Page 24 of The Gods We Defy (All Gods Must Die #2)
CHAPTER 24
M y time is taken from me once more, my plans to search for the green stone ruined when the queen decides to hold a banquet the night before the second trial. All chosen are requested to join. We are not allowed to miss it.
I should be down searching those three hallways and whatever rooms are along them. But instead, I’m in the great hall where an elaborate feast is being held.
All chosen are still wearing their normal attire and masks. While some of the fae that must live here are wearing more formal clothing.
Among them is Vidarr. He’s sitting at the head of the main table, while the rest of the guests and chosen are sitting along the three other tables lining the hall.
I find Yasmin’s and Indira’s silver masks at the rightmost table and make my way over.
They’ve chosen an inconspicuous spot close to the doors. I can slip out when the feast gets loud and chaotic.
“To our possible end.” Indira raises her glass and waits for me to do the same. We can’t technically drink them with our masks on unless we lift them discreetly, like some of the chosen I catch, so we place the wine back on the table. Besides, I wouldn’t trust any of the drinks or food here. Even if it does smell amazing. Something somewhere is most likely poisoned.
“That’s… morbid,” Hael frowns, replying to Indira. “We could’ve died in the first trial or that stupid competition, but we’re still here.”
“True.” Indira nods. “But something about this next one has me worried. A feeling that is telling me it’s going to be much worse.”
Her ominous feeling wraps around me as my doubts about the next trial percolate.
The second trial is to take place up in the large landscape of mountains on the opposite side of Túr Rí where there is no snow. All chosen must travel on foot through the mountain to the Burren to reach the mountain of monsters where the gold ore is to be found.
It’s not the traveling or landscape that has me worried, but the poisonous plants and creatures I was told lie inside the Burren. Along with the lava pits and moving rocks and boulders, we also need to worry about the monsters in the mountains and the enormous snake that can send out its illusions into the Burren and beyond.
I thought the cave was a challenge, but I think I’m going to soon learn the real meaning of the word.
The queen and her entourage enter the room and take their seats, distracting me from my worries.
Kestral follows in behind them and takes his place directly beside his mother. As if he senses my eyes on him, his gaze finds mine. But he is stone faced again, his eyes cold and blank before looking away.
Something inside me tightens. Tightens and cracks.
I rub my chest as if trying to rub away the invisible pain forming inside me.
The queen calls for attention. “I have an announcement to make.” She smiles over at Kestral and the beauty beside him I didn’t notice. “I’m delighted to inform you of the betrothal between my son and his love, Nathaira.”
Cheers ring out around me, but all I can hear is a high-pitched ringing.
My heart thunders in my chest as he turns and smiles at her. Nathaira is stunning. I hadn’t even noticed her when she’d walked in with him. Her long brown hair shimmers in the light as she leans over and places a kiss on his cheek. I feel numb.
I try to focus on Yasmin, Indira, and Hael as they avoid eating or drinking, not realizing I am completely stuck in my mind. The chatter around me increases and the boisterous laughs and shouts drown my senses. The ringing doesn’t stop, and the room grows too hot.
I don’t understand. I do not understand. Did I imagine seeing that look in his eyes, the one that told me he cared? More than cared.
I glance back up and watch him smile as he allows Nathaira to hang all over him.
Smile, he smiled at her. Is still smiling down at her.
I swallow hard. Maybe I did imagine it after all.
Foolish, Seren. Just because he cares doesn’t mean anything.
“Are you okay?”
I look up at Hael and nod before glancing around the room as it grows smaller, suffocating.
“I’m tired,” I tell him. “I’m going to slip out.”
Indira pats my shoulder. “Go first, and we’ll keep watch.” Yasmin nods. “We won’t be staying long after you leave. Go. We’ll see you in the morning.”
Thanking her, I don’t look back as I slip out the doors and into the hall, using the shadows to conceal me as I move outside.
I gasp in a deep breath of cold air. Filling my lungs, trying to loosen the tightness in my chest that doesn’t seem to want to disappear.
