Page 40 of The Games We Play (Balance of Power #3)

NAOMI

I watch Seamus run toward the bush barrier that separates us from the view of the cabins. He takes a quick glance back at me, wearing a contagious smile before breaking out into a full sprint behind the hedge.

My emotions are leapfrogging everywhere. Excitement, giddiness, worry for Seamus not being able to make it back in time, and sadness that we only have another full day before camp ends.

Holding the sweater he left, I hug myself with an uncontrollable smile and sniff the fabric that still smells like him. It’s a mix of the woods we spent so much time in, the scent that makes him distinctly him. Like fresh linen and cedar.

I glance down, attempting to find my dress and shoes, when I hear the snap of a twig behind me. I immediately duck down to hide myself, but before I can, I hear a man’s voice sing-songing, “I see you.”

Nathan.

I stop and turn around, hiding myself with the sweater. I only have my underwear on and minimal protection from the hoodie, so I crouch down to cover myself as much as possible.

“What are you doing here?” I grit through my teeth.

“We’re just out for a late night walk.” He slurs the last few words a bit as he walks toward me, and I notice he has a beer bottle in his hand.

“We?” I ask, looking behind him, but don’t see anyone. He ignores my question as his hooded, bloodshot eyes rake over my body.

“I’m just leaving,” I say as I pull the sweater over my head. Luckily, it’s huge on me and falls just above my knees. I stand, grabbing my dress in one hand and shoes in the other.

“No, I think we should hang out for a bit. I mean, you owe it to me for almost breaking my nose,” Nathan says, stepping directly in front of me, lifting his chin with a slight turn to show me the swelling and bruising.

“I’m sorry about that,” I say, even though I’m not at all sorry about it. Moving around him, he sidesteps in front of me, stopping me. I step to the other side and he follows, blocking me again.

My heartbeat kicks up another notch and my breath is short. I’m trying to maintain my composure and not show him how terrified I am, but I’m failing.

“Nathan, let me through.” He just stands in place, staring at me with evil laced in his eyes. I look down at the beer bottle he’s holding, knowing that is contributing to his erratic behavior, unsure how many he’s had tonight.

Looking over his shoulder, the pathway is there, lit up by just the moonlight, and I am desperate to just run for it. The lake is directly behind me, and there is no other way to get out.

“I’m going.” I push past him, but as my shoulder brushes his, he grips the nape of my neck, pulling me back. My hands fly up to my head, attempting to pull him off, but he’s too strong. The sting of hair pulling and the yanking of my neck makes me squeal out in pain.

“That’s not the only thing that’s going to make you scream tonight, you fucking whore.

” He slams my body into the ground, pressing my face into the dirt as I cough and breath in the earthy particles.

It’s like chalk on my tongue, and only gets worse as his hand presses harder at the back of my skull.

“Nathan, please don’t do this.” My words are muffled as more dirt smears on my cheek and over my mouth.

My fingers claw into the dirt as I attempt to push myself up, but he slams his knee into my lower back, pressing me down. He leans forward, his hands find my wrists, putting all his weight onto them.

“You’re hurting me,” I manage to spit out, but it sounds like barely a whisper, even though I feel like I’m screaming inside.

I kick my legs and use all my strength to move my arms. I manage to get my right arm out from his grip, but he uses that free hand to grab a handful of my hair, pulling hard before slamming my face back down onto the ground.

A twig breaks underneath my cheek, and the sting that cuts through my skin feels like salt on an open wound.

For a brief moment, I’m in denial. That this isn’t really happening. This can’t be happening.

But I put myself in this position by sneaking out with Seamus, and it’s my fault I’m here.

And it’s my fault I hit Nathan, that I made him so angry that he’s paying me back for embarrassing him.

Everything is my fault.

Tears stream down my cheeks and all I can do is beg and plead with him to stop. The volume of my words vary between a whisper and a scream, and I can’t decipher or process any of the words I’m using.

“Nathan, please stop,” I beg. “Stop!” I scream, as I throw my head back and forth .

“Shut up!” he screams as he turns me over.

