Page 16 of The Happiness of a Most Beloved Sister (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

E lizabeth did not see Jane again until dinner, when she blithely glided to her place at the table, directly across from where she was seated herself.

With her heart thumping hard in her chest, she attempted to garner Jane’s attention but was studiously dismissed.

The hard lump that had formed in her throat sank into her stomach, making her feel decidedly queasy.

‘You have ruined, perhaps forever, my chance at happiness. I shall never forgive you for it.’ Jane’s censure echoed repeatedly in Elizabeth’s brain, bouncing from one side to another like the clapper of a bell.

She wanted to believe that Jane had not meant it, but she had never known her perfect elder sister to ever speak so harshly to anyone.

Elizabeth’s betrayal must have been deeply wounding for her to have said such a thing, and she had no hope of immediate forgiveness.

Perhaps Mrs Gardiner could help them mediate a truce whilst they were in London ?

Once everyone was settled and served, Mrs Bennet looked to Jane. “While you are in town, I expect you to take every opportunity to see Mr Bingley again. You have his sisters’ direction, and you ought to use it to your advantage.”

Jane, whose eyes remained fastened on her plate, softly replied, “I certainly shall. I only hope it is not too late.”

Elizabeth flinched.

“Too late?” Mrs Bennet repeated, frowning in consternation. “It has barely been a month! Surely he would not forget a face and form such as yours in so short a time. I daresay he will recall your beauty on his deathbed.”

Mr Bennet chuckled and raised his wine glass in his wife’s honour. “Charming.”

“I do not suggest that he has forgotten me, but rather that he has been dissuaded from pursuing me by certain persons ”—Jane cut a sharp glare at Elizabeth, which pierced her like a knife—“who do not know their place.”

Although Mrs Bennet was not especially quick, anyone would have noted the direction of Jane’s slung arrow. Indeed, all heads at the table turned towards Elizabeth as her mother shrilly exclaimed, “What did you do, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth made to explain herself, but Jane beat her to it. “It seems that Elizabeth took it upon herself to meddle where she was not wanted and persuaded Mr Bingley that I was too sickly for marriage. She must have been convincing, for he abandoned Netherfield the very next day.”

Gasps went up around the table from each of the ladies. Mr Bennet raised his bushy eyebrows in a mix of surprise and diversion, while the Gardiners darted their eyes from one person to the next, taking in the scene.

Lydia was the first to break the appalled silence with a braying laugh. “Oh, well done, Lizzy! Do stay away from the militia, though, else the entire regiment might decamp elsewhere, and we shall all suffer for it.”

Kitty guffawed alongside Lydia, adding, “She sent Mr Collins off too! We had better keep her away from all the gentlemen lest there are none left for any of us!”

Elizabeth burned at their ridicule but refused to allow any tears to fall. She had more dignity than that.

“Girls,” Mrs Gardiner barked, cutting their mirth to the quick.

“There is absolutely no call for that. Lizzy might have spoken out of turn, but there is no proof that anything she has done sent Mr Bingley away. Indeed, I think it entirely unlikely that a gentleman past his majority could be so easily dissuaded.”

“The proof is in how quickly Mr Bingley ran to London!” cried Mrs Bennet, fanning herself with her lacy handkerchief. “Oh, I just knew Lizzy would be the ruin of us all! My poor nerves!”

Unable to countenance any more, Elizabeth rose from the table and fled the room, not stopping until she was safely ensconced in her bedchamber. Therein, she allowed the tears to flow freely.

A soft scratch at the door some time later drew her from her miserable occupation. After nominally drying her cheeks, she bade whoever it was to enter, little though she was interested in company.

Mrs Gardiner stepped inside and, upon seeing Elizabeth’s tearstained face, rushed over to her. She sat on the bed next to her and gathered her niece into her arms, cradling her against her shoulder. “Oh, my poor dear.”

Elizabeth’s sobbing was renewed for several more minutes before she withdrew from her aunt’s embrace, utterly spent. “There now,” said Mrs Gardiner, stroking some wayward hair back from her face. “Do you feel better now?”

“No,” Elizabeth feebly replied. “How can I possibly feel better when I have ruined Jane’s happiness?”

“That is utter nonsense! Why would you say such a thing?”

“It was not I who said it but Jane herself. She blames me for Mr Bingley’s going away, and she is right.”

“We discussed this before, do you recall?” When Elizabeth glumly nodded her head, Mrs Gardiner continued, “I care not for what Jane, or your mother, or anyone thinks. You are not to blame for Mr Bingley’s actions. I shall say it as many times as you need to hear it until you believe me.”

“You may be right, but I doubt Jane will ever believe it. She hates me!”

Mrs Gardiner scoffed. “She does not hate you. She is merely angry and looking for someone to blame.”

“And whom should she blame if not me?”

“She ought to begin with herself. If Mr Bingley was not in love with her enough to remain constant, then it is hardly the fault of anyone else.”

Elizabeth gaped at her aunt, aghast. “How can you say that?”

“Partly because it is true and partly because I am upset with her for how she has handled this situation. I intend to rescind my invitation for her to join us in London.”

Leaping to her feet, Elizabeth objected, “You cannot do that! She will despise me even more for depriving her of the opportunity of seeing Mr Bingley again.”

Tugging on Elizabeth’s hand, Mrs Gardiner encouraged her to retake her seat. She did so, but anxiously perched along the edge of the mattress.

In a soothing tone, her aunt said, “She does not deserve such consideration after that mean display. Not only are her accusations unfair and cruel, but she voiced them in front of your mother and younger sisters. She had to have known the effect that would have.”

“It is still more my fault than hers. If I had not?—”

Mrs Gardiner raised a staying hand. “I will have no more of that, thank you. She might be hurt, but that gives her no right to hurt others in return. It is unfair to you and a poor example to your cousins.”

“Please, Aunt,” Elizabeth wheedled, her voice pitched in a whine unflattering to her own ears. “Do not deprive Jane of her trip to town. If there is any chance of her mending things with Mr Bingley, she must go to him. I know she treated me unkindly, but she is overwrought and…and…”

“You are good to defend her, but she does not deserve your compassion.” Mrs Gardiner took a deep breath before releasing it in a harsh rush. “In truth, she has deprived herself of the visit by insisting that I disinvite you .”

Although Elizabeth ought to have expected it, hearing that Jane had perpetrated such calumny against her twisted the knife deeper. “I cannot fault her there. I would not wish to be around me in her situation either.”

“Lizzy…”

“If I agree to remain at Longbourn, will you take Jane with you instead?”

“I would rather have you than her at this juncture.”

“ Please , Aunt?” She turned to face Mrs Gardiner directly, grasping her hands as she made her final plea. “ For my sake? Regardless of who is at fault, I want Jane to have a chance at reuniting with Mr Bingley. She deserves it.”

“We shall have to agree to disagree on that point,” Mrs Gardiner grumbled, “but if it will assuage your conscience, then I shall allow her to come. For you.”

Elizabeth hugged Mrs Gardiner tightly to her. “Thank you!”