Page 2 of The Good Girl
Chapter One
LITTLE BOLLINGTON, CHESHIRE
Julia sat in the back seat of the car, tucked out of sight of the driver, using the headrest as camouflage.
The window was open a few centimetres, cooling her skin and fighting off the claustrophobia that was creeping over her.
It was happening a lot lately, whenever Shane was in the vicinity, his presence the catalyst no matter how big the space.
The conference room at work, the spacious open-plan kitchen at home, the restaurant where they had just eaten, and now the car.
Trapped. That was what he made her feel.
Close proximity to her husband induced turmoil that ignited the telltale flush that would creep upwards to her face, making her self-conscious and heightening her anxiety. Fumbling, mumbling an excuse to leave the room. Seeking sanctuary away from the trigger.
Her colleagues, if they noticed, probably put it down to the time of bloody life.
But on this occasion she was desperately trying to hide her discomfort from her daughter, Dee.
Her fifteen-year-old, who was seated beside her and thankfully tapping away on her phone hadn’t noticed her mother’s frequent, shallow inhales as she silently sucked in air.
Had no clue that the interior panels of the roomy 4x4 were closing in and the roof was about to squish her head flat and pulverise her brain while her lungs shrivelled and caved in on themselves.
Breathe, just breathe. Slow it all down. Don’t panic.
Outside it was a sunny spring day but for Julia it felt like the middle of winter.
Her secret shame, aka her online therapist, had told her not to label herself as an anxious person.
Instead, accept that anxiety affected her, but it didn’t define her and, like clouds, it would arrive then blow away.
To be fair, he was right and when she was around the girls or behind the barrier of her desk in her office in another part of the building to Shane, the clouds rarely gathered.
But when they did, they were black and brooding, the type you’d see in a horror movie, malevolent, rolling in and laden with rain.
They were there right now, bringing her low, making her even more determined to escape them and the life that was gradually smothering her.
Julia knew why anxiety was gripping her. She wanted to be away from Shane so badly, in every sense. Wanted him out of her home and her life, her company and her brain.
In the restaurant, she’d prayed for the meal that had taken an age to be served and then savoured, to be over.
For the journey to the airport not to be impeded by roadworks and dawdling drivers.
And now an end to the torture was in sight because once she was at the drop-off point and her suitcase was in her hand she’d be fine, just seconds away from saying goodbye and escaping him.
She could see the terminal up ahead so focused on that whilst studiously avoiding the sight of her eldest daughter, Molly.
Julia hadn’t the patience for dramas, not today.
Seated in the front, arms folded in defiance, upper body turned to face the passenger window, Molly was doing a fine job of radiating her displeasure at the situation.
She’d made a family lunch even more excruciating, something Julia hadn’t thought possible in her current frame of mind.
Yes, Moody Molly was on top form and was behaving like a petulant ten-year-old, not someone who had recently come of age.
Shane, in the driver’s seat was, as always, playing the peacekeeper and had suggested lunch at their favourite gastropub before the airport run.
Dee had been thrilled and despite being aware Julia and Shane were going through a rough patch – separate bedrooms were a major giveaway – she still believed in happy-ever-afters.
Julia had wanted to scream out loud that sticky toffee pudding was not going to glue them back together, no matter how much Dee coveted being part of a happy family. Instead she’d raged inside her head as she picked at a fancy salad.
True to form, Shane, who thought that the gift of the gab, good looks and perseverance were the key to success, decided to try his magic on the moody one in the passenger seat.
As if to prove the point, Julia watched as he gave Molly a nudge and eased straight into his grating, jolly-stepdad routine.
‘Hey, smiler, how about after we drop Mum and Dee off, we head to the cinema, my treat, your choice. Then later, we can get a few drinks in The Lamb, seeing as you’re legal now and won’t get us barred for life by Roger.’
Without turning her head Molly replied, ‘I’d rather be going to France to see Gran and Granddad, thanks, and seriously, as if I’d chance being seen in the saddest pub in the village with my stepdad on a Saturday night.
Talk about social suicide. I’ll do as mother ship bids instead and crack on with my revision like a good girl. ’
At that, Julia tutted, pressed the button in the door and lowered the window right down, not caring if it fucked up her blow-dry and pissed Dee off.
After sucking in warm, April air and car fumes she summoned the strength needed to appease her eldest. ‘Molly, you know I’m right about the revision and it’s not like this trip is going to be fun.
I’ll be visiting Granddad in the hospital every day and trying to keep Gran calm, and once I know he’s okay, I’ll be home.
I do have a company to run so try to remember I’ll be juggling a lot of balls from my laptop.
