Page 31

It was not just an attempt to feel better; this was a necessity. She could not afford to vomit now – she’d barely drunk anything since yesterday afternoon, and her body needed desperately to hold on to every drop of liquid it could.

Hold it down, hold it down.

Still feeling the earth spin, she tried to picture something solid, something grounded.

The kapok tree where they’d found Scott earlier, its height, its bulk.

The way it seemed to carry on growing all the way up to the sky.

The feel of it, as she rested her hand on its roots.

Yes, that’s it. That’s good. The image was helping.

Another image landed in her mind.

Scott.

The tall, loping shape of him. The broad slope of his shoulders.

His giant hands. When she thought about him, she felt herself come back to her body, to her very centre.

She smiled; the worst of the nausea had passed.

She could move again. But instead she was left with howls of rage; of disappointment. Of sadness.

None of this is how it was supposed to be.

‘Are you all still behind me?’ she called, in the direction she thought they’d last been.

There was silence. ‘Carly? Scott? Mira?’ she said.

‘Are you still there – can you hear me?’ Still nothing.

She crouched to the ground, picked up the knife, shoved it in her backpack.

Then, quietly at first, but gradually getting louder, she heard the snap of twigs, the crackle of branches underfoot and finally, ‘Naya? Are you there?’ Scott, still supporting Mira, appeared through the trees; Carly was directly behind them.

They had caught up with her – she had to tell them.

‘I – I thought it was a road,’ she said.

She could feel hot tears of shame and disappointment springing to her eyes, spilling over, splashing down her cheeks.

‘I’m sorry, everyone, for getting your hopes up – I feel so stupid now, but I was so sure of it. ’

‘Hey,’ said Carly, moving towards her, reaching an arm out to touch her shoulder.

‘It might not be a road full of cars, but this is good – you’ve still found us something that’s going to help.

’ She smiled at her. ‘Streams lead to rivers, and rivers lead to people – they can help us navigate our way out of here. It’s a really great spot to have brought us to. ’

Naya nodded, grateful for the way Carly seemed able to turn her disappointment – her failure, even – into something hopeful.

Licking her dry lips, another idea occurred to her.

‘And can we drink it?’ she said. ‘The water here – it’s fresh, coming straight from these rocks, right?

’ She leaned towards it, turned the palm of her hand up into a cup and started to gather some water inside it.

She was about to lift her hand up to her lips, when Scott roared her name.

‘Naya, stop! No, you can’t bloody drink it,’ he said, his voice throbbing with anger. ‘You’ll make yourself sick with whatever parasites are living in the waters here.’

Please don’t yell at me. Naya looked at the ground; she felt stupid now, on yet another level.

How did I not know that, with my medical training?

Clearly, she had no business being here, as woefully underprepared as she was.

A sudden thought made her stomach churn: imagine if she were stuck out here with her children instead?

She’d have killed them, or at least made them fatally sick by now, if they were going on her advice and intuition.

She was getting it all so wrong – what was I even doing, thinking I’d cope somewhere like this?

But it wasn’t supposed to be like this, she remembered.

Hannah was supposed to be here. They were never supposed to have been wandering around the wilderness like this, lost, in shock, grieving and afraid.

A sob caught in her throat, and Scott must have caught the anguish on her face, because then he was moving towards her, reaching an arm out to hold her, reassuring her.

‘I’m sorry for talking to you like that. I’m not myself – not thinking straight,’ he said. ‘And you scared me – I thought you were about to start gulping it back, and we can’t afford for you to go down as well. We can’t lose you.’

He forced a smile, and Naya looked at him, then at the others, noticing again how red-faced and sweaty everyone was, the clammy heat out here never letting them catch a break. Perhaps what she’d discovered here could still help them – she could still be useful to them after leading them all astray.

‘Well, let me at least try and cool us all down – we’re all overheating out here. I can soak my swimming towel in the water and you can hold that to your head – that’s OK to do with the water, right?’

Scott nodded.

‘OK then,’ said Naya, turning and moving towards the edge of the stream, the others close behind her, throwing her rucksack back over her shoulders.

She made her way to the edge of the water, watched it flowing by, whipping past her feet.

The air here was cooler, cleaner. The cloying, damp scent of the jungle had gone.

She breathed in the freshness, closed her eyes for a moment.

And then a branch cracked right behind her and she was jumpy, so jumpy after everything they’d been through, on edge, nerves shredded, and she startled – her foot somehow slipping forward, losing its grip on the edge of the water.

Her hands flailed wildly, reaching for something – anything – desperate to cling on to something solid, not to be swept away.

But they only moved through air, and more air.

And then the cool shock of the water as her body plunged in and the rushing stream dragged her under, into its gloomy depths.