Page 198 of The Gathering Storm (The Wheel of Time 12)

“A favor?” Nynaeve asked. “Rand, you used balefire! They were burned out of existence!”

“As I said,” Rand replied softly. “A favor. Sometimes, I wish the same blessing for myself. Good night, Nynaeve. Sleep as well you can, for our time in Arad Doman is at an end.”

Min watched him go, wishing to sprint after him, but holding herself back. Once he was gone from the room, Nynaeve slumped into one of the room’s maroon chairs, sighing and leaning her head against her hand.

Min felt like doing the same. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized just how drained she was. Being around Rand lately did that to her, even when he wasn’t engaged in activities as terrible as the ones this night.

“I wish Moiraine were here,” Nynaeve muttered softly, then froze, as if surprised to have heard herself say that.

“We have to do something, Nynaeve,” Min said, looking at the Aes Sedai.

Nynaeve nodded absently. “Maybe.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, what if he’s right?” Nynaeve asked. “Wool-headed fool though he is, what if he really does have to be like this to win? The old Rand could never have destroyed an entire fortress full of people to kill one of the Forsaken.”

“Of course he couldn’t have,” Min said. “He still cared about killing then! Nynaeve, all those lives . . .”

“And how many people would still be alive now if he’d been this ruthless from the start?” Nynaeve asked, looking away. “If he’d been capable of sending his followers into danger as he did Ramshalan? If he’d been able to strike without worrying about whom he would have to kill? If he’d ordered his troops into Graendal’s fortress, her followers would have resisted fanatically, and they would have ended up dead anyway. And she would have escaped.

“This might be what he has to be. The Last Battle is nearly upon us, Min. The Last Battle! Can we dare send a man to fight the Dark One who won’t sacrifice for what needs to be done?”

Min shook her head. “Dare we send him as he is, with that look in his eyes? Nynaeve, he’s stopped caring. Nothing matters to him anymore but defeating the Dark One.”

“Isn’t that what we want him to do?”

“I. . . .” She stopped. “Winning won’t be winning at all if Rand becomes something as bad as the Forsaken . . . We—”

“I understand,” Nynaeve said suddenly. “Light burn me, but I do, and you’re right. I just don’t like the answers those conclusions are giving me.”

“What conclusions?”

Nynaeve sighed. “That Cadsuane was right,” she said. Nearly under her breath, she added, “Insufferable woman.” She stood up. “Come on. We need to find her and discover what her plans are.”

Min stood, joining Nynaeve. “You’re certain she has plans? Rand was harsh with her. Maybe she’s just staying with us to watch him flounder and fail without her.”

“She has plans,” Nynaeve said. “If there’s one thing we can count on with that woman, it’s that she’s scheming. We just have to convince her to let us in on it.”

“And if she won’t?” Min asked.

“She will,” Nynaeve said, looking at the place where Rand’s gateway had split the rug. “Once we tell her about tonight, she will. I dislike the woman, and I suspect she returns the emotion, but neither of us can handle Rand alone.” She pursed her lips. “I worry we won’t be able to handle him together. Let’s go.”

Min followed. “Handle” Rand? That was another problem. Nynaeve and Cadsuane were both so concerned with handling that they failed to see that it might be best to help him instead. Nynaeve cared for Rand, but she saw him as a problem to be fixed, rather than a man in need.

And so Min accompanied the Aes Sedai out of the mansion. They walked into the dark courtyard—Nynaeve making a globe of light—and hurried around the back, past the stable and toward the gatekeeper’s cottage. They passed Alivia on the way; the former damane looked disappointed. Likely, she’d been turned away by Cadsuane and the others again—Alivia spent a great deal of time trying to get the Aes Sedai to train her in new weaves.

They finally reached the gatekeeper’s cottage—at least, the gatekeeper’s cottage was what it had been until Cadsuane prevailed upon him to move out. It was a single-story, thatch-roofed structure of painted yellow wood. Light shone out between the shutters on the windows.

Nynaeve stepped up to the front and knocked on the sturdy oak door; it was answered shortly by Merise. “Yes, child?” the Green asked, as if intentionally trying to goad Nynaeve.

“I have to speak with Cadsuane,” Nynaeve growled.

“Cadsuane Sedai, she has no business with you right now,” Merise said, moving to close the cottage door. “Return tomorrow, and perhaps she will see you.”

“Rand al’Thor just burned an entire palace full of people from existence with balefire,” Nynaeve said, loud enough to be heard by those inside the cottage. “I was with him.”

Merise froze.