Blinding pain explodes behind my right eye as he backhands me, and my body goes limp.

“I’ve done nothing but been nice to you, Mimi.” Gripping the collar of the hoodie, he yanks it hard, pulling my neck off the ground as he tries to tear it off, but it’s too thick and doesn’t budge.

“Fuck!” he yells in frustration, and it’s terrifying how angry he is.

A crash of broken glass echoes around me and he holds the bottle up to my neck. My eyes widen as I stare into his enlarged pupils, blown out and invading everything behind his evil eyes.

Pressing into the thick cloth, he saws mindlessly at the corner of the collar, and the fabric tears easily. My hair is a victim to his mindless cutting, and loose strands float around me, landing on my face and now exposed chest.

Tossing the bottle, he uses both his hands and rips the sweater down the middle.

The sound rings through my ears. His unwanted touch gropes me aggressively as I plead for him to stop.

But he just keeps going. I squint hard, hoping this is a nightmare, but when I reopen my eyes, he’s still there, holding me down.

His fingernails pinch into the side of my hips gripping my underwear, then he yanks hard, using my own body to rip them off. He tosses them away, leaving me completely naked.

“No.” I try to protect myself with my heavy arms, but it’s no use when he smacks them away.

He kicks my legs open as he unzips his pants, and the weight of his body sits heavily on my hips. I scream when he pushes into me, and the excruciating pain travels from my core all the way to my throat. A thousand needles pierce my insides. My organs explode and my heart feels like it dies.

My heart, my mind, my soul. I can feel pieces of myself falling away .

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

I squeeze my eyes shut and open them, trying to find clarity. Trying to understand.

Another hard thrust and I wail out again as he squeezes my breasts hard, the pain radiating through my entire body.

My arms fly up to protect myself, and I have one more burst of strength as I attempt to kick him off me, flailing my arms at his chest, swinging and hitting.

My weak pleas get louder as I push myself to fight.

Keep fighting, Mimi. Just keep fighting.

I have more in me. I have more fight left in me.

I manage to land one punch to the corner of his chin, making him slouch back briefly.

Taking my chance, I crawl away from him, clawing at the dirt in the ground to help my get away.

My bare feet grip enough of the earth to push myself away but his hand wraps around my ankle, pulling me back as he hits me again.

This time, the back of his hand crushes the side of my face, and it feels like my eardrum detonates behind my jaw.

“That’s it.” His exasperated voice sounds muffled, like I’m hearing him underwater. My vision is blurred and nothing makes sense anymore. I open my eyes and the sky is spinning. He’s dragging me. The rocks and twigs bite at my back, but I don’t feel pain anymore. I don’t feel anything anymore.

Droplets of water splash around me. The lapping of waves mix with footsteps, and suddenly liquid ripples over my bare feet, traveling up my legs until my entire body is drenched.

The lake.

It’s cold and bitter, harsh against my scored skin.

He presses my face further into the ground and the waves crash over my eyes, matting my knotted hair to my cheeks. I try to breathe, but it’s a mix of air, and liquid, and pure fear. I choke on water and gag as I gasp for breath.

He loosens his hold and I push myself up, heaving, begging for him to stop .

“Scream again and that’s what you’ll get.” He holds my cheeks with one hand as he grabs my wrists with the other, holding them over my head as the water laps around us. “Are you going to scream, Mimi?”

It’s like staring into the devil’s eyes as I give in to him, to save my life. My fight is gone and I have nothing left. I just need to survive.

I shake my head, my eyes so fucking heavy, and everything just hurts. Everything hurts so much. I squeeze my eyes shut. Tears blend with the droplets that coat my face as he pushes into me again.

I don’t scream. I don’t fight. I just wince with every numb thrust as the silent tears continue to fall.

The pressure is so painful on my weak wrist joints as he bears all his weight onto me. I wiggle my wrists, but he only presses into me harder, heavier. I’ve never felt so trapped, so lost, so powerless.

The lake water is cold as it bites my skin. His jerking movements forcefully pushes more water over my body. It beats against my face as I attempt to dodge the tide, but wishing I could disappear into it so it could whisk me away. Far, far away from here.

