Page 42 of The Idol

I startled, but somehow stood still, letting out a soft gasp at the feeling of his rough skin.

“Shh.”

My breath stuttered.

“I realized that the Light has been telling me to do this—to touch you,” he whispered. My eyes widened. “This is how it wants me to worship you, Elior.”

“But—”

Jace tapped my lips. “I feel it so strongly. It didn’t feel like this before. Sure, I was interested in it, enough to come here, but now… Now Ifeelit, Elior. And when I touch you, it feels like you’re absolving me of my past sins.”

“Oh, uh…” my voice wobbled. “Um…”

“Please, let me do this. I feel like I’m connected to the Light like this. I know it’s not how the rest of the congregation worships you, but…”

I furrowed my brows, trying to understand. He didn’t look like he was teasing me. He seemed surprisingly serious, actually.

“Are you joking with me?” I asked quietly.

“No,” he answered, sounding sincere. I shivered as his fingertip moved from my lips to rest on my jaw.

I examined his face again for any signs of deceit, but found none.

My throat bobbed as I swallowed.

He believed this.

Or at least, helookedlike he did.

If the Light really was working through him—if that was why Jace said he felt it so intensely when he touched me—then who was I to stop that? Who was I to deny him something sacred?

My heart thudded uncomfortably against my ribs.

“It’s still…” I whispered, licking my lips again because they felt tight and dry, “It’s still strange.”

“I know.” His voice gentled even further. “But strange doesn’t mean wrong, does it? It’s just different.”

I dropped my eyes to the ground so that I could think. My thoughts kept tangling themselves up in the way he looked at me, in the heat radiating off his hand.

If another member came to me and said they felt closer to the Light when they prayed beside me, I would agree without hesitation.

If someone said they needed guidance or wanted to kneel near me or hold my hands during worship, I would never refuse. That was what I was here for.

So why was this any different?

He wasn’t touching me inappropriately. Not really.

It just made me feel a bit… unsteady.

And if it really helped him feel the Light—if touching me brought him closer to something holy—wasn’t that good? Wasn’t that what I should want?

I lifted my head again, shyly meeting his gaze.

“Jace,” I said softly, “I don’t really understand, but if this is what helps you…” I watched as his pupils dilated at my words. “I just… I’m not sure Father would approve.”

His thumb grazed my lower lip—so lightly I wasn’t even sure it really happened.

“Maybe not,” he said immediately, firm but gentle. “But doyouthink it’s the right thing to do? You’re the Vessel, Elior. Shouldn’t you get to make some decisions too? Especially for how someone worships you.”