Page 156 of The Gathering Storm (The Wheel of Time 12)

“Who are you, Gawyn Trakand?” Bryne asked, prodding further. “What are your allegiances, really?”

“You know me better than most, Gareth.”

“I know who you were supposed to be,” Bryne said. “First Prince of the Sword, trained by Warders but bonded to no woman.”

“And that’s not what I am?” Gawyn asked testily.

“Peace, son,” Bryne said. “This wasn’t meant to be an insult. Just an observation. I know you were never as single-minded as your brother. I suppose I should have seen this in you.”

Gawyn turned toward the aging general. What was the man talking about?

Bryne sighed. “It’s a thing most soldiers never face, Gawyn. Oh, they may consider it, but they don’t let it torment them. This question is for someone else, someone higher up.”

“What question?” Gawyn asked, perplexed.

“Choosing a side,” Bryne said. “And, once you’ve picked one, deciding if you made the right decision. The foot soldiers don’t have to make this choice, but those of us who lead . . . yes, I can see it in you. That skill of yours with the sword is no small gift. Where do you use it?”

“For Elayne,” Gawyn said quickly.

“As you do now?” Bryne asked with amusement.

“Well, once I save Egwene.”

“And if Egwene won’t go?” Bryne asked. “I know that look in your eyes, lad. I also know some small bit about Egwene al’Vere. She won’t leave this battlefield until a victor has been chosen.”

“I’ll take her away,” Gawyn said. “Back to Andor.”

“And will you force her to go?” Bryne asked. “As you forced your way into my camp? Will you become a bully and a footpad, remarkable only because of your ability to kill or punish those who disagree with you?”

Gawyn didn’t answer.

“Whom to serve?” Bryne said, thoughtful. “Our own skill frightens us, sometimes. What is the ability to kill if one has no outlet for it? A wasted talent? The pathway to becoming a murderer? The power to protect and preserve is daunting. So you look for someone to give the skill to, someone who will use it wisely. The need to make a decision chews at you, even after you’ve made it. I see the question more in younger men. We old hounds, we’re just happy to have a place by the hearth. If someone tells us to fight, we don’t want to shake things up too much. But the young men . . . they wonder.”

“Did you question, once?” Gawyn asked.

“Yes,” Bryne said. “More than once. I wasn’t Captain-General during the Aiel War, but I was a rank-captain. I wondered then, many times.”

“How could you question your side during the Aiel war, of all things?” Gawyn said, frowning. “They came to slaughter.”

“They didn’t come for us,” Bryne said. “They just wanted the Cairhienin. Of course, that wasn’t so easy to see at first, but truth be told, some of us wondered. Laman deserved his death. Why should we die to stand in the way of it? Maybe more of us should have asked the question.”

“Then what’s the answer?” Gawyn asked. “Where do you put your trust? Whom do I serve?”

“I don’t know,” Bryne said frankly.

“Then why ask in the first place?” Gawyn snapped, pulling his horse up short.

Bryne reined in his animal, turning back. “I don’t know the answer because there isn’t one. At least, each person’s answer is their own. When I was young, I fought for honor. Eventually, I realized that there was little honor to be found in killing, and I found that I had changed. Then I fought because I served your mother. I trusted her. When she failed me, I began to wonder again. What of all those years of service? What of the men I’d killed in her name? What did any of that mean?”

He turned and flicked his reins, moving again. Gawyn hasted Challenge to catch up.

“You wonder why I’m here, instead of in Andor?” Bryne asked. “It’s because I can’t let go. It’s because the world is changing, and I need to be part of it. It’s because once everything in Andor was taken from me, I needed a new place for my loyalty. The Pattern brought me this opportunity.”

“And you chose it just because it was there?”

“No,” Bryne said. “I picked it because I’m a fool.” He met Gawyn’s eyes. “But I stayed because it was right. That which has been broken must be made whole, and I’ve seen what a terrible leader can do to a kingdom. Elaida can’t be allowed to pull this world down with her.”

Gawyn started.