her fears of growing too old.

She was limited to conversations of her skills on the pianoforte and how many children she wished to have.

“Do you care? The old way didn’t work. Shouldn’t ye try something else?” he asked, challenging her.

She thought over what he’d suggested. It sounded preposterous, but it wasn’t as if her reputation as an oddity would be in danger if she acted any more odd. There was some bit of freedom in being the outcast.

Reese was correct that she didn’t wish to give up control of her life or the freedom she found in giving up on all the rules.

“I don’t give a damn,” she said making him smile wide.

He was quite lovely. She’d noticed the sturdiness and perfect curves of his form previously, but in this moment she noted the warmth in his brown eyes.

“I will ask for what I want, and if I don’t get it, I will ask someone else until I find the right man. ”

“That’s a brave lass,” he nodded as if he were proud of her.

She didn’t realize until that moment that the pride in his eyes was what she’d been fighting for all her life with her brothers and her father. They loved her, she knew that. They indulged her and doted on her, but she’d never known them to ever be proud of her.

Not like Reese seemed to be.

She looked at him again and thought again of what she might have done if he’d had the opportunity to fully ask her to marry him. Would she have kept her promise to herself to marry the next man who asked so she might know what it was like to enjoy the things husbands and wives shared?

She knew well enough a man and woman didn’t need to be wed to enjoy those things. And maybe that was what she needed. The chance to know those intimate details with someone she trusted without the pressure of marriage.

It was truly the opposite of everything a young woman is taught, but she was in control of her fate and this was what she wanted.

“Will you kiss me?” she asked, though her tone made it sound like a challenge.

“You are starting your new plan already?” he asked, but she thought he only wanted to give himself time rather than needing to hear her answer. Or perhaps he was even giving her time to change her mind.

She wasn’t about to change her mind. It might have been a rash idea. No. Ideas were things people actually gave thought to. This had not been an idea, it was more of an instinct or a response.

“I am asking you to kiss me, because it’s what I want. You are free to say no, and I will find someone else I wish to kiss and ask them. That is how I want to live my life going forward. I don’t want to lie in bed, wishing I’d been brave enough to ask. I’m asking. What is your answer?”