Page 26 of The Gentlewoman Companion (The Gentlewoman #4)

“I must agree with Miss Fischer,” Lord Halverton said, granting Louisa an opportunity to stare at him. “When put into context, as Mr. Cheston suggested, we see that the wife of Bath would not have to stoop to such manipulation if her husbands had freely granted her self-governance.”

Yes! Precisely Louisa’s thoughts. If her father and aunt, for example, had offered her a choice in setting her future, she would never have committed the Great Misjudgment.

Because she had not been permitted to govern herself, she’d known she must either serve the wishes of others or obtain her freedom in a radical way—which had resulted in dangerous circumstances and would make her the subject of scorn if publicly aired.

Yet it was unfair for society to hope better of her because, as she’d synthesized after reading Mary Astell’s argument in “A Serious Proposal to the Ladies,” she and most women were not shown a better way.

It seemed both men and women lacked the education and good examples required to overcome problems such as these.

In Louisa’s opinion, the wife of Bath was a nag because it was the only way she knew to be heard.

“Miss Cron,” Lady Halverton said. “You are nodding. What say you?”

“Lord Halverton is correct. I do not believe that Alison is seeking to dominate her husband as much as wishing for the ability to choose for herself. When we, whether male or female, are granted this gift, we tend to choose better. The old woman in the story, for example, when she is given the choice, does what is best for herself and for her husband.”

The conversation continued around Louisa, increasing in fervor as it progressed.

She watched the faces of the participants.

Face pinched, Mrs. Trelawney took Miss Trelawney’s hand and clutched it in both of hers.

Mr. and Mrs. Kent nodded or shook their heads in unison, indicating their level of agreement on any given remark.

Miss Cron made several comments, which were backed by Miss Fischer.

Most of the ideas presented Louisa had considered herself, which gave her some assurance that eventually she would be able to speak as effectively as others in the room.

Until meeting Lady Halverton, she had rarely been called upon to analyze or think critically.

She hadn’t cared to. Her mind had begun to change, and she suspected there was some truth to the power of education.

Lord Halverton had extolled her wisdom but said she could not see it in herself.

Since she was clever enough to participate in this discussion, if only within the pages of her journal, perhaps she did have something to contribute.

But acknowledging her astuteness seemed contrary to one who had made a Great Misjudgment.

How could she trust herself to see things clearly when she had gotten one enormous thing so terribly wrong?

Louisa caught Lord Halverton’s eye. He raised his brow.

Her heart stuttered while the rest of her froze, unable to turn away.

He tilted his head toward the door. Leave with him?

She shook her head. He pointed to the clock on the mantle.

Later. Had he guessed her misdeed and now wanted to clarify?

She could not be alone with him, not after having nearly told him the full truth.

But he might only wish to tell her something, perhaps related to his half-siblings, that he could not share with his mother.

In which case, it was unkind to ignore him. She inclined her head very slightly.

He smiled and turned his head to the person who was speaking, his profile illuminated by the window behind him.

Dark hair, an earnest expression, a fine figure.

And compassionate. How had he understood that some of Alison’s behavior was wrought from necessity?

Dared she hope he would recognize the same necessity in her actions?

When the party broke, Louisa joined Lady Halverton in thanking her guests for attending the meeting. She saw Lord Halverton beginning to slip out of the room.

Miss Fischer approached and took Louisa’s hands in hers. “Miss Thorpe, as soon as the room clears, you must come with us to Havenwood. We’ve a new donkey.”

At the invitation, Lord Halverton turned to Louisa. He shook his head and pointed to his chest. Come with me.

A pestering certainty that her days with Lady Halverton were numbered made her wary of declining Miss Fischer’s offer. Havenwood was likely Louisa’s future. Besides, the risk of Lord Halverton confronting her about her near admission was too great.

“Yes! Lady Halverton, do we have any engagements preventing us from visiting Havenwood?” Louisa watched Lord Halverton’s face fall, and her insides constricted as he retreated slowly from the room. Were his shoulders a bit slumped, his head a bit bowed? She felt her own body mirror his.

L ouisa did not enjoy driving Nimbus to Havenwood.

She could barely heed the conversation Miss Cron continually attempted.

The new donkey was mundane, the strawberries flavorless, and the sun too hot.

She sat with Miss Fischer, Mrs. Beecham, Miss Cron, and Lady Halverton on a blanket spread in the middle of a meadow, her stomach tying knots to remind her that Lord Halverton was alone in his lavish estate.

Foolish. He would not miss her, as he had plenty of responsibilities to occupy him.

She patted down the fear that the overt dismissal of his invitation might make an end of their friendship, a relationship she did not want.

Well, she did, but not when he flattered her or pressed her to share confidences. She had chosen correctly.

“…tire of the salons, we will go to Mr. Astley’s circus,” said Mrs. Beecham.

