Page 14 of The Happiness of a Most Beloved Sister (Pride and Prejudice Variation)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A month later, Mr Bingley was no more forgotten than when he was standing before them, charming the neighbourhood and raising expectations.

Nor had the Bennets managed to go on as they had before being introduced to him, thanks to Mrs Bennet keeping the ne’er-do-well at the forefront of their thoughts.

She waffled between vexation—“I shall always say that he used my daughter extremely ill”—catastrophe—“I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart and then he will be sorry for what he has done”—and improbable hope—“He will be down again in the summer, I am sure of it”—but none of her hysterical ramblings were of any comfort to anyone.

Mr Bennet, who congratulated Jane on being crossed in love for the distinction it supposedly lent her, was no better than his wife in consoling his eldest daughter.

If anything, his brand of levity only stoked Mrs Bennet’s fervency regarding Mr Bingley, preventing Elizabeth from turning her mother’s attention elsewhere.

Several times, in order to spare Jane the vexation of their mother’s lamentations, Elizabeth had proffered herself up as the sacrificial lamb by mentioning Charlotte’s forthcoming marriage to Mr Collins.

She hated to do it, for Mrs Bennet was as unrelenting on that subject as she was on Mr Bingley’s defection, but it was the least she could do given her possible role in sending her sister’s beau away.

The longer Elizabeth considered the matter, endlessly reviewing their conversation in her mind, the more she was convinced that she had unintentionally given Mr Bingley the wrong idea about Jane’s health.

Had this been enough to send him fleeing back to London?

She hoped not, but the timing was incredibly suspect.

What else could have induced him to leave Netherfield so precipitously?

No matter the truth of the situation, Elizabeth would never forgive him—or herself—for abandoning her sister in such a way.

Since Mr Bingley’s departure, Jane had been indisputably out of sorts.

Blessedly, she had not taken to her bed with fever, but she was sickly and cross even so.

She ate little, her complexion lacked brilliancy, and she complained of frequent headaches.

She could not bear loud noises, so she had avoided all the merrymaking of the season, refusing to so much as attend Christmas services with the family by pleading indisposition.

Presently, the Bennets and their Gardiner relations were toasting bread and cheese over the fire in the parlour.

Kitty and Lydia were assisting their little cousins, while Mary played Christmas carols on the instrument in the corner.

Mrs Bennet was complaining of how misused she was, while her father and uncle held a genial conversation between themselves.

Elizabeth had only just resumed her seat, having failed in drawing Jane into the gaiety, and began absently nibbling her thumb.

She was anxious anew over Jane’s preference for solitude but did her best to console herself that her sister would be more sociable soon.

It was perfectly natural to skulk in a dark corner when one had a headache, after all.

And the Gardiner children were taxing to her sensitive nerves, what with their animated chatter and frequent flights of silliness; Jane could not abide their general commotion.

To Elizabeth’s mind, they were preferable to the antics of their own younger sisters, but then Jane’s tolerance for anyone and everyone was rather thin of late.

“Lizzy? Are you well?”

Startled, Elizabeth tore her attention away from where Jane faded into the background of the scene and bestowed it upon Mrs Gardiner, who stood at her shoulder with a slight frown dipping the corners of her mouth.

Hastily dropping her hand into her lap, she replied, “Of course, Aunt. Why do you ask?”

“You only indulge in your thumb-chewing habit when you are anxious or upset,” she said, settling on the sofa next to her niece. “Also, I could not help but notice that your complexion is rather pale and there are dark circles under your eyes.”

Elizabeth attempted to laugh off her aunt’s observations. “Oh dear, I suppose my chances of attracting a husband are even lower now. It is a good thing that I do not particularly want one.”

“And now you are deflecting my concern with humour.”

Cringing, Elizabeth at last conceded, “Very well, you have caught me out. I am worried about Jane.”

“As are we all.” Mrs Gardiner patted Elizabeth’s hands, which were tangled together in a knot upon her knees.