I glance up to the sky that I’ve fallen in love with, the sky that’s brought me happiness and peace. The same sky that Seamus observes every night, and I allow it to take me away.

The stars begin to blend with the black backdrop, so I squeeze my eyes closed and reopen them, because I need the light the stars offer.

Orion glows brighter than ever. He finally showed himself to me tonight, and now that I can see him so clearly, I wonder how I never saw him before. It’s like a beacon, like he’s calling me with his stars that shine brighter than all the others in the sky.

I focus on the corners that create the constellation and pray. I never pray. But if there is ever a time to do it, I guess it’s now .

Minutes go by. Hours maybe. Probably seconds. I don’t know.

Everything hurts. Even the cold lake water feels like lava on my skin.

My body jerks without resistance as Nathan shoves into me. Blinding pain radiates from my uterus up to my throat, and it physically makes me feel sick.

Mentally, I want to die. I don’t want to live through the memory of this night.

The mud and rocks pierce my back with each forceful jolt. I can’t feel my fingers, my wrists anchored against the ground with the entire weight of his body, and there is nothing left.

I have nothing left.

“Nathan, please stop.” My defeated, tearful voice cracks as I beg for him to stop, even though I know nothing will help.

In fact, I realize I just made it so much worse for myself.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m almost done.” His vile voice is stern, and nothing in it sounds remorseful.

He palms my chin. His fingers squeeze my cheeks with alarming force. He grunts, pulsing inside me as he loses himself in the pain he’s inflicting while taking his pleasure.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I press my lips together as I endure the torture and push through the disgust. The water laps over my mouth, covering my face. I choke as he pushes me further into the muddy water.

I struggle to breathe, kicking my legs as I toss my head back and forth, but he’s too strong. He’s too fucking strong.

He’s going to kill me.

I whimper out in pain, in agony, in fear. I’m so scared. So, fucking scared.

“Please,” the watery words bubble from my lips. “Please.”

He releases the pressure on my neck and I’m able to lift my head enough to take a gasping breath, but it’s temporary as the back of his hand crashes against my cheek. Blinding pain explodes behind my eyes as my body falls limp and his hand returns to the tender, bruised flesh.

I try to lift my arms, but they’re so heavy. So, so heavy.

My vision blurs as his grip tightens, stealing my air. I attempt to fight to keep my eyes open. All I can see is Orion’s outline and Seamus’ voice telling me it's going to be okay.

Somehow, it’s going to be okay.

I guess this is what happens before you die. Accepting it and telling yourself, it’s going to be okay.

Nathan pushes my face fully underwater, and I squeeze my eyes shut, losing track of the light. My Orion. Our Orion.

My body is on high alert. My legs kick as I attempt to flail my bonded arms. The watery scream is useless other than to just further choke myself on the murky water.

Suddenly, the weight that was holding me down is gone, and I’m able to hold my head above water.

My wrists scream in tender agony. My head throbs and chest heaves. The sound of splashing and muffled voices fill my ears as another deep male voice yells, and the fighting continues.

Catching my breath, I blink my heavy eyes open, but between the water and the swelling, I’m unable to see anything other than two silhouettes, their shadows mixing with each other.

My head throbs as I attempt to hold my neck up, but it weighs a hundred pounds and nothing in my frail body is working.

I need sleep, but I’m not tired. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. I’m so confused.

Everything is out of focus and dark. I squeeze my eyes shut and open them to clear my vision.

A figure stands over my body, startling me, and I attempt to drive my legs into the ground to push myself away, but my body won’t respond. I’m so weak.

“No,” I manage to squeak out as I shake my head.

“Mimi,” he shushes, comforting me. “It’s going to be okay. ”

I try to open my eyes wider, but only my right eye barely opens with enough clarity to see.

“Wes?” My fractured voice is hoarse and dry.

His arms wrap around my naked, battered body. One behind my back, another under my legs, and I’m lifted out of the water. I attempt to buck out of the hold, but he shushes me again.

“Jesus, Mimi. Hold on, I’ve got you,” is all I hear before everything goes dark.