So please, don’t make this more difficult than it already is. ’
‘Oh, so you can work but I couldn’t possibly revise from my laptop? And it’s so unfair, Mum, because I want to see Aunty Nancy. It’s been ages and I miss her.’ If Molly had made this argument once she’d made it a thousand times but it still fell on deaf ears.
‘You’ve got revision classes at school that are far more important than seeing Nancy, and that’s that.’ At the mention of her sister’s name, Julia glanced nervously at the rear-view mirror where Shane’s eyes stared straight into hers, fixing her in place for a second before she looked away.
Dee piped up next. ‘Don’t worry, Molls, I’ll FaceTime you every day if you want and get Aunty Nancy to say hi, and I’ll bring you a pressie from duty free.’
Julia’s heart melted at Dee’s words and she stared at the back of Molly’s head, willing her to say something nice otherwise she might just snap and give her a slap.
Molly was really acting up and it was seriously stressing her out, more so because she was usually so easy-going and understanding.
Then again, since the day she turned sixteen there’d been a shift in their relationship.
They’d gone from being best friends to ‘mother and teenage daughter who thinks she’s all grown up. ’
Julia had accepted that, because what was it they said? Something about not being best friends with your kids, that they needed a parent to guide them, not a buddy.
Dee, however, was a complicated mash-up of the two.
A serious child, tricky at times, emotional and often fragile so needed gentle handling.
Which was why it was better to take her on the trip rather than leave her at home, overthinking how poorly her granddad was and imagining all sorts of doom-ridden scenarios.
Dee was obsessed with Dr Google and over the years had self-diagnosed all sorts of grim illnesses so Julia knew it was best for her to see her granddad with her own eyes.
He’d had a mild heart attack, not triple bypass surgery.
Molly, also aware of her sister’s foibles, thankfully responded kindly. ‘That’s so sweet, Dee, but I’m fine. Treat yourself to something nice instead and just ask Nancy to FaceTime, I’d like that.’
Again, the mention of her sister’s name caused a spike of tension and Julia’s eyes automatically sought Shane’s. The steel-eyed glare she received in the mirror spoke volumes.
Nancy couldn’t abide Shane and the feeling was mutual.
The day she found out Julia was seeing him, a man ten years her junior, their once unbreakable sister-bond had splintered.
Then Julia married him, despite Nancy’s warnings and twelfth-hour pleading, and their relationship would never be the same again.
They maintained polite contact for the sake of their parents and particularly Molly and Dee who adored their aunt and – for this Julia was thankful – they believed that Nancy’s busy life and career in Canada was the reason she didn’t visit anymore.
In truth, the past seven years had been torture for Julia who missed her twin like a limb and that fact, on top of everything else, made her regret her stupid choices and despise everything about Shane.
Hating him had become a 24/7 full-time occupation.
He was a bone-idle cheat who had been holding her to ransom for the past three years and she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life fearing him.
Finally, seeing a gap in the line of vehicles at the drop-off point, respite was in her grasp so not wanting to waste a second, Julia grabbed her handbag and gave Dee a nudge. ‘Come on, we have to be quick so put your phone in your rucksack, chop-chop.’
Seconds later they were out of the car. Shane had gallantly removed their cases from the boot and was hugging Dee goodbye, giving her fatherly advice about looking after her mum and being a good girl.
Julia focused her attention on Molly who had remained in her seat but at least managed a smile and a few less petulant words.
‘I’m sorry for being a grump, Mum. Give my love to the crinkly Gs and tell them I’ll see them as soon as my exams are done, and… take care, okay. I’ll be fine with Super stepdad Shane.’ Molly did jazz hands and rolled her eyes, both managing a chuckle at Shane’s expense.
‘It’s okay, love, and I get it, I really do but I want you to ace your exams then the world’s your oyster, and you can spend as much time as you want in Antibes with Gran and Granddad, I promise.
If there’s anything you need just ask Magda or ring me.
I’m only a call away, just remember that.
’ Knowing that their housekeeper and one of Julia’s oldest friends would be around to keep an eye on Molly and, unfortunately, her serial philandering husband, made it a lot easier to say goodbye.
Which was why, after leaning in and pecking Molly on the cheek and avoiding Shane altogether, she grabbed the handle of her wheelie case, summoned Dee, then turned and marched straight into the terminal.
With each step she took, her body relaxed and her breathing and heart rate began to return to normal. And while she asked God to forgive her, she also thanked him for her dad’s ‘mild episode’ that she’d pitched to Shane as a full-blown heart attack.
Without looking back when she heard the angry roar of an engine as it sped away from the terminal, Julia headed straight for check-in and the first-class lounge, a very large G&T, and a few days of freedom.