Page 3 of The Gentlewoman Companion (The Gentlewoman #4)

When Nellie appeared, it was with a basket of mending. At twenty-three, she had five years on Louisa and felt like a wise older sister.

“Wasson? You seem alloverish,” Nellie said and sat down to mend.

“I’ve not heard from my father, though it’s been more than enough time.

Oh! I hope he leaves me be.” Louisa had been certain that Lady Halverton’s authority combined with Mrs. Eliot’s forceful personality would be enough to gain his approval.

Now, however, Louisa began to doubt her father would allow her this freedom.

“He is a firm toady,” Louisa told her. Nellie had been Aunt Mary’s maid, so she did not know of his sternness…

or his obsequiousness. “When he sees the countess’s seal, he shall faint!

Still, should he force me home…” She required something to keep herself busy.

From the basket of mending, Louisa selected a shirt and found a tear in the shoulder seam. She began to stitch.

“Mrs. Eliot won’t hear of it. She’ll bamfoozle him.”

Nellie’s Cornish words set Louisa right at her ease. “That is true enough. She can be terrifying. But I will worry until we hear from him.”

“Are you feeling quite easy otherwise?” Nellie asked.

“Routine devours every minute in this house. I did not think I would like that, but I find it comforting. What of you? Still eying the handsome footman?”

“I’ve not a minute to spare, not even for green eyes.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Better than most, but your weeks as a lady’s maid gave you a mere taste.”

“I wouldn’t have survived without your help.”

“You’re doing your bit.” Nellie nodded to the shirt in Louisa’s lap. They worked peacefully for a moment.

“She has me studying. Did I tell you?” Louisa asked.

“Lady Halverton? Studying what?”

“Philosophy. I prefer novels, but on occasion I enjoy something that seems to explain what I know but cannot articulate.”

“Mm.”

Louisa abandoned her sewing and went to the dressing table.

She retrieved the study journal Lady Halverton had given her, looking for a quote she had copied just that morning.

“Listen to this: ‘Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.’ It’s from an American.

Frankel or Frankland? Anyhow, what do you think? ”

“I suppose we must keep working.” Grinning, she tossed the shirt at Louisa’s face.

Louisa laughed and returned to her chair.

She found the needle woven through the fabric and began to stitch.

The quote stayed with her, especially as she knew she must make the foray into society despite feeling un-improved, without achievement, and unsuccessful.

“What if I progress, but no amount of refining covers my mistake?”

Nellie looked up. In her eyes, Louisa saw the remembering. “You keep all the good you make, Miss Louisa. Mistakes cannot erase the goodness you are.”

“Sometimes it feels like the only thing I am is the Great Misjudgment.”

“What you are is helping me with the mending.”

Louisa would record Nellie’s words in her journal and hope they might one day seem true.

The sound of footsteps clicked down the hall, and the door flung open. Lady Halverton entered smiling with an open sheet of paper in her hand.

Louisa and Nellie stood.

“It is settled. You are to stay!” Lady Halverton moved toward Louisa with her arms open as if to hug her. Thinking better of the gesture, she squeezed Louisa’s arms. “I am so pleased. And look at you. Helping with the mending. You are a treasure.”

Louisa almost sank to the floor. She was to continue at Lundbrooke, the most beautiful place in the world, with Lady Halverton, the kindest soul living.

“Your father sent you this.” Lady Halverton produced a sealed letter. “Meet me in the garden when you’ve read it. We shall celebrate with cake.” She breezed from the room and closed the door.

Louisa stared at the letter. It must be from her father.

“Well, will you open it?” Nellie asked.

“I am not certain I want to know what it says.”

“You’re staying. That’s what matters.”

Though she’d corresponded with her father several times while in Bath, Louisa hadn’t had a line from him in all the time she’d been away. Perhaps after learning she would not be returning home, he had wanted to wish her farewell. Did he miss her? She cracked the seal and read.

Louisa,

Stupid girl. Imagine my outrage when I received a letter from your aunt detailing your escapade.

I should have known better than to let you out of my sight.

However, Charles and I thought that if your Lady Halverton can secure you a husband, you may not need your dowry.

Your brother and I could use the funds to improve the estate. Keep your secret close.

Father

Louisa balled the paper in her fist. The edges razored into her palm, helping stay the tears that burned her eyes. What had she expected? A kind word? Concern for his daughter?

“What did he say?” Nellie asked.

“It seems my father and brother are aware of the Great Misjudgment. Knowing Charles, he will spread the news to everyone he sees.” She began ripping the letter. “Unless my father convinced him to keep silent to improve the odds of my marrying well. They hope to pocket my dowry upon that occasion.”

Nellie put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Miss,” she said. “That’s unfair.”

Louisa nodded, not trusting her voice. Cupped in her palm, the letter, torn to tiny fragments, seemed innocuous, but its message was clear: Father did not care about her.

Though almost nothing could induce her to return home, she had wanted him to request it.

His disinterest settled beneath her left rib with a sharp twist.

She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders.

“It’s time I begin fulfilling my duties as a companion in earnest.” She had no intention of lining her father’s pockets by finding a prosperous husband.

In fact, she would never marry unless she found a man with the utmost honor and respect for her, a man whom she could not only love but trust. Finding a husband while she remained a companion was an unlikely prospect anyway.

This position was her opportunity to start a fresh life, free of the judgment or control of her relations.

If she managed to prove herself to society, to Lady Halverton, perhaps her Great Misjudgment would be forgotten, and Louisa might finally feel whole again.