Page 14 of The Governess’s Absolutely Impossible Wish (The Notorious Briarwoods #8)

E very day had been better than their last.

Each rehearsal had been a playful exchange of fun, and the children had been the best students. It hadn’t mattered that they hadn’t been able to go outside barely at all. No, it had not mattered that the cold rain had slashed down upon the castle.

Instead of being sorrowful about it, Giselle had decided to tell the children that they must create a marvelous story about how lucky they were to be marooned in such a place.

And she and the children had sat about the fire and told a glorious story of knights and their ladies and a magical court all locked away in this castle.

Simply by changing how they saw staying inside had altered everything. There was almost no moping. Instead, they saw dragons around every corner. And Portia loved turning into a wizard, putting spells on all of the statues in the halls.

The play rehearsals and work on the play were their favorite parts of the day.

How she adored the children and how they adored working on the play. They had become the silliest, most marvelous, most happy creatures, and she was silly and marvelous and happy with them.

The dancing up and down the hallways, as they practiced their fairy marches, had caused her to giggle hysterically on more than one attempt.

Tonight, with all the guests arriving, little Portia had decorated Giselle’s hair with flowers.

Estella had dressed her in the Grecian fashion. The gown was a little bit shocking, but she was playing a character after all, so it was just fine. She felt extremely nervous. Why shouldn’t she? She had not been on the stage, so to speak, since she was a small girl, but this was not an actual performance.

This was an intimate affair for friends, quite a few friends, and she was going to be family soon. She could hardly believe it. The next day, she was going to marry Zephyr, and she loved him, all of him, every part of him. He didn’t seem to truly understand that yet, but she knew that she could help him see it. How grateful she was that soon she would be able to show him every day that he could just be himself with her.

He did not have to perform for her or try to convince her that he was all right or well. It was his lack of perfection that made him actually perfect in her eyes. The way that he loved everyone for who they were, all of his family, all of his nieces and nephews.

Giselle knelt down to Portia, and Portia beamed up at her, gently touching the flowers in her hair.

“You look like a princess,” Portia said, her bright eyes shining.

“Thank you, Portia,” she said, giving the little girl a hug that warmed both of their hearts. “I appreciate you helping to make these silk flowers.”

And Portia had.

Together they had worked with fabric, cutting out pieces and then stitching them together. Portia was a wonder. Portia saw the world magically, as all children did, and could and would if they were but allowed.

Giselle beamed down at the girl who would soon be her niece, and then Octavian and Maximus ran into the room cheering and shouting, their fairy wings bouncing behind them.

“Come, we must take her into the forest,” cried Maximus.

Octavian, wielding a particularly beautiful, bright, and outrageous fake flower announced, “We must put her to sleep so that she can awaken into a fairy wonderland.”

Realizing what she was supposed to do in this game, she offered up her face to him.

Octavian took his flower and touched her eyelids.

And as she knew she was expected to do, she gave a dramatic sigh, then tumbled backward onto the ground and fell asleep.

The children giggled and clapped. “She is asleep. It worked,” Octavian announced.

“Of course, it worked,” Maximus said quite seriously.

Portia whispered, “She is pretending.”

“Of course, she is pretending,” Octavian said. “We are actors.”

“Our entire family is a bunch of actors,” said Maximus.

“Especially my mother,” said Portia.

Giselle peeked at them, enjoying their discussions as their younger cousins came into the room with the nursemaid.

And then Octavian said, “Arise, fair princess, for you are now in fairy land.”

She blinked and stretched her arms. “Oh, my fairy king,” she said.

“I am not the king,” Octavian countered. “I am but one of his helpers. His best helper.”

She gave a look of being greatly awed. “Well, thank you for awakening me to your fairy kingdom.”

And she had been, in a way.

This new life she was in? It might not be a fairy kingdom, but it was a place of far more hope and love than she could have ever imagined.

“It is time,” Estella called from the door, clapping her hands together. “The performance is about to start. Everyone is ready!”

Giselle lifted her hand to her throat, feeling her stomach begin to twist about. She had been waiting for this moment for quite some time now. Giving herself over to it had been shockingly easy.

Once she had chosen Zephyr, she had decided to forget all her old life, to forget all the old rules. Because she had known for a long time, even if she hadn’t wanted to admit it, that life was about change, and it could change in a moment.

