Page 56 of The Haunting of William Thorn

I killed Archie.

Who would’ve thought that it only took three words to shatter a person’s world? Three words to ruin flesh, soul and bone. To crack open the universe and let all the darkness in to fill the void.

That’s what happened.

William Thorn broke, entirely.

Everything came to a stop, even the rain seemed to hang like crystallised pendulums, all whilst Edward just stood there with the weight of guilt baring down on broad shoulders.

Hanbury Manor watched as William closed the space between him and Edward, cocked back his fist and drove it into Edward’s face. His hot, spiking anger didn’t come from the revelation, but the fact that the poisonous words Edward had just shared had been yet another lie.

The crack of fist to skin made no noise. Or maybe William didn’t hear it beneath the gruff groan of Edward as he snapped his head to the side, clutching a hand to his nose.

“Liar,” William spat. “You – fucking – horrible – liar .”

With each lashing of his tongue, William pushed with his hands and his full might into Edward’s chest, staggering him back.

By the fourth push Edward stumbled over his feet, falling to the ground.

William was left to hover over him, a looming force of sinister emotion that longed to cause pain to the man beneath him so that he could experience a lick of what he left rage inside.

“I’m not lying,” Edward replied, almost too calm for the moment. “I swear it. For the first time, I’m telling you the truth.”

It took considerable effort not to kick Edward whilst he was down. An energy built beneath his skin, so potent, if he could sink his fingers into the seam of the world, he was sure it would tear apart with the ease of soaking wet paper.

“Do you find a thrill from playing these games with me?” William shouted, letting the storm swallow up his revulsion. “Do you!”

“No, William. I–”

“Go. Leave, tonight. I don’t ever want to see you again, Edward. I don’t ever want to think about you.” He almost believed himself as he said it. “You’ve brought this chaos to my door, and for what? Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t care to listen to another word out of your mouth.”

To solidify his command, William cocked his hand back and threw the car keys as far from the manor’s door as he could muster. Edward didn’t bother to watch as they sailed over him, landing in a clatter amongst the puddled driveway somewhere in the distance.

“Goodbye, Edward.”

Edward scrambled to standing, unfolding himself back to his height, and yet why did he seem so small compared to William now?

“If you don’t let me explain, I’ll never be free of this haunting.”

William bristled. “I owe you nothing.”

He had to leave. He had to get back inside the house, lock the door and close Edward out forever. William spun on his heel to leave, but a brave hand reached out and stopped him.

“You don’t believe me because the man who drove that car into Archie and killed him went to court.

Right? You don’t believe me because that man is currently rotting behind bars for the crime of driving under the influence of drugs.

And you don’t believe me because he pleaded guilty on all accounts. Right, William?”

“Exactly,” William hissed, rainwater and spit splashing from his lips.

“But it was my fault,” Edward said with such wide, harrowing eyes that it was becoming hard not to believe him.

“Because that man, Jonathan Destin, was my ex-boyfriend. It was because of me that he was in that car. It was because of me that he was fuelled on drugs. You blame Jonathan. But the truth was it was all because of me !”

Edward screamed the last word, shattering the storm.

Hearing that name was the final blade that pierced him, sinking so deep William felt the thud of a hilt as it drove the breath from his lungs. Immobilised by the name Edward had so carelessly flung between them, William felt all his bravado leave him in a single instance.

“I don’t believe you.” It was all he could manage out of his numb mouth. “I won’t.”

“And I don’t expect you to. But at least let me tell you, you deserve to know everything.

Then I will go, and I swear you’ll never be burdened by me again.

I know what damage I’ve caused, I know the pain and…

William, I’m so sorry. There will never be enough words to explain just how sorry I am.

For a moment here I thought I could make it up to you in a way, but now I know that was just a selfish desire driven by my own guilt – guilt which has haunted me long before I arrived here. ”

Edward’s tearful gaze shifted back to the door of the manor. William didn’t need to turn and look to know that Archie’s ghost still watched on, amused by the interaction.