His love, Nathaira. Are they… together? Is that why he’s always hot and cold with me? Why he tries to push me away at every turn?
The bond has been pushing us together, not him. And I’ve just been getting in his way. In their way.
I move farther away from the main building to the small ruins of the shed and pick up a discarded sword leaning against the wall.
Raising the blade, I let go, letting every frustration and pain seep into the sword and disappear with each sharp slash. I stop thinking and just move, getting lost in the here and now. In the feel of the heavy steel in my hand and the icy breeze as it wraps around me.
I spin and attack my invisible opponent, and the sword slices through the bitter breeze.
The cold snow beneath my feet soaks into my shoes, and the tightness slowly unravels from my chest.
Time has no meaning as each strike becomes more concise, each move stronger.
Untethered and disconnected to the world around me, the last of my doubts and fears disappear.
No longer burdened, my body floats and soars, slicing and spinning, soothed by the song of the sword.
My inner shield solidifies, becoming impenetrable once more.
Unshackled. Unrestrained. I become liberated. Free.
I’m so lost in the freeing feeling of absolute tranquility that I don’t notice someone sneak up on me.
“There you are.”
I freeze and whip around to find Hunter leaning against the ruins of the shed wall, watching me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to ground myself in reality.
He shrugs. “I got bored of pretending and came out here. You must have had the same idea?”
I ignore his question, trying figure out what he means. “Pretending?”
“To talk to those I couldn’t care less about,” he explains. “To play a role I have no interest in.”
I frown. “Then don’t,” I tell him. “Why act like anything other than yourself? Why try to be someone you’re not and for those who couldn’t care less of you.”
I’ve had to hide what I can do my entire life. Had to conform to the rules and restrictions that were placed upon the Sidus. But I was never anything other than myself.
I never wanted to lose myself or what I wanted from this life. Which is to help. Help those who cannot help themselves. To fight and protect this world and the kindness and light I’ve seen in many that were shunned in the dark.
But this last while in Túr Rí, and even before that, I’ve been losing myself, allowing doubt and fear to cloud my emotions, to dictate my future.
No more. I am not weak, nor will I ever be.
“It’s not that simple,” he says with furrowed brows. “People will get hurt if I don’t play along. People I care about.”
“You can play the game and still be yourself. You can keep your purpose and still protect those you care about,” I point out.
“How?” he asks, practically pleading with me for an answer.
“By being you,” I tell him. “By being truthful to yourself. Everything else will fall into place.”
He grows quiet for a moment. “It sounds easy when you say it like that.”
“The truth is never easy. It’s the choice you make that is.” I give him a pointed look. “Just make sure you don’t regret it.”
He glances away and after a moment he nods to himself.
“Spar with me?” He moves closer to me and raises his sword. “I watched the way you moved a moment ago. It’s mesmerizing. I think there are a great many things I can learn from you, Seren.”
“Have you learned to avoid a blade yet? You didn’t fare so well the last time,” I say, reminding him of our last spar in the forest.
“I had so many small cuts across my arms and legs that my friend thought I was doing it myself.” He chuckles low. “Be gentle with me this time,” he pleads, making me laugh.
“We both know that you wouldn’t enjoy it if I did,” I say without thinking, quickly seeing the double-meaning in it with a wince.
Feeling his gaze, I glance over to find his eyes running suggestively up my body.
Clearing my throat, I step in front of him. “Let’s go. You have a bed in the healing bay calling to you.”
“Promises, promises,” he tuts before advancing.
Without warning this time, he attacks, and I smile realizing he has learned something after all.
But distraction is one of his weaknesses and I use it to my advantage to move behind him, sliding the blade lightly across his back while making sure the wound I create isn’t too deep. “Got your back.”
He barely flinches and turns to block my next strike. With a glint of delight in his eyes, he swiftly blocks my next attack, spins me around until my back is lined to his front, and grabs my wrists and sword, keeping them in place in front of us.
He leans down and I feel his warm breath brush along my ear. “Don’t worry,” he whispers and a flutter slides through my chest and stomach. “I’ve got your back too.”