Page 49 of The Irish Gypsy

"What the hell did you tell him that for?"asked Madge disgustedly. "We're much closer to Lambeth Bridge."

"Vauxhall!" put in Simon.

Terry hesitated. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but Ibelieve we're closest to Chelsea Bridge.

"Course we are," said Brockington. "Are youfoxed, Simon?"

"I'll tell you what it is, Brocky," saidSimon. "You both got into the sauce before you even met me."

When they arrived at the waterstairs, Kittycouldn't believe all the baggage they had among them.

"Wedding presents." Madge winked at her,touching his nose to indicate it was a secret.

They hailed a barge and the waterman held itsteady while they all climbed aboard. Kitty was excited by thesmell and sounds of the Thames. Simon told the waterman he wouldshow him the dock he wanted when they arrived. "It's betweenWheybridge and Chertsey."

"Not a bit of it," said Brockington. "It'safter Hampton Court but before Chertsey."

"You're both wrong," insisted Madge,"everyone knows the waterstairs are at Richmond, Kingston, HamptonCourt, Wheybridge and Chertsey."

The waterman shook his head as he pulled onthe heavy oar, "Yer awl right, mates, so why argue? Westward ho!"he called out.

Kitty was shocked at the shabby condition ofThe Elms. There was a beautiful center staircase with threebedrooms upon each side, upstairs. Downstairs, there was thekitchen, tiny breakfast room, dining room, lounge and alibrary-cum-gaming room. It was a little gem of a house withmullioned windows, but its furnishings were almost dilapidated. Thedraperies were faded and rotted from the sunlight. The chairs wereall worn and frayed--some covers even hung in tatters--and thecarpets in every room were threadbare. Moreover, the whole placeneeded a thorough cleaning.

Kitty remarked to Terrance, "I'm ashamed tohave guests here when it's in this condition, but they don't seemto mind. It makes you wonder what sort of homes they are usedto."

Terrance chuckled. "Didn't you know, they'reboth lords?"

"Saints preserve us," exclaimed Kitty,astounded.

All the men took themselves off to thestables, so she opened her gifts alone. She was disappointed todiscover the wedding presents were a case of wine and a case ofbrandy.

Simon hadn't even assembled the servants forher to meet, so she went toward the kitchens in search of someone.She found an old woman nodding over a small kitchen fire. "Hello,I'm the new Mrs. Brownlow. Could you ring for the other servants?I'd like to meet my staff."

The old woman looked at her shrewdly beforeshe blurted, "There's only me and Hobson, me old man. He does theoutside work."

"But Mrs. Hobson, who does the cooking?"

"I do," said the old woman.

"Then who does the cleaning?" askedKitty.

The old woman's eyes kindled and she let outa crack of laughter. "Nobody, as ye can plainly see foryourself!"

"But that's terrible. We must hire some girlsfrom the village," suggested Kitty.

"Girls from around here wouldn't come," shestated flatly

Kitty was puzzled. "But why not?"

Mrs. Hobson shook her head. "Goings on," shesaid enigmatically.

"What sort of goings on?" Kitty askedblankly.

"That's for me to know and you to find out,missy," cackled the old girl.

Kitty decided to take a higher hand with thedisrespectful servant. "There will be five of us for dinner. I'llleave the menu in your hands, Mrs. Hobson--after all, I don't wantto start interfering on my first day--but let me assure you that ifI don't find things to my satisfaction, I shan't hesitate to makesome changes round here."

"Well, let me assure you, Mrs. Brownlow, thatunless me and my husband get some of the back wages that is owedus, we shan't hesitate to make some changes round here."