Page 7 of The Good Char (Soul Taker)

My probation demon, Zychor, laughed. Chitter chatters of sprites fading in and out around us added to his disgusting, teasing voice.

He was a tall, bony looking creature with curved horns and a grotesque face only a mother could love—except for the fact that he didn’t have a mother.

I didn’t blame the universe one bit. Nothing wanted to claim that thing came out of their womb.

“It’s Dzik, you fool. You already know I'm here for my normal pick up,” I snarled.

His smile grew wider, showcasing rows of sharp fangs. I never did like the bastard. The authority he had over my punishment added to the inflated ego he already sported, expanding his inhuman head into a warped shape.

As if he knew what I was thinking, a long tongue snaked out and flickered in my direction.

My hands itched to rip it out of his skull when better company came toward us with a giant grin. Belchar was a demon of adultery and one of the few I got along with well.

“You know the master still wants to kill you, right?” he teased.

“I made one little mistake,” I grumbled and ran a hand down my face, needing to complete my allotted task before having to return to the realm of men.

“A soul escaped under my watch and they were revived somehow, following some of the sprites back to the other side. My bladder threatened to rip me open and I answered its call. It wasn’t my fault they escaped, and the master is still charging me with that shit.

Plus, I've been in the human realm for one measly soul—and the guy died a week later!”

Crossing my arms, my claws extended and I was tempted to score my flesh suit in agitation when one of the sprites chitter chattered and poofed in front of me, pointing an accusatory finger at my face.

I grabbed its neck and kicked it back into the flames licking up the side of one of the mountain walls nearby.

The sprite splattered against the surface into black goo, sliding down to the ground before reforming into a cackling being once more.

“Yeah, but he went up above,” Belchar needlessly reminded me, pointing his finger upward with a twist of his face. To think that I thought he was on my side. “ That’s why the master’s pissed off.”

“Right, right,” I humored him, glaring in his direction.

He threw his head back and let out a booming laugh, holding his stomach while I continued.

“Who would’ve thought he would do so much good and get to go up there .

” I pointed upward with a disgusted look.

“But enough of all this blabbering. My time here is nearly up and I will be back home soon enough, doing what I normally do—torturing human souls with the rest of you lot.”

“Aren’t you torturing them now? I mean you are in the human realm…where all the humans come from?” Belchar questioned with a confused look on his beast-like face. His tusks and half sloughed off skin wrinkled as he gave me another wide grin, holding back his laugh.

“Do you have any idea of the torment I am under?” I gritted out.

“Do you even want to know what I'm doing? I’m feeding them, that’s what I'm doing. But because I’m a demon and enjoy being evil, I’m feeding them human flesh from the underworld which I then turned into breaded weiners dipped in their own vat of torture. ”

An awkward pregnant pause passed between us before the two demons in front of me fell over each other laughing, slapping each other’s heads like imbeciles.

It really wasn’t that funny.

“T-They’re eating human flesh?” Zychor snorted.

I began to laugh with them the moment sprites popped onto their shoulders and fell to the ground from cackling in their chitter chatters. I lost my own breath while slapping my knees, the humor in the moment too much to overcome. Humans were fools.

“Yes, well,” I slowed down to a chuckle and caught my breath. “It is kind of funny and ironic that humans will pretty much eat fried anything. Especially the ones that come to my counter.”

Belchar rolled his eyes once he got a hold of himself. “So, you’re feeding humans. That’s so dastardly , Dzik,” he snickered.

When my punishment was over, I was going to rip his arm off and shove it in his gaping maw.

“I’ll have you know I have done extraordinarily bad things since I’ve been gone!

” I snapped, my tail whipping about angrily having torn through the back of my flesh suit.

“I have done horrible things since I left, things that would make your skin crawl.”

One of the mountains in the distance roared as it erupted, sending volcanic ash into the air for an added dramatic flare to the moment.

“Oh, do tell,” piped in Zychor. “Tell us all the bad you’ve done since you’ve been in the other realm.”

I sputtered and then cleared my throat, my hands on my hips with my chest puffed. “I randomly break parking meters! I have single handedly jaywalked several times and, not to mention, told a police officer a drug deal was going to happen.”

All laughter around us ceased before it started anew, aggravatingly louder this time around. My head felt hot from the flush beneath my skin and I bared my teeth at the sprites, grabbing the closest one and throwing it to channel my anger.

