Page 78 of The Hallmarked Man (Cormoran Strike #8)

… all I want’s the thing

Settled for ever one way. As it is,

You tell too many lies and hurt yourself:

You don’t like what you only like too much,

You do like what, if given you at your word,

You find abundantly detestable.

Robert Browning Fra Lippo Lippi

‘Hello?’

‘It’s me. Strike.’

‘Oh, thank God,’ said Bijou. ‘Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to have to drag you into this, but—’

‘I know about the super-injunction. I know he thinks it’s my kid.’

‘Wh – how?’

‘Because people have been fucking gossiping,’ said Strike, ‘exactly as you intended them to when you were trying to make Honbold jealous enough to leave his wife.’

‘You don’t underst—’

‘Don’t you dare fucking tell me I don’t understand,’ said Strike, his temper barely under control now he heard her loud, husky voice again, because it reminded him of the tedious hours he’d spent in her company, all in the service of two easy fucks, and of his own stupidity.

‘Now, listen to me. He’s having you followed. ’

‘ Andrew is?’

‘Who else?’ said Strike, keeping his voice low with difficulty, because a hardy middle-aged couple had now, most inconveniently, decided to brave the cold and sit at the next table.

Abandoning his coffee, Strike got to his feet, shoved his vape pen back into his coat pocket and headed off in the direction of Denmark Street.

‘So there can’t be any face-to-face meetings between us, if that’s what you were calling to suggest.’

‘Oh God, oh God,’ moaned Bijou. ‘What does the person following me look like?’

‘How the fuck do I know? I’m just warning you, you need to live like an agoraphobic nun from now until you get the DNA test results.’

‘Andrew’s refusing to do a test! He’s convinced she’s yours!’

‘And she’s not?’

‘Of course she’s not!’

‘You’re sure about that?’

‘Yes, of course I am!’

‘Because since we last met, I’ve been filled in on an unpleasant bedroom habit of yours,’ said Strike mercilessly.

‘What d’you—?’

‘Used condoms. Bedroom bin. Do-It-Yourself.’

‘I never— ’

‘That’s not what my source says, and I’m afraid I find them a lot more credible than you. I’ve also heard Honbold might have good reason to think he can’t get a woman pregnant.’

‘You mean the sulfasalazine? That only lowers sperm count, it doesn’t make you infertile !’

‘If,’ said Strike, ‘you deliberately got pregnant by me, because Honbold was firing blanks and you thought you’d be able to convince him the kid was his—’

‘ What do you think I am? ’

‘I know exactly what you are, which is why we’re having this fucking conversation. I warned you when you dragged me into your mess last time, I won’t take it lying down if this causes me even more fucking grief than it has already.’

‘You’re threatening a new mother!’ said Bijou shrilly. ‘How will that play in the press?’

‘You go to the press, I’ll be fighting fire with fucking nukes, so don’t you dare threaten me with the fucking papers. Honbold’s got to take a paternity test—’

‘He says he won’t do it unless I take him to court! He’s so angry – Cormoran, please, please , I need you to do it, so I can prove Ottolie’s his—’

‘Will I fuck,’ said Strike, incensed. ‘That implies I think I might be the fucking father, and when word of that leaks out—’

‘How would it leak out?’

‘Probably from you, because you tell everyone every-fucking-thing, you can’t keep your fucking mouth shut even when it’s in your own best interests. If you tell Honbold I’m giving a DNA sample, his every fucking suspicion will be confirmed—’

‘It won’t, it won’t, I’ll tell him you’re only doing it to prove you’re not the—’

‘Unless you’re lying, unless you think the kid might be mine, you don’t need my DNA. Tell Honbold you’ll take him to court if necessary and see how his fucking super-injunction holds up then.’

‘But if I do that, he’ll never— ’

‘Marry you? You still think you’re going to be Mrs Andrew Honbold, after this? Tell him you’ll see him in court, and leave me the fuck out of it. ’

Seething, Strike cut the call.