Page 40 of The Keeper of the Kingdoms

She leaned in conspiratorially. “You know they can?—”

I pulled my arm out of her grip. “No. Nope.”

“And make it bigger?—”

“Do not finish that sentence. This conversation is done. I’ll see you in a few months. Or years.” I made to stand.

“Don’t be so dramatic!” She dragged me back. “I’m just being a good friend, giving you space to share.”

“Well, there are things I don’t need you to share with me. I’ve known Nyx since we were babes.”

“Fine, fine. But I’ve only known Jaxus for a short time, so I want all the details.”

“You should see a healer. I think you’re a little too obsessed with my love life.”

“Love, is it?” She grinned stupidly.

“It’s just an expression, don’t get excited.”

“I am excited. At least one of us is having some excitement.” She admitted with a sad tone to her voice that gave me an opening.

“How’s Nyx doing?” I asked.

The mood sobered.

“I’m going to make tea.” She said and stood.

I feared for a minute that she’d shut down the subject, but she returned to the seating area with a tray of tea and resumed her seat.

“There are bad days, and there are worse days,” she said at length, and I could have sighed with relief.

“I’m sorry,” I said, pouring myself a cup of tea.

“I know he’s grieving, but I don’t even know him half the time.” She told me, confirming all my nightmares.

“That bad?”

“It is.” She looked lost, suddenly. She was still new to this world and she relied on her mate. I hated this for her and I vowed to myself that I would not let her deal with this alone if I could be of assistance.

“What can I do?”

“Nothing, really. I don’t want you to worry. He’s grieving,” Zaria said quickly. “I just don’t know what that process looks like for a twin. I can’t imagine losing the one you were born with. I was devastated losing my family. Kol was closer to him than anyone else.” There was a flicker in her eyes as she said it. She wasn’t saying something.

“What are you keeping back?”

“Nothing, I’m just worried about him, that’s all. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he’s getting further away from me. He’s— I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try,” I urged, Jaxus’ worries about Nyx spinning in my mind. Was he still in a position to command?

Zaria put her hands over her face. “I don’t want to betray him.”

“He’s one of my closest friends, Zaria. I only want to help him. I’m a healer. I would never do him harm.”

She locked her gaze to mine. “I don’t know if I should.”

“You have to tell someone. Maybe he needs more than you can do.”

She let out a breath. “Okay, I guess I’ll just tell you what I’m seeing. He’s barely sleeping and when he’s here, he’s pacing, but he’s barely with it. We go out at all hours of the day and night searching, and I don’t even think he knows what he’s looking for. Like he’s missing something. When I ask, he says for more of the undead or their strongholds, but I’ve been in all the same council meetings he has and there is no evidence other than the last attack they are anywhere else. We have patrols out and he shouldn’t be on patrol. He should be?—”