Page 10 of The Guilty Girl

She watched as he picked one of the pills from his palm and swallowed it.

‘Look, I’m not frothing at the mouth and my eyes aren’t bulging out of my head.’

‘I can’t,’ she said, dubiously. ‘I need water or something.’

‘Well get some then.’

She went over to Jake.

‘Hey, the girl who doesn’t drink,’ he said. ‘I found a bottle of Coke in the kitchen.’ He took the bottle from under the table, uncapped it and poured Coke into a plastic cup.

Taking it, Hannah went back to Cormac. ‘This night is totally shit.’

‘Try one. It’ll make it better.’

Was she really about to do this? To take drugs when she was anti anything that made you lose control? ‘Are you sure one won’t hurt?’

‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’ He grinned widely and opened out his palm.

She looked at the pill for a moment, then took it from him. ‘I’ll keep it for later.’

‘You’re staying so?’

‘For a while. Maybe.’

She put the little pill into the hidden pocket in her skirt. Noticing a notification on her phone screen, she tapped it open and almost let the cup fall from her other hand.

‘I’m going to kill her. I swear to God, I’m going to fucking kill her.’

* * *

Lucy watched Hannah and Cormac from outside the patio doors, a slow smile sliding across her face. She glanced over at Jake in the corner. He gave her a thumbs-up. Richie the DJ was grinning at her like a Cheshire cat. His long dark hair was tied in a knot at the neck of his shiny red shirt. A string of coloured beads hung low on his chest. He looked like an ageing hippy, though she supposed he was only in his thirties. He gave her a sultry eye, then licked his finger and held it up to her. She giggled as a warm feeling flooded her abdomen.

‘Later,’ she mouthed, and turned to watch Hannah staring at her phone. The night was getting better by the minute. And she was about to make it totally awesome. She scrolled through her recent photos and got ready to hit send.

Ivy tottered up to her. ‘Can I borrow your phone for a second? I need to take a selfie. Can’t find mine.’

‘Sure.’ Lucy sipped her drink and watched Hannah and that mutt Cormac get close.

What she was doing was cruel, but it was the only way she knew to attract attention.

Someone had to suffer to get her noticed.

* * *

The kid on the bike leaned against a tree. He’d seen Jake arrive earlier in the ugly blue car. Jake was now their main guy to push the pills, and even though he’d been slow to take to it in the beginning, he was now fully committed. Money appealed to Jake Flood.

What would Sharon think of her big brother if she knew what he was at? The kid sniggered into his hand. Everyone thought Jake was pure as the driven snow, but he knew different.

He settled under the branches, lush with leaves, where he was sure no one could see him. It was going to be a long night. He didn’t want to mess up and he had to make sure Jake didn’t either. That was his job. Watch and report back. He was good at it too.

* * *

I watch everyone. Taking note of all around me.

No one even notices me for who I really am when I’m in my transformed state. That was always the way.

I could stand in a brightly lit room and still the eyes would not be on me. Once upon a time it didn’t bother me. Now, though, I feel personally affronted by the lack of acknowledgement. I am the reason they fulfil their youthful ambitions. I think of myself as a magpie.