Page 58 of The Heart of Nym (The Twisted Roots Duology #1)

There was a sense of pride she felt in knowing that everything had gone according to plan.

Even if she hadn't done any of the grueling work like killing or actually ensuring that all of the Mystics were safely relocated to the Beyond, Nymiria had taken part in something great.

Something wonderful that should have made her feel unafraid of showing her face to them, but as Desi helped her into the beautiful purple gown that was left hanging by the door, she could not shake the tremors in her hands.

You were a child, too. His voice repeated over and over in her head, those words on a constant loop that had tears burning her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Desi pulled her closer, hands smoothing over the fine purple silk her body was wrapped in. Her friend was dressed in a gown similar to hers, but in a cream color that made the deep brown tones of her skin seem to shine in the golden light.

Nymiria shook her head, unsure of how to answer. Desi knew her story. She knew that Nymiria was terrified of what waited for her out on that lawn.

The people had gathered to welcome their brethren home, making it a celebration to brighten their spirits and lift their hopes.

She shouldn't have wasted one single moment on her own personal feelings and should have focused more on ways that she could apologize.

Not showing her face was as much of an insult to them as anything, she shouldn't have wanted to hide.

"Look at me," Desi whispered, cupping Nymiria's face in her hands.

She was three years younger, but those dark eyes held wisdom of a soul who was much older—who had experienced things and lived to tell the tale.

A single tear rolled down her cheek, the stream pinched off where Desi's thumb touched her skin.

"If anyone here harbors any hatred towards you, the only thing that you can do is show them that you are still here.

Show them that you have not given up—that you fought.

And you did fight, Nymiria. Please believe that. "

It was easier said than done. After ten years of torturing herself, she wished she could believe that'she'd done well and that everything she sacrificed was worth it.

Owen would have loved to see this moment—would have loved to be beside her as they looked around at all that'd been accomplished and the people that had been saved. But it was not due to her sacrifices that any of this was made possible. This was all Aziel.

"I'll try." She sighed.

Desi gave her a smile that did not reach her eyes, only deepening Nymiria's ache. "We are here with you, Nym. Aziel, my brother, and I… we won't let the darkness win."

"What darkness?" Nymiria scoffed and rolled her eyes before turning to look at herself in the mirror. She didn't deserve this fine dress. While it was beautiful, it reminded her too much of the dresses she would wear as a girl.

Desi's arms slid around her waist, pulling her into an embrace that nearly melted all of the ice around her heart.

"You did nothing wrong, Nym. This darkness that surrounds you, that clouds you from seeing your truth, it will not always be there.

One day you will see what all of us see.

But until then, my only hope is that you will allow us to give you a little bit of light to keep you going.

" She drew in a ragged breath, eyes closing to force away her own tears.

"Flowers may start their growth in darkness, but they need light to flourish.

And I don't want you to think, for one second, that you are not deserving of that light. Everyone deserves that light."

Desi paused, assessing her once more before pulling away. "Come whenever you are ready. We will be waiting for you."

The revelry had already begun by the time Nymiria descended the stairs of Aziel’s palace.

The lawn was lit with torches, each flame varying in colors of pinks, purple, greens, and blues.

Fae lights hovered in the sky, giving the appearance that they were stars having come to join in all of the fun.

It was cause for celebration. And though she was sure that the Mystics Aziel freed were traumatized beyond belief, she looked at them and saw that they’d forgotten for now—for just a moment.

They allowed themselves to breathe, to dance, to laugh, and to just be without the scrutiny of a guard or the dark looming cloud of rules hanging over their heads.

She stood back for a moment, watching them as they ate their food and drank their wines. She watched the children cling to the legs of their parents, peering up at them with hope in their wide and innocent eyes.

This was the home she remembered.

Suddenly, fear weighed at her stomach again, her blood running cold at the thought that someone in that crowd might remember her—and, more terrifyingly, remember what she’d done.

The unrelenting feeling of eyes boring into her skin, peeling her apart piece by piece, was overwhelming.