After all, this was what it had wanted. This very moment.

William didn’t have the energy left in him to refuse. But that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it.

The figure wearing the red coat kept him from entering the manor and running from this truth. He had no choice but to hear Edward out, to entertain the man’s thoughts of grandeur.

“So that partner you told me about, that was…” William couldn’t even say the name. He vowed never to speak it, let alone think it, for fear it gave the name power.

“Jonathan drove the car over Archie, yes. But it was my actions that pushed him to that point.” Edward finally dropped his hold on William, leaving prints of cold fingers on his arm.

“Like you, Jon believed I’d been having an affair with Archie.

He found out I’d visited Archie for dinner but wouldn’t let me explain myself.

It went to his head – he was always a jealous person.

It had only gotten worse in the four years we’d been together.

He had an appetite for drugs – soft stuff, but the type where if you took too much, you’d lose your mind over time.

And that’s what happened. I tried to explain why I was meeting Archie for dinner.

He wouldn’t have it. I thought he’d calm down, but I woke the next day to find my car missing.

He took it… he drove from Oxford to London, simmering on the belief that he would track down the man I’d met up with.

Between the drugs, the madness and the weather… ”

“Wait,” William exhaled, needing a moment to breathe.

He knew where the story was going – and how it would end.

He’d sat in that courtroom, listening to the guilty pleading his case.

He’d read the transcriptions of interviews and spoken to solicitors.

He knew all about the man who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

William sunk to his haunches, wrapping his arms around his knees as he tried to steady his breathing. Edward soon joined him on the floor, keeping a sensitive distance, yet it was obvious all he wanted was to touch William and offer him some physical comfort when the truth was finally laid bare.

The rain continued to fall, blending in with his tears.

It wasn’t that the horror of this new information caused William’s suffering.

Like Edward said, William already knew it.

It was the fact that William had also believed that Archie was cheating.

It was William who kicked him out of their home, forced him onto that bike – it was William who put Archie in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“If what you are saying is true, then I’m the one who killed Archie,” William said, a vicious roaring of blood filling his ears. “That truth has never changed, and won’t no matter what else you have to say.”

“This isn’t your fault.”

William looked up through wet-clumped lashes, his lip curling into a snarl. “I killed him, Edward. I didn’t let him explain himself either. I forced him to leave. I might as well have placed that car in his direction. I – killed – him.”

The air was driven from William’s lung so suddenly the entire world titled on its axis. Edward was there to catch him before he fell.

“If I’d not petitioned for Archie to meet with me.

If I’d given up on these childish ideas that I could solve the mystery of Teddy and bring my great-grandmother peace of what happened to her brother here, Archie would be alive.

Be here, with you, now. Jonathan would’ve never gotten in that car, simmering on the belief that he was going to confront the man I was supposedly having an affair with.

If I’d just turned my back on my hopes, you would’ve never mistrusted Archie enough to kick him out.

This is my doing, all of it. And I know that there is nothing I can do or say that will ever, ever change that… ”

Blame wasn’t a new feeling for William. Nor was shame.

He’d always known that his actions had put Archie in the path of that car.

It was that fact that drove William, on that one night of grief, to take the packet of painkillers and the bottle of red wine and toast to his late love’s departure.

But the universe had other plans for him.

William didn’t escape life as he had hoped for that night.

It was painful to think back to that time when William attempted to take his own life.

More so that he failed. His neighbour had come with food, only to hear no answer when they attempted to knock on the front door.

They managed to break through, finding William in bed just before death could claim him.

Next thing William knew, he’d woken up in the hospital, where he stayed briefly.

Then, it was to stay in the Crisis house until the mental health nurse was confident that William was in a safe place mentally.

It was one of the reasons he came to Hanbury. His secret third option. Come, face what life looked like without Archie, and take his own life where no one would find him until it was too late.

He would’ve done it too. And then Edward came in and saved him only to ruin it with every word out of his mouth.