“I shall not tire of the salons,” said Miss Cron. “Lady Halverton, you must ensure we are invited to everything.”

Lady Halverton swallowed whatever she was eating. “I will do nothing less. We’ve had plenty of practice with literary discussions here, and my correspondence with the first ladies in London is strong. I will throw the best gatherings with all the most interesting people.”

“Who is Mr. Astley?” Louisa asked.

“A military man who specializes in trick riding,” said Miss Fischer. “He rides while standing. Dangerous but quite a spectacle.”

“Speaking of the military,” Mrs. Beecham said, “I heard that a butcher’s son was attacked by an impressment gang. His family sued for his release to no avail.”

“Such a cruel practice. And he not even a sailor!” said Lady Halverton.

Louisa’s mind drifted from the conversation.

For the past fortnight, Louisa and Lady Halverton had prepared for the trip by writing even more letters than usual to Lady Halverton’s myriad friends and acquaintances.

Already a dozen invitations awaited their arrival.

There would be balls and plays and shopping, distractions to soothe Louisa’s nerves.

After the evening meal, they returned to Lundbrooke, but Lord Halverton did not show himself, and his mother did not seem to expect him.

“I am tired, my lady. You will not mind if I escape to my room early tonight?”

“You were quiet today. Is everything all right?”

Louisa’s skill at adjusting her mood to entertain and cheer Lady Halverton had faltered that day. The following day, she would be better. “Of course. I simply crave some quiet.”

“You are a delight and a great support to me. Take a novel and enjoy it in bed. I will send hot chocolate.”

“I am fortunate to have become your companion, my lady.” Louisa’s eyes stung with the confession.

What would she have done without Lady Halverton’s kindness?

Louisa was the true beneficiary of the relationship.

Not only was she safe, sheltered, and cared for, but a world of understanding and knowledge was opening to her.

Lady Halverton smiled with her classic, steady warmth. “Fortunate for us both.”

Louisa trailed up to her room, grateful for the respite. On her dressing table, she found a letter from Charles.

Dear Sister,

I am in London! Father was compelled to sell a few acres to Cousin Sophia, so I’m flush in the pockets for the time being.

London is grand, and I am taking advantage of every opportunity to amuse myself.

The ring settled my previous matters, but do not forget me.

My luck is fickle, and I may need another little bauble.

Charles

The door opened behind her, and Nellie entered with a tray.

“Lady Halverton said you’re not feeling well. I came to help you into your dressing gown and to have a natter, unless you’re not up to it?” She investigated Louisa’s face. “What happened?”

Louisa handed over the letter. “Charles is in London.” The pronouncement weighed her down.

“Polrumptious man. Well, let’s get you comfortable, and then we can talk.”

Nellie began removing Louisa’s hair pins. Louisa closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of her hair loosening and falling around her shoulders, the brush’s soothing bristles running over her scalp and through her hair.

“What will I do when I have nothing else to give Charles and he tells someone what I did?”

“Would he put his reputation at risk?”

“He doesn’t care about his reputation—it’s hardly worth anything as it stands. If outing me is the last entertainment in his grasp, he will do it.”

“I cannot imagine a brother so unfeeling.”

“He was ever a horrible brother. Father indulged him and disallowed my mother from punishing his antics. I had a Queen Anne doll that belonged to my mother. Charles used it to practice his sword play, destroying her clothes and breaking off her arms. I was only five, so of course I cried and was insufferable, but my father made me apologize to him .” Louisa sipped her chocolate, a fragrance and a flavor that would ever remind her of Lady Halverton.

“I’ve known the sort. Spoiled children grow into spoiled young men. Could you tell Lady Halverton about him, have her warn him off?”

“What excuse could I give her? I can no more lie than tell the truth.”

“If you say so. But think on it. Our mistress is of an understanding nature.” After a pause, Nellie added, “I learned today that Campbell is coming to London with us.”

Louisa looked up. “Green eyes?”

“That’s the one. We walked to church together last Sunday.”

Louisa reached back and squeezed Nellie’s wrist. “That sets my heart singing. And he is kind and polite? Knows how wonderful you are?”

“I can’t say as all that, but he is thoughtful.”

“What a wonderful thing to hear at the end of my day. Thank you, Nellie.”

Nellie opened the door to leave. “What is this?” She bent over and picked something off the floor and gave it to Louisa. “Good night, then, love.”

In Louisa’s hand was a wrapped bar of rosemary soap from Floris. Louisa lifted it to her nose and inhaled. It smelled like a thousand of her mother’s embraces. And of Lord Halverton.

Across the paper in a sharp hand were the words, “I am sorry for upsetting you. – James.”

She held the soap close. Oh, Mama. What am I to do? Protect me from Charles. And give me courage to be a true friend to Lord Halverton. I think he needs one.