“Hey, imbecile,” Belchar choked out. “That’s a good deed. And you breaking the parking meter gave them all the time they needed, it saved them from getting a ticket.”

Zychor fell, laughing so hard his horns got lodged in the dry, cracked ground. Sprites began to appear on his chest, dancing and laughing with him like a bunch of monkeys in a human circus.

“And about that jaywalk thing. We heard all about it,” Belchar continued.

“That guy that swerved around you, missing you after almost killing you? He was supposed to have an accident right up the street from where you walked because he was drunk. But instead, he pulled over and fell asleep and no one was harmed. Great job demoning .”

Belchar shook his head in utter disappointment and I felt my shoulders slouch as Zychor got back on his feet, dusting himself off and shaking his head in my direction as well.

“Your demon card is about to be pulled,” Zychor chortled. “I hear angels are accepting applications.”

Leaving the two bastards behind me, I stomped my way into the mountainside, weaving through the tunnels until I came upon the chamber I was looking for.

“Blasted ingrates. I’ll show them,” I mumbled under my breath.

In the far dark corners, shadows covered most of the crates, filled with products, waiting for me.

The master hadn’t yet caught wind of my little arrangement with the demon of iniquity.

As long as we kept our tight schedule and our mouths shut, he wouldn’t ever have to know. He was a busy man after all.

Ignoring the earlier annoyance, I rolled my shoulder and made my way toward them when I caught sight of a familiar face from my periphery.

My former employee, Daniel.

All the souls around us cried out for mercy as Melkgard continued humming a tune, chopping on his table.

“All your shipments should be ready, Dzik,” he laughed as he slammed down his blade once more with a loud thud. One of the fingers slipped and rolled onto the floor beside his hind leg, leaving a trail of red.

I nodded in acknowledgement despite him keeping his back to me.

“Dzik!” one of the souls cried out as I performed ergonomically sound human body mechanics before lifting the first crate. I needed to keep chances of injuries down if I was to move all these crates efficiently.

“Dzik!” I looked over my shoulder to see Daniel, reaching his arm through his cage, his face distorted in anger. "Why didn’t you tell me that you were a demon? I was a great employee, wasn’t I? How could you let this happen? Let me out of here, please, Mr. Dzik!”

“Silence, human!” I snap, straightening out my knees.

“It wasn’t my fault that your stupidity led you to fall into the vortex.

Now, you’ll be trapped here in the underworld forever, especially around the likes of Melkgard.

Plus, you were a thief, stealing not only from me but from your dead mother and you cheated on your girlfriend.

By the way, from what I’ve seen, she’s moved on to someone much better looking than you,” I laughed hysterically.

See. I could be evil when I wanted to , I mentally patted myself on the back since my arms were currently occupied.

On my third round of moving boxes, Melkgard finally turned around, his distended, five arm body comically wrapped beneath a midnight blue apron. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion at the familiar fabric. He ignored my glare.

“Here you are, your last box of human parts. I hope they enjoy them,” he gleefully chimed with a wicked smile.

I ignored his dripping maw and brought the last of the boxes outside the mountain where Zychor stood waiting. “Look at you. You’ve been working out, have you? Last I remember, you could barely hold onto the soul that got away,” he roared in laughter.

My tail whipped in the direction of his face but he quickly ducked.

“You should visit more often, Dzik! Oh wait, you can’t,” he howled. “You can only visit once a week! Master’s orders and all.”

“Goodbye, Zychor,” I mumbled under my breath before I reopened the portal and jumped through again and again with each crate, one at a time.

When the final crate was placed in the back room, I no longer heard the screams of torments or felt the flames of home.

Any scraps of happiness I felt dissipated like the portal—into thin air.

Time moved differently in the other realm.

By the time I stacked the crates in the farthest corner of the room and re-emerged at the front of The Good Char, the only screams I heard were the cackles of teenagers and the only boils I saw were the pimples of these hormone-filled gangling humans.

Why, me? Why?

The master knew exactly what he was doing when he exiled me here for my punishment. I pulled up a folding chair to the counter, sat my flesh suit down and slammed my forehead on the counter with a sad groan, resigned to my fate.

“Hey, sir?” a squeaky voice floated from in front of me. “Are you open? I want a corndog.”