“ Regardless, I shall say that this disappointment does not seem to be as severe as the last. Jane is obviously aggrieved, but I have yet to see any alarming symptoms that would suggest her health is in any danger. We may be thankful for that.”

“It is but a small mercy. Look at her! She is desolate without Mr Bingley.”

The pair of them jointly looked in Jane’s direction where she sat across the room, her face drawn in severe lines as she peered vacantly into the middle distance.

“I would say she appears more angry than forlorn,” Mrs Gardiner observed.

“And why should she not be angry? She was treated infamously!”

“Perhaps she was, but I do wonder at her lack of melancholy. If she truly cared for Mr Bingley, should she not also be lonely for his company?”

Elizabeth stiffened and frowned at her aunt. “It is not for us to decide how Jane ought to feel.”

Mrs Gardiner patted her hands again in a more placatory manner. “You are right, of course. None of us can see into the heart of another, so we should not judge them for what they may or may not be feeling.”

Some of the tension drained from Elizabeth’s shoulders at this admission. “If only we could see into the hearts of others, it would be far simpler to know whom we can trust. Presently, I am convinced that there is no gentleman out there worthy of it.”

“Now, now, it is not fair to paint every man with the same black brush. Jane has had some ill luck, I shall grant you, but Mr Wilbur and Mr Bingley are only two out of thousands. There are plenty of good men in the world—just look at your uncle.”

Mrs Gardiner smiled at her husband across the room where he sat with Mr Bennet. Mr Gardiner, upon catching her eye, returned it with a subtle wink. No one could doubt their affection for one another.

“I meant no slight to Uncle Gardiner, of course, and shall readily concede that he is everything good. Nevertheless, I am more convinced than ever that gentlemen of his ilk are a rarity and that the majority of them are not worth having, even in the instance that they would deign to honourably have us .”

“Lizzy, that is unfair.”

“Is it?” Elizabeth scoffed. “The more I see of the world, the more I am dissatisfied with it, and every day confirms my belief in the inconstancy of men. I have little dependence on either the merit or sense of any of them.”

Sighing, Mrs Gardiner said, “I suppose I cannot fault you for this bitter perception, given the tribulations you have witnessed, but I feel it my duty to caution you against it. You are far too young to give up on the notion of a happy life with a man you genuinely care for—as is Jane.”

Elizabeth shook her head and emitted a humourless laugh.

“You are wise as ever, but my examples of poor suitors far outweigh the good. It is difficult to believe that there is a man alive out there in the world who would not only suit me but treat me with care and consideration. No doubt he would break my heart instead.”

Mrs Gardiner was quiet for several seconds, her eyes roving the planes of Elizabeth’s face as if searching for something. “You speak as if you have experienced your own disappointment. ”

Mr Darcy’s face immediately floated to the surface of her mind, but she forced it away again.

Her cheeks burned as she denied, “Definitely not! I assure you, my censure is entirely for those reprobates masquerading as ‘gentlemen’, who think themselves entitled to trifle with Jane. I have no injuries of my own to resent.”

“If you say so,” replied Mrs Gardiner, though the lilt in her voice declared her unconvinced.

“It is true!” cried Elizabeth, more vehemently.

“I do hope you will come to me if you ever wish to speak of your difficulties, but until then let us put that topic aside. I am sorry Jane’s romance with Mr Bingley went off, but these things do happen from time to time.

A young man, such as you describe him, so easily falls in love with a pretty girl for a few weeks, and when accident separates them, easily forgets her.

Such inconstancies are sadly frequent, but there will be other opportunities. ”

“An excellent consolation in its way,” said Elizabeth, wringing her hands in her lap. She longed to indulge in her habit but constrained herself. “Unfortunately, it will not do for Jane. She does not suffer by accident. I…it is my fault that Mr Bingley went away.”

Mrs Gardiner’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Your fault? How could you possibly be responsible for what Mr Bingley has done?”

