Page 18 of The Fixer

My heart melted at Sascha’s assurance, the heat pumping furiously up to my face. Drawing his lips to mine, I kissed him with all the beautiful emotion I could muster. His palm felt so hot—so hot it threatened to melt my cheek before sliding to the back of my head.

Opening my mouth for his sweet invasion, my mouth watered long before his tongue tangled around mine. Reaching to fumble with my jeans, I kicked off my sneakers with weak kicks. Flames engulfed my body, boiling my blood and making me shake as Sascha slung his arm around my waist. My fingers trembled attacking his shirt buttons, and a moan lodged in my throat when he hoisted me onto the island.

Tearing my mouth from his to pant hotly, I hissed when Sascha tugged my pants off. The thin fabric of his shirt fell away, and my palms roamed the thick hairs on his chest.

Capturing my lips fiercely, he rolled my own shirt up as his fluttered off completely.

I needed him. IneededSascha… but I didn’t deserve him. He didn’t deserve this horror I put him through. My eyes ached, but I couldn’t stop.

His hands slipped between us. Rubbing me outside my panties, Sascha undid his dress pants’ fastenings with deft, sharp movements.

Throbbing with need for him, I flung my arms around his neck to draw him closer. This intense desire for him rampaged through me, and his grunt lodged my throat. His tongue claimed mine, the taste of my him sending my mind into a dense cloud of soft pink.

“Fuck—“ Sascha trailed fire down my jaw and neck, and my knees clung to his sides. The smell of him coated my lungs, blocking out the scent of whatever he’d bought for dinner. Pushing my underwear to the side, his long, pen calloused fingers spread my folds. A surge of cool air shocked me, rattling up my spine while he lavished my neck. His heat scorched me, engulfing us both in this primitive moment until I couldn’t find my way back to reality.

Harsh pants rolled down between my breasts, held together only by the frail front clasp of my bra. My core clenched with expectancy as Sascha swiped the mushroom head of his cock between my slickened folds. Squeezing my eyes shut, I ground my teeth to block the needy, pathetic whimpers that dried my mouth.

Gripping my hips in clammy palms, Sascha surged into my channel with a guttural, thunderous growl. Pleasure welled from my eyes, and I clenched as my blood turned thick with it. His girth stretched my walls so nice while they undulated wildly. Stale air caught in my lungs, the purity of us, together, almost enough to stop my heart before he pulled back to thrust roughly.

Sascha was such a beautiful person, and he tangled a hand in my hair to hold us flush together. All I could taste was him as my lips brushed his shoulder. All I could feel was the burn of his body hair as he set a hard, grueling pace. Moans and gasps escaped the dense lump in my throat to dance with theslapof skin on skin.

God, I love him so much.

I couldn’t stave off my orgasm as this thought consumed me, and my eyes rolled back in their sockets. The shivers that raked my spine suddenly surged down my arms and legs. Clamping down on Sascha’s hard cock, pressure imploded between my ears. Jostling my body with each snap of his hips, he ground his hips against mine to ride my waves. His tiny, breathless moans caressed my neck until this experience of him became overwhelming.

“Oh—God!” Grappling uselessly at his shoulders, I buried my shriek in his musky skin. Tremors unlike anything I’d ever felt before locked my muscles in delicious cramps. Squeezing me to him, Sascha trembled against me as euphoria slammed into me. Beneath the pounding in my ears, his teeth ground, and I curled my feet around his upper thighs.

“Wow…” Sascha’s hoarse grumble sent a twitch through my cheek. His grip on me turned tendered with a slight shuffle of his feet, from a clutch to a hug that added weight to the tears clinging to my eyelashes. “Today was really not good for you, Oppie.”

“D-don’t talk—” My voice cracked harshly while my lips blubbered with a sob, as the certainty of the past four years seemed to slip from between my metaphorical fingers. As I asked, Sascha didn’t talk, but his hold, his breath, hiseverythingspoke loudly enough.Do I love him enough to let him go?

12

Sascha

Stroking Ophelia’s face and pushing my fingers up into her hair, I inhaled a deep, stabilizing breath. Her softness against my body was comforting, but I could feel it— the tension in her. Watching the screen flicker as we sprawled on the wider-than-should be-legal sofa, I kissed the top of her head absently. “If you need to talk, Oppie…” Of course, she didn’t want to talk. If she did, Ophelia wouldn’t have jumped me. More importantly, she wouldn’t have cried afterwards because I sure as shit knew I wasn’tthatgood. “Does it have to do with whatever you found earlier?”

“Yeah…” Sighing heavily, she nuzzled my chest, curling up tighter against my side.

My brow furrowed in confusion, the noise from the television drowned out as I focused on her.

“It’s not what I found out… it’s more about what I thought more deeply on. My dad’s email. You’d have to be blind not to know he was cheating. I just thought—I don’t want to— lead us towards the lies, the resentment. I never realized how much my dadhatedmy mom. Vyachaslav Makovich forced them to get married. If you ever resented me for this life, you’d tell me, right?”

“Of course, I would. If you’re ever not worth it, Oppie, I’ll let you know immediately. What brought this on?” Despite this house, despite this conversation… this moment was peaceful. “You can talk to me about anything that’s worrying you.”

“The future worries me. It’s been worse lately. I can’t stop thinking the things I put on you… everything is so one sided when Ireallythink of it. Now that everything’s going to shit. I just—I regret fooling myself into thinking you wouldn’t get dragged down with me.”

Pursing my lips thinly, I pressed my cheek against her crown.

Ophelia sniffled, wiggling a little closer, clutching a little more firmly. “No one would choose this.”

“I choseyou, Ophelia.” There was something she wasn’t telling me, something shecouldn’tphysically get out. Grabbing her hand, I pulled her fingertips to my lips. Her goosebumps rose up on her legs, her skin bristling along my abdomen. “There is nothis. There’s only us. You’re alone. I’m alone. We’re two alone people who aren’t lonely together. I love you. I don’t love the life you were born into, but the only person who can change it obviously refuses to.”

“I don’t want to do that to you, Sascha.”

Sharp, thin nails scratched my arm with the same gentleness that infected Ophelia’s voice. My chest ached at the furious undertones of everything she’d felt since Makovich was almost assassinated. It wasn’t her fault, what her parents did, just like it wasn’t my fault what mine did. “You’re not forcing me. Admitting there’s things I don’t like about my relationship doesn’t mean that. Not being able to grow because of Aleksander doesn’t mean you’re weak or a failure… he’s an asshole force of nature, and admitting you can’t change his course is acknowledging that this is a limit you can’t break. You say it all the time…he’s the most powerful man in Russia. There’s a reason for that, and you’re not incompetent for the cautiousness.” Pressing my lips to the backs of her fingers, I exhaled a heavy breath.

Ophelia stayed quiet.