Page 20 of The Good Neighbour

“Nice,” he said. “I had great plans of what to do with mine when I first moved in. You know how it is, life gets in the way.”

Stop babbling, idiot.

Hugh rummaged in a drawer and pulled out some light blue cotton pyjamas.

“Here,” he said, throwing them to Josh. “Hurry up and get changed. I’ve got plans for you.”

Half an hour later a giggling Josh was trying to drink champagne whilst wearing what appeared to be plastic bags on his hands.

“Don’t laugh,” Hugh urged. “You’ll crack your face.”

Once he’d come out of the bathroom, Josh had been pounced on by Hugh who had proceeded to pile all sorts of goo on his face and in his hair before slapping these mitts on him.

“What do these do again?”

“Soften your hands.”

“Do I need soft hands?”

Hugh took a sip of his champagne. “I do. It’s an occupational hazard. Sausage fingers are a no-no with fake diamonds.”

They were sitting side by side on the floor against the wardrobes.

“You haven’t said much about your work,” Josh said.

Hugh flinched. “Bit of a sore point at the moment.”

Josh realised that Hugh had his own personal troubles and Josh had not once showed any concern.

“You can talk to me.”

Hugh sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve worked for almost twenty years perfecting my act. To be called out like that on national television. Bigger careers than mine have been runed.”

Josh frowned, causing a lump of unidentified substance to fall off.

“Hey,” Hugh said. “Keep the facial expressions to a minimum, please.”

“Go on.”

“Me and Michael were talking earlier. What we need are new characters. We’ll do the tour as a farewell and rebirth. They will have to be bloody shit-hot.”

That was quite the gamble. After the furore of the chat show, all eyes would be on them. He admired their balls.

“Any ideas?”

A wry smile crept on Hugh’s face, causing a miniature landslide.

“Ha!” Josh exclaimed. “Broke you.”

“Curses,” Hugh replied before throwing the lump at Josh. “In answer to your question, I’ve got an idea. I think it’s best kept to myself for now.”

“Intriguing.”

Hugh laughed, causing more of his face pack to dislodge.

“I think it’s time we got this shit off.”

Josh opened his eyes. For a second, he panicked that he wasn’t in his own bed. Then he remembered where he was.