“I suppose I cannot be entirely sure that I am to blame, but…”

Elizabeth proceeded to describe her conversation with Mr Bingley to Mrs Gardiner, who listened intently. When she had finished, her aunt’s expression had transformed from nonplussed to severe, something her children had likely learnt to dread.

Although she expected a harsh scolding, Mrs Gardiner merely shook her head. “Oh, Lizzy. I know your heart was in the right place, but you had no right to put yourself in the middle of Jane’s affairs.”

Unable to resist her nervous habit after all, Elizabeth nibbled fretfully on the tip of her thumb. “So you do think I caused Jane’s heartbreak?”

“I would not go so far as that,” Mrs Gardiner replied.

“Remember, Mr Bingley is an independently wealthy young man and is likely used to making his own decisions. If he could not be bothered to determine the state of Jane’s health for himself, you cannot be blamed for that.

Chances are he was never very serious about her to begin with and, at most, used your misunderstanding as an excuse to leave.

Nevertheless, it is not your responsibility to make up his mind for him. ”

“No, I daresay he leaves that almost entirely to others.” When her aunt asked what she meant by that, Elizabeth continued, “He has admitted to being easily guided by the persuasions of his friends with minimal convincing. It is entirely possible that my interference was enough to frighten him off.”

“If that truly be the case, then I say Jane is better off without him.”

Elizabeth’s attention was grabbed by movement in the corner of her eye. She turned in her sister’s direction to find Jane rising from her seat. She swept from the room without bidding anyone goodnight, her pretty face soured by a scowl.

“Perhaps,” Elizabeth weakly conceded, “though I doubt Jane feels the same way. She was in love with him, no matter his faults.” After a pregnant pause in which her remorse swelled to crushing proportions, she asked, “Do you think I ought to tell Jane what I have done? ”

Mrs Gardiner tapped her chin thoughtfully.

“I cannot see what good it would do, especially since there is no proof that you are at all to blame for Mr Bingley’s actions.

For all we know, he was influenced by other concerns.

I still say that your caution, as you represented it, ought not to have been enough to affect the result of scaring him off.

Unless there is something you are not telling me. ”

“No, I have reported the conversation faithfully.”

“Then to tell Jane might only confuse and hurt her further. I am no proponent of deception, you know this, but when there is more harm than good in the truth, I cannot see the wisdom in communicating it.”

“But I feel so guilty!”

“You need not take so much upon yourself, Lizzy,” chided Mrs Gardiner, albeit with gentleness. “At worst, you have meddled where you were not wanted, but even there you ought not to hold yourself responsible for the actions of others. And Jane’s happiness is not your burden to carry.”

Elizabeth’s shoulders sank. “Even if that is so—which I in no way concede—Jane’s misery is my misery. I wish I could do something to lift her spirits.”

“If only it were that simple. But time heals all wounds, as they say. Time and distance.” After a moment, a notion seemed to strike Mrs Gardiner, for her face lit up.

“Do you think she would be prevailed upon to go back with us? A change of scene might be of service, and perhaps a little relief from home”—she inclined her head subtly towards Mrs Bennet, who was once again bemoaning Mr Bingley’s absence to the entire room—“may be as useful as anything.”

A spark of hope ignited in Elizabeth’s breast for the first time in many weeks. “Oh, that would be just the thing! I know how much she suffers here, being the foremost object of gossip in the neighbourhood. A reprieve would do her much good, I am sure.”

“With any luck, the tittle-tattle will have died down by the time she returns. I shall suggest the scheme to her in the morning. By the bye, my invitation includes you as well. You may deny any disappointment on your own behalf, but I know you would prefer to be with Jane. I have seen for myself that you grow anxious when you are apart for too long. And I know you would wish to escape your mother’s lamentations over Mr Collins. ”

Clapping her hands together, Elizabeth readily accepted.

Much as she loved her immediate family, there was nothing better than the comfort and care of the Gardiner household.

There, she and Jane would find much-needed respite from their woes and refresh their spirits.

Even if not, they would not be reminded constantly of faithless gentlemen, allowing time and distance to do their work. She could hardly wait to depart.