Page 50 of The Harvey Girls

Thirty-Eight

“Leif!” she yelled and threw her arms around him.

He hugged her tightly, picking her up off the floor for a moment, then he returned her to the ground and pulled back to look at her. His smile was as wide as a prairie.

“Are you surprised?”

“Of course I’m surprised! How did you… what are you doing here?”

“I got myself transferred. After I read your letter, I knew I had to.”

Her letter. The one in which she told him that it seemed as if she’d known him all her life, and he felt like family to her, and she loved him. And now, in slightly less than two months since she’d written those words, she’d gone and gotten herself a sheik.

Leif took her hand and pressed the envelope into it.

“I have to go. I was supposed to get here yesterday, but the train crew got the grippe, and we sat on the tracks for half a day waiting for a new crew, and I missed my connection in Williams. They’ve got me on the dinner shift, and I don’t want to get fired before I even start. Can we talk tomorrow?”

She blinked at him, her heart in her throat at the thought of having to tell him what she’d done. “Of course,” she said.

“Don’t be sad,” he murmured, those teacup-crackle eyes looking into hers. “It’s only a few hours. Then we’ll have all the time in the world.”

Billie stood stunned in the parlor for a few minutes after he left, the pain in her chest growing until her whole body hurt. She walked woodenly back down the hallway. As she passed the kitchen, Mae said, “That was him, wasn’t it? The one who didn’t write.”

Billie stopped and nodded. She looked at the envelope still clutched in her hand, and tears started to roll down her face. “I didn’t think…,” she whispered. “I didn’t know…”

“Oh, now,” soothed Mae, taking Billie by the shoulders and guiding her to one of the wooden chairs at the table. “None of us knows anything until we do.”

“Knows what?” Charlotte appeared in the doorway. She’d been on shift with Billie, but then headed off to Will’s to discuss their tour schedule, or some such nonsense. Billie knew she just liked his company.

Mae sighed. “He came. Just showed up out of nowhere.”

“What?” Charlotte’s head swiveled to look over her shoulder. “Where?”

“Not him,” said Billie quickly, swiping at her cheeks. “Leif. He got himself transferred here.”

Charlotte sank against the doorframe, visibly relieved. “Leif,” she echoed, as if to reassure herself. Mae eyed her but said nothing.

“What’s this? A tea party?” Henny appeared behind Charlotte in the doorway, strawberry blond hair swept up in a ponytail, cheeks flushed. She was wearing an old white shirtwaist blouse tucked into a pair of men’s trousers.

“Where have you been?” asked Mae. “Panning for gold?”

“Just a little hike.” Her eye caught Billie’s tearstained cheeks. “Oh dear, what’s the matter?”

Charlotte had regained her composure. “Apparently she suffers from an excess of suitors.”

Mae chuckled. “No such thing.”

Henny moved into the room and sat next to Billie. “Why don’t you tell us all about it, and we’ll sort it out together.”

Mae brewed tea and broke out some biscuits she’d been saving, and the four of them sat at the long table listening to Billie’s tale of friendship with Leif that became a little something more on her last night in Topeka. And she told them about the letter she wrote.

“He’s all alone in the world with no family. I just wanted him to know that I cared for him and that I felt… a bond.”

“Felt or feel?” asked Henny.

“Given the little shriek of joy I heard all the way down the hall,” said Mae, “I’d say the answer is ‘feel.’?”

Billie slumped in her seat. “But I told Robert I’d go steady, and Da always says you can’t go back on your word.”

“Which do you like better?” asked Mae.

“I like them both.”

“Who’s a better kisser?”

“Mae!” said Charlotte. “That is no way to make a decision.”

Mae crossed her arms under her bosom. “Well, what’s your advice, then?”

“She should choose the man who will respect her and treat her with courtesy.”

“You’re a real barrel of monkeys,” muttered Mae.

“They both do that,” said Billie. “They’re both very nice to me.”