Instinct took over, her power forcing a repetitive shift of glamours to shield her from onlookers.

Her breathing grew ragged, lungs feeling as if the cage of bones surrounding them were starting to shrink.

Nymiria slowly staggered behind one of the stone pillars, pressing a hand to her stomach as if it could will more air into her starving lungs.

In moments like this, only mere days ago, green eyes would be a sedative to her panic.

Today, it was a galaxy of blues twinkling under the fae lights that drew her attention away from the war inside her body.

His steady warmth flooded her system, the scent of cherry blossoms filling her nose.

She breathed it in, gulping at it with aching desperation until her panic was quelled.

Breathe, he mouthed.

He was still lingering in the field of revelry, people dancing and twirling around him. But for both of them, time seemed to stop completely.

For a moment, it was just them.

The shift was more evident now than it had ever been—so evident that Nymiria found it hard to breathe for a completely different reason, the comforting warmth that filled her now a wildfire of unadulterated desire.

Across the way, Aziel’s hand flexed in his gloves, his body trembling with a ferocity of emotion as he watched her.

She looked terrified—of him, of this, of everything.

He wanted to tell her everything in that moment.

He’d risk it all, everything he’d planned, and everything the universe planned for him if it meant that she wouldn’t look so scared.

The shadows behind him split to reveal his friend, but Aziel didn’t dare break the intense gaze that he and Nymiria were locked into. He felt him there, felt a hand fall onto his shoulder and squeeze it with soft encouragement.

“Go get her.” Trio whispered.

It was as if she was the moon and he was the very planet that depended on her force to keep him in place.

The moment she moved, the moment she turned and started back up the stairs to his palace, Aziel followed.

And as he paced behind her in those halls, breathing in the warm floral scent of her, he knew he’d spend an eternity doing just this if he had to.

He would follow her to the ends of the earth, to every corner of every galaxy.

Even if it took an eternity and her passing words were a confession of love, he would wait for it with bated breath.

His heart pounded in his ears, his stomach curling into knots, and his hands sweating inside of the leather that encased them as they neared his room. His room. And hers, too, if she wanted it.

Gods, just the image of her wrapped in his sheets was enough to set his entire being on fire.

Nymiria didn’t even bother closing the door behind her when she walked in.

It was becoming harder to swallow—harder to think. His cock ached inside of his breeches, straining against the fabric and all it took was her fucking scent to have him this hard, this wound up...

Unbelievable.

He hissed through his teeth as he slammed the door closed behind them, but Nymiria didn’t jump.

She made no quick movements of fear. In fact, she turned to him so slowly that it felt as if the world were ending.

He'd always felt the pull towards her, but he'd ignored it long enough.

Over time, it became a gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach, climbing and spreading through him—driving him mad in the late hours of the night.

The kiss they'd shared at the inn nearly did him in.

He almost lost every ounce of control he had over himself.

He hadn't been able to erase it from his mind. He hadn't been able to find pleasure in anything else. Night after night, he'd pumped himself to completion at the mere thought of it, only able to dream.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Nymiria stared at him, blinking away tears before shaking her head. "I don't know. I thought I was. I thought I could do it, but then I saw you… something happened."

Something had happened. He'd felt it. He couldn't explain it, as there were no words in any language that could describe what'd happened, like he'd seen both of their futures and pasts colliding, like their souls merged in that distance between them.

“You feel it too.” She whispered.

It wasn’t a question. It was a fact, the truest words he’d ever heard coming out of anyone’s mouth.

At her confirmation, his shoulders relaxed a fraction.

Nymiria’s breathing was ragged, her pale skin flushed pink as she watched him take a step closer to her.

It was languid and graceful, a walk one would take years retracing to perfection.

Even if it was just for tonight, Nymiria didn’t want to deny what she was feeling. Her natural instincts had taken over, fueling the fire inside of her and the desire to have him closer.

“I feel you.” Aziel breathed, shaking his head. “It’s not enough.”

No. It wasn’t enough.