Page 18 of The Gods We Defy (All Gods Must Die #2)

CHAPTER 18

A fter bathing, and eating as much as I can, I sleep for an entire day, only waking when my body tells me I’ve rested enough.

Getting dressed, I slide the cracked black crystal into the concealed pocket in my top. After nearly losing my life for it multiple times, I won’t risk something happening to it.

My mind drifts to the first trial and what happened and how I’m officially unable to leave here, even if I find the green stone. Something that is also starting to seem impossible. But there’s nothing that worrying over it will do.

I turn to leave my room, planning to spend the rest of the day searching for the green stone. Upon reaching for the door, it is thrust open by none other than Kestral, who struts into the room like he owns it. Though, I suppose he does…

He stops abruptly when he spots me, fully dressed and about to leave. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

I guess someone updated him about the trials. Perks of being royalty, I suppose.

“I’ve slept for an entire day. I doubt my body needs any more rest,” I tell him.

“Have you seen a healer?” His silver-gray eyes trail up and down my body, causing my skin to heat and flush.

“No. I don’t need one. I’m fine,” I reply while noticing how stiff and tense he and this conversation is. How it always is with him. Unlike when I’m with others. With…

I shake the thought from my mind.

He nods. “I heard you did well in the first trial.”

“It’s not what I expected,” I admit. “But I survived.”

“You did,” he confirms, watching me as if he’s trying to make himself believe it, too.

“Aren’t you supposed to be avoiding me?” I remind him.

He pauses with a frown, as if he truly doesn’t understand. “Why would I do that?”

“Seems to be the only method I’ve come to know from you. Besides that, I hurt you the last time we saw one another.”

The fire. That kiss… and then the look of pain he had.

His frown deepens in confusion, as if he still hasn’t a clue what I’m talking about.

“The fire,” I tell him and his eyes clear as relief fills them, leaving me as the confused one now.

He shakes his head and takes a step closer to me. “The fire wasn’t your fault.”

If it wasn’t my fault, why has he been avoiding me? He pushed me away and now that hollowness he carved out inside me where a tether connected us, connected his powers, feels cold and empty.

“Why are you here?” I need to know because all I feel is frustration with him. He doesn’t want a mate and yet his actions constantly war with his words.

“I have enough games to play. I don’t want to continue this one between us. You say you don’t want a mate, but then you kiss me.”

“That was?—”

“Because you had to distract me? Save me from myself?” I ask, my voice raising with each word, trying to push him to admit something. Anything . “I felt it. I know you did too.”

I reach out to touch him, but he flinches back as if my touch alone causes him pain, shocking me to the core.

He clenches his jaw. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, just because we’re mates.”

I freeze as his words hit me like a brick wall. I quickly move back from him and his precious space and hopefully further away from the pain he’s making me feel right now.

That pain must be written across my face because he winces as if just realizing what he said and steps forward with a hint of panic flashing across his expression.

“You’re right,” I tell him and move farther out of his reach. This has always been something he didn’t want. He’s said it from the start, and I refused to listen, thinking it was something we both were just pretending. That maybe the spark I initially felt between us would grow into something more.

We’re supposed to be mates. Something that fate had a hand in creating. But the longer I look at him, the more I realize my existence in his eyes will always only be an obligation and the mate bond is just something that has been confusing that.

It doesn’t have to mean anything, just because we’re mates…

“I appreciate your help in the trials…” My voice is hollow as I build my shields around myself once more. Shutting off the reel of emotions he seems to be able to make me feel. Brick by brick I lock them down completely. “But I think it’s better if we stay away from one another.”

“Seren…” He moves to take a step forward but stops himself, clenching his fists by his sides. “I didn’t mean?—”

“You did. And that’s okay. I understand what you want from me now. Nothing . And I’ll make sure it stays that way. Please leave.”

He swallows hard, his body becoming stiff as stone. I watch his face for any sliver of emotion trying to betray him. To tell me what I’ve said is all a lie. But there’s nothing. No emotion. Just detached, cold indifference.

“Cyra will help train you for the next trial. The Burren is known to contain illusions. He’ll help teach you to learn to see past them.”

Passing information. That’s the whole reason he is here.

I nod and wait for him to leave, ready to be done with this conversation… and him. But he pauses and sighs, glancing at me warily.

“My mother will be arriving soon. She normally does not show up until the final trial but… for some reason she’s decided to come early.” He says it more like a warning and I instantly go on guard.

Surely, she doesn’t know about us. Not that there is any us to worry about. But she’s the fae queen.

“Be careful…” he warns as he stalks out of the room.

As soon as the door shuts, I start thinking on where I can find a new lock for it.

S haking off the run-in with Kestral, I head to the entrance I found to the ruins beneath the building.

Moving into the wide tunnels, I pick a random passageway, making note of the way I came so I can figure a way back. The passageway changes to tight tunnels before eventually becoming old brick hallways.

After an hour of wandering through the brick halls and archways, I rub the bead of sweat from my face and freeze, realizing I’ve forgotten my mask.