“There is one big difference…,” offered Henny.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t mean to be snooty, and I respect any man who works hard at any job. Leif’s kitchen help, right? He could rise through the ranks—and I bet he will. But Robert’s already a park ranger, and he’s the ambitious type. If you stick with him, you could really go places.”

The room fell silent as they all considered this.

“I think maybe the most important difference,” said Billie, “is that Robert is Catholic and Leif isn’t. My maw wouldn’t like me dating someone who doesn’t share our faith.”

“Well, there’s your answer then,” said Henny.

“But Leif is a good man, too.”

“Why don’t you open that letter and see what he has to say for himself?” suggested Mae. “Maybe that’ll help you decide.”

“Letter?” asked Charlotte, and Billie raised the now crumpled paper in her hand. “Oh, no, that’s private. You can’t read it here. Go up to our room to open it.”

“She just poured her heart out,” said Mae. “We know the whole story. The least she could do is let us hear what he has to say.”

“Perhaps another time, after she’s had a few moments to digest it herself.” Charlotte was tugging at Billie’s arm to get her to rise.

“ Digest it?” laughed Henny. “What’s she going to do, swallow it whole?”

“I don’t mind—” Billie began.

Charlotte glared at her. “How would Leif feel if he knew you were reading his words aloud for the entire world to hear?”

Billie colored in shame. “It’s bad enough I went and got a steady beau.”

Charlotte patted her arm as she walked her to the door. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You go read your letter, and I’ll take a walk to give you some privacy.”

When Billie had left, Mae said, “Wet blanket.”

“Busybody,” Charlotte retorted and headed for the front door.

Henny was soon at her side as they headed down the path in the direction of the Bright Angel Hotel. “Why’d you get so hot under the collar?”

“Because Billie is a young, impressionable girl, and I don’t like that woman telling her to choose a man based on his kissing skills.”

“Don’t worry. Billie’s smarter than that… no matter how young she is.”

Charlotte sensed the edge of something in the way Henny said those last words. She needed to change the subject and fast. “Who did you go hiking with?”

Henny didn’t answer for a moment. “Just a friend.”

“You don’t have to tell me who, but I’m guessing it was that brakeman who’s been following you around like a lost puppy.”

“No, not him. Actually it was Nora.”

“ Nora?” Charlotte could imagine the foul-tempered head waitress chastising the rocks for being in her path.

“She can be nice, you know.”

“I’ll have to take your word for that.”

“She’s just very serious about the Harvey standard and doing her best. But she can be funny and even silly when she’s not on the job.”

“You should try your hand as a lion tamer.”

Henny smiled. “They’re just big kitty cats, after all!”

Dear Billie,

Happy 16th birthday!

So that was why Charlotte insisted that she not read the letter out loud.

By the time you are reading this, I will have said it already face to face, but I told you I would write, and it is not right to break a promise.

I have read your letter so many times, it is a wonder the words have not worn right off the page.

It has warmed my heart, but it has also made me think.

Until I met you, I was alone in this world, and I told myself that is just how I like it.

When you lose people, you do not like to put yourself in the way of heartbreak again.

You gave me hope that I could have friends and love and maybe even be part of a family someday.

I told Frances that she had to get me sent to the Grand Canyon so I could protect Charlotte, which I certainly will do.

But there was selfishness in it, too. I want to be near the only person I have loved since my father died.

Yours always,

Leif

The only person he loved since he was eight years old. Billie couldn’t stop thinking about that. She also couldn’t stop thinking about how he said it wasn’t right to break a promise. Hadn’t she made a promise to Robert to be his girl?

When Charlotte came back to the room, Billie showed her the letter.

“Now I’m doubly glad you didn’t read it out loud,” Charlotte said, sinking down on the bed next to her.

“Why?”

“Because Henny has become friendly with Nora, and if she learns your age, you’ll be sent packing without so much as a farewell.”

“With Nora ?”

“Apparently she can be nice. So says Henny.”

“The woman could curdle fresh cream with a look!”

“I hate to say it, but I suspect there could be some ulterior motive. Nora has always disliked us for our inexperience and how fast we rose up the Harvey ladder. I wonder if she’s befriended Henny to find reason to fire us.”

