Page 110 of The Hardest Hit

“Randall had Henry exhumed and ran an autopsy report,” continued Evan.

Eleanor’s eyes filled with tears and none of the cousins moved. They had never seen their grandmother this vulnerable.

“I had to,” she gasped as if the words had been squeezed out. “I had to. He was going to make Owen… I couldn’t… I couldn’t… I failed them so many times. I couldn’t let him.”

She dropped down into the nearest chair as if her knees had given out, tears trickling down her cheeks.

“What was Henry going to do?”

“He was getting better, and the stronger he got the more he started back into all of his old tricks. He said he’d let things slide. Jack wasn’t good enough for Genevieve. Randall was spending too much time in Chicago. And Owen…”

“What about Dad?” asked Evan.

“He always targeted him. Randall tried to protect him. But Henry…” Eleanor shook her head and blinked tears away. “He’d always hated that Owen wasn’t… Owen wasn’t ever going to be… Owen had you. He had a son. I thought that would be enough. But Henry hated Owen for being…” Eleanor couldn’t even say it.

“Gay?” blurted out Dominque, as if she had just put the pieces together and Evan hung his head in exasperation.

“Nice,” muttered Aiden.

“Dad was bisexual,” said Evan.

“It didn’t matter what he was,” said Eleanor.

“Yes, it does,” said Evan. “People are always trying to force bi people to pick a box to lock themselves in.”

“I mean it doesn’t matter what he was because he wasn’t straight and Henry hated it. I know this doesn’t seem like much, but you don’t understand. Henry would announce these things, and then somehow he would get his way. I can’t prove it, but I swear he made your mother leave. And the healthier he got the more Henry started talking about how he was going to force the family to straighten up and act right. And I just couldn’t…” Eleanor stroked Evan’s face. “I couldn’t protect them when they were young. I was a failure as a mother. I am aware of that. But I couldn’t let him ruin their lives any more than he already had. I couldn’t let him…” Her voice died away to a whisper and she swallowed hard.

“Couldn’t what?” asked Jackson softly. “What was Henry going to do?”

“He was going to take Evan.”

“Take me?” repeated Evan, stupidly.

“Owen loved you. He really did. You should have seen his face when you were born. And the idea of letting Henry do to you what he did to Owen and Randall… I couldn’t face it. It would have broken Owen. I know he was a terrible father. I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t stop him from hurting you, but he really did love you.”

“I know,” said Evan, because he did. It was the worst dichotomy of abuse. Reconciling the broken and warped puzzle pieces of his father still frequently seemed beyond him. On many days it required him to hold two very contradictory truths in his head at once, but he wanted both of those truths to be honored.

“He did love me, but respect me by stating the truth. Dad abused me.” Evan glanced up at Dominique. “Don’t whitewash the past.”

Dominique smiled at him and for the first time, he felt all right with her forgiveness.

“I don’t want to,” said Eleanor, straightening up into a semblance of her usual poise. “But I don’t see the point in dwelling on it. He isn’t here now and you are.”

“Yes, I am,” said Evan in frustration. “So why are you treating me like the enemy?”

Eleanor stared at him, clearly at a loss for words.

“Because you changed,” said Olivia. “And she’s afraid you’ll change back. A lot of times it’s easier to just have things be bad than wait for them to go bad.”

Eleanor turned to Olivia, her expression furious. “I don’t want you here!”

“Then you don’t want me here,” said Evan. “You want me to leave.”

“No! I want you to…” She trailed off clutching at his arm.

“You want me to what?” demanded Evan. “Be depressed and suicidal?”

“I just want everyone to be safe,” said Eleanor, sounding desperate. Her hand was clenching and unclenching on his sleeve.