Too late to go back for it now. I come to what looks like the ruins of an old throne room. The throne and wide sweeping steps leading up to it are still half visible amongst the crumbled bricks.

Scattered columns line each side with strange symbols carved into them. I move toward one of them but freeze when I hear movement to the right of me. Whipping around I instantly relax when I see who it is.

“Veles.”

“You survived the first trial,” he says with a smile.

“I did.”

“I knew you would.” He makes his way over to me, his relaxed expression slowly changing to one of intrigue.

“You’re upset,” he says, more of a statement than a question.

“It’s nothing.” I look away from his pity and over to the half throne.

“What happened?” he pushes, cutting me off with a demanding look. I must be terrible at hiding my feelings from my face. I guess I didn’t bury them as deep as I thought if he’s able to tell something is wrong in one look.

“It’s nothing,” I repeat, trying to move away from the conversation that he seems adamant about starting. “You said?—”

“I can’t read your desires, but I can tell from the pain in your eyes that there’s something you want but are trying very hard to push away. Maybe a certain someone who is too stubborn for his own good?” He raises a brow in question.

I clench my jaw and glare at the crumbled throne. “I don’t care.”

“You do care… It’s why you’re hurting. He’s hurting just as much. I promise.”

I doubt that. “I’m not interested in?—”

He steps closer to me. “He never stopped looking for you,” he says, and my eyes find his. “He barely slept. The entire fae kingdom had to suffer through his endless storms while he searched for you. But it was like you had disappeared.”

I did disappear. At least to the underground. He never would have found me. No one would.

Veles frowns. “You know I can’t outright lie to you. I can decide to not tell you something, but when I do, it’s the truth,” he promises, which makes this even more confusing.

“I will not sit around and pine for someone just because the fates made some mismatch that was never meant to be,” I tell him, but his eyes soften.

“You don’t see what I see. The way he watches you when you’re not looking. You don’t see the lengths he’s willing to go to protect you.”

I sigh and fully turn to him, realizing he will not give this up. “Why are you telling me this?”

“When people I care about are being foolish, I like to point it out to them.”

I frown. “I’m not?—”

“He has the entire kingdom on his shoulders and so much more. Give it time. Give him time,” he says.

Time… something I seem to always be running out of.

“Come on. Let me show you what I found.”

He brings me through the columns and out onto a large open area that must have been a great chamber at one point, past another arched brick hallway, and down a small, tight stairway that has a rope handrail.

The steps curve around a large stone wall and when I step off the last, it’s as if I’ve stepped into another building completely.

The grand hall is standing tall. The marble floor, high ceiling arches. and walls still very much intact. There’s dirt and dust everywhere, and everything is slowly deteriorating but nothing like the ruins I’ve passed on my way here.

“This way,” Veles says before turning into a corridor on the left, down a hallway, and into another vast room with dozens of shelves that look like it must have been a library long ago.

Some of the shelves are broken and sagging, while others are on the floor with dusty paper and books scattered about.

“Over here,” Veles calls and I follow his voice to a spot near the back of the room where he’s looking at the wall.

A map that is so old the paper almost looks carved into the wall itself spreads out in front of us. Half of the map has crumbled away with time and has whole chunks missing. The half that is still intact reveals a clue to what may be now missing.

The Chamber of Healing… The words are carved into the map, just beside the half that has been lost to time.

“Do you know anything about this place? What it was before Túr Rí was built on it?” I ask while more closely inspecting the map and trying to figure out where we are on it.

“It was originally a temple that belonged to the Goddess Brigid, known to heal the sick. They loved and adored her so much they built a palace and town around her temple to be closer to her. They worshiped her and in turn she created a place full of prosperity and healing.”

“You said before that seven of the gods stayed?” I ask, wondering if Brigid was one of them. But if she had been, why isn’t she here? Why is this place now buried beneath Túr Rí?

“There were originally nine gods in this world. Danu, the mother of gods. Brigid, the Goddess of fire, healing, and prophecy. Dagda, the God of strength and wisdom and king of the druids.

Clíodhna, the Goddess of love and beauty, and also Queen of Banshees. Aengus, God of resurrection, with powers over life and death. Cernunnos, also known as the Horned One and Lord of wild things. Lugh, the God of sun and light and also known as a great warrior. Balor, the God of chaos and destruction, and Mórrigan, the Goddess of war and Queen of demons. Brigid and Danu left, but the rest weren’t so gracious. They enjoy this world far too much.”

He looks at the wall, his expression darkening. “Once Brigid left, the gods destroyed this place, dragging it into the depths of the mountain, completely covering it. It wasn’t until centuries later that Túr Rí was built.”

I glance back at the map and around the chamber. It has to be hers. But how do I get to the chamber of healing? There’s no other indication on the map of the rooms we’ve passed, meaning there’s no way to show where we are to find it.

I point to the words The Chamber of Healing on the wall. “I need to find that room.”

Veles watches me for a moment, and I feel the sharp warning pain in my head right before a drop of blood falls from my nose. But I push past the pain and give him a look, trying to convey how much I need to find it. My life depends on it, literally.

His eyes widen for a moment before he nods. “Then let’s find it.”