Billie was crestfallen. “At least Leif is the only one who knows our secrets. And he won’t tell.”

“Actually…”

Billie turned to eye Charlotte. “Actually what?”

“I did tell Will how old you are.”

“Charlotte, how could you!”

“I’m sorry. But honestly there’s no one more trustworthy than Will.”

“So trustworthy that you’ve told him you’re married and using someone else’s name?”

Charlotte looked down at her hands.

“Oh, so it’s fine to spill my secret, but not your own!”

“Billie, I promise you, he won’t breathe a word—”

“You had no right! I’ve never told anyone about you—”

“Not even Robert on all those long walks you two take?”

“How could you accuse me of such a thing?” Billie sputtered with fury. “Unlike you , I can keep my trap shut!” Blind with rage, she stormed out, down the stairs, and out into the night.

She wanted to scream, but what was she, a five-year-old? Instead she continued to stalk down the path away from the village, past the buildings and the nighttime strollers until there was no one around. Winded, she stopped and glared out over the canyon.

She hated Charlotte! Billie picked up a rock and threw it over the edge. Then she picked up another. And another.

She smelled it before she heard a sound. Smoke.

She whirled around and there suddenly was Nora.

“Jaysus!” said the woman, clearly startled. Tobacco use was a clear infraction of Harvey Girl rules. She hid the cigarette behind her, but it glowed all the same. “What in the world are you doing out here so late?” she demanded.

“Well, I’m not smoking , am I?”

Nora narrowed her eyes and pointed at Billie, the cigarette wedged between her fingers. “If you tell a soul, so help me—”

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Billie snarled. “Trust me, I’m the best secret keeper you ever met!” And with that, she stomped right back toward the dorm.

Charlotte had changed into her nightgown, but she was sitting up in bed with the light on, waiting. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I should never have told him without your permission.”

Billie put her hands on her hips. “That’s all you have to say?”

“It’s all I can say. I can’t undo it.”

Billie thumped down onto her bed. Suddenly she felt more bone-weary than she ever had in her life. She wasn’t really so mad at Charlotte—she knew Will wouldn’t reveal her secret any more than Leif would. She was mad at herself for getting into this mess in the first place.

“What am I going to do?” she said, her voice going tremulous.

“Well, I suppose the only thing you can do is to tell Leif the truth. Very gently.”

He was waiting for her when she got off shift the next afternoon.

“I meant to catch you before you started,” he said, “but I didn’t wake up in time. It’s noisy in the dorm. I didn’t get to sleep until the wee hours.” He smiled bashfully. “I guess I was excited to see you again, too.”

They walked east past the Hopi House and along the Rim Trail. Leif hadn’t had a chance to explore, and he was awestruck by it all. Billie relayed many of the things Robert had told her, and was pleased with her tour guide skills until he asked, “How’d you learn all this?”

She hesitated. “I’ve been spending time with one of the park rangers.”

Leif’s gait slowed. “Spending time.”

“Yes.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Billie’s mind spinning like a top to think of any way she could spare him the hurt of what she had done.

“Is he your beau?”

“Yes, but, Leif, I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again.”

“You wrote me that letter.” His voice was low, as if he were sinking into himself.

“I meant every word of it.”

“Billie.” He stopped. “You said you loved me.”

“I do! I do love you! I just… I thought… And when I didn’t get a letter from you on my birthday, I figured you’d forgotten me, so I promised I’d be his girl.”

This seemed to land the hardest. “Forgotten you? Forgotten? ”

When he said it like that, she realized how silly it sounded. “I… I lost faith.”

“I guess you surely did.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

He nodded. “Is he good to you?”

“Yes. He’s very kind.”

“And he knows how old you are?”

Billie didn’t answer. Leif shook his head. “So you’re lying to him.”

“I didn’t lie, I just didn’t—”

His look stopped her cold, and it scared her.

“Leif, you wouldn’t…”

In that moment she was fairly certain she saw his heart break completely. “You really have lost all faith in me,” he murmured, and turned and left her there.