It had certainly changed with the death of her mother, and now she knew her life had changed again with the meeting of Zephyr. And their love.

“Come,” the children whispered, taking her hands.

Then they slipped out through the corridor to linger by the entry to the long hall.

There was a din. A veritable crowd had come, and she swayed.

“How many people are out there?”

“You don’t want to know,” Estella said with a wink. “Better that you don’t guess, but it is quite a guest list, so don’t be surprised.”

She blinked and suddenly her stomach twisted hard.

Estella beamed at her. “You’re going to be simply magnificent.”

Ajax and Winifred bounded hand in hand into the corridor behind them.

“You aren’t supposed to look so loving,” Estella pointed out.

“We can’t help it just now,” Ajax and Winifred said, gazing at each other adoringly.

“But never fear, we shall go on as absolute enemies to start with,” Ajax said, looking so in love that it was hard not to stare.

“Not I,” countered Winifred. “I’m supposed to be head over and heels in love with him, scoundrel that he is in the play!”

Ajax swept Winifred into his arms, tilted her backwards, and then kissed her.

“You’ll ruin her makeup,” Estella cried.

Ajax paused the passionate kiss. “I don’t care,” he said.

Giselle stared at the couple and her heart leapt with amazement at all that unapologetic love.

That was herself and Zephyr.

It was going to be them in years to come too. She need not fear anymore that it would all be stolen and taken away from her. No, she was going to trust that it would all work out, that everything was going as it should. She could trust Zephyr. Truly, he wasn’t going to betray her.

And then she heard the dowager duchess upon the stage in the long hall speaking to all the guests. There was a round of applause and then the play began.

Before Giselle knew what was happening, Zephyr was at her side, looking down at her with such love. She beamed up at him and then they were rushed out on the stage.

As the audience stared at them, her hands began to shake, but Zephyr did not let go.

He held her carefully, tightly, and as the play’s plot began to advance, she felt more and more secure. She glanced out to the audience and spotted Miss Abelard, her teacher. But Miss Abelard did not look pleased. Miss Abelard looked horrified.

For a moment, Giselle could not speak. She could not move. Her palms broke out in the most terrible of cold sweats. Her heart shuddered, her stomach twisted, and she felt as if she might sink into the stage floor.

It did not matter that they were surrounded by all the Briarwoods making antics in the various parts of the play. It did not matter that the warm glow of lanterns had been placed at the stage’s edge. It did not matter that a sea of faces were staring approvingly, applauding and laughing at her, at all of them, as they performed.

No, she could only see that single face, that single look of disapproval, and she knew in that moment that this was the cost of it all. This was the cost of breaking her vow, of choosing something different, of daring to want more. She had disappointed Miss Abelard, and she now had to face it.

The scene came to an end, and she dashed off the stage, hurrying to the adjacent room.

Her face was hot, and she felt the world spin. For a moment, she longed to run into the cold night, throw herself on the mercy of the darkness, and somehow escape the shame that washed through her. She should not feel shame. She had done nothing wrong. She was to be married tomorrow. She was loved, truly loved for the first time in her life, and she loved in turn.

Yet, she could not stop the voice in her head that punished her for letting down the woman who had saved her when no one else would take her in.

Zephyr followed her. “My love, what is it? Are you unwell?”

“I don’t know if I can go back on,” she managed, her hands curling into fists.

The idea was clearly shocking to him. “In the theater, we always go on, my love,” he said, something he’d clearly heard since childhood. “It will ruin the entire play if you don’t.”

She nodded. “I understand.”

His face paled and he reached for her. “But if you are unwell, of course, I will take you away. I’m sure we can find someone to fill your part.”

Take her away. And find someone else…

Would she allow that? Would she run? Run from her new family and from love? Just because of one disapproving look?

Giselle turned to him slowly. “And let someone else be the love of your life on stage? I do not think so,” she said boldly.

And even as her palms sweated, and even as her body shuddered with fear at the reckoning with Miss Abelard, she gazed up into her soon-to-be husband’s eyes and she knew.

She knew with every fiber of her being that she was not alone and she never would be. And she wouldn’t let him down by fleeing, for he, her grand, strong Zephyr? He had battles of his own to face.

She would not allow him to face them alone. Not even on stage.

When it came time for them to make their entrance together again, as the play called for, she seized his hand and she dared to go out in front of the audience and Miss Abelard so they could behold how bold she had become.