Page 39 of The Fear (The Hillers of Barratt County #7)

He’d filled in for his brother with church activities a few times before, mostly when Gunn had been called away to be with a congregant in an emergency last minute, or the time Gunn had had food poisoning.

Grady didn’t mind doing the whole crowd thing, it just wasn’t easy for him.

He’d discovered years ago that a lot of people expected him and Gunn to act identically because they were identical physically.

It had taken Grady a while to understand that it was perfectly fine that he didn’t act like Gunn all that much.

Gunn was easy with people and crowds. Grady wasn’t.

He still felt like people expected him to be. And found him lacking compared to his brother.

By the time they had everything set up, a dozen women from Gunn’s congregation were there, chattering and moving everywhere. They were like a tornado of church ladies—and they terrified Grady completely. He suspected they did it on purpose.

Hala did just fine with them; they just sort of assumed she’d come with his mother, though. And that Grady was incompetent or something. They ordered him around like he was a teenager at times. Just there to do their bidding. Well, really just there to lift heavy things more than anything.

Half those women thought they should be in charge since Gunn wasn’t there.

They just couldn’t decide which one of them it should be.

And it was almost like they were jockeying for position or something.

Grady was the one who was apparently supposed to decide, and award the queen the crown.

They were acting annoyed that he would just shrug when they asked him something.

So…he just shrugged every time he could.

Couldn’t they figure out how to do this without him telling them what to do?

Until his mother firmly swooped in and kept the crown for herself, anyway. And anointed Hala as her chosen princess.

He was fine with that—he was just there to help out his brother. But…his mom and Hala handled the rest of the women within half an hour. They were both scarily efficient. They had a system in place, right there on the library front lawn. Before people from the town started arriving.

And it was very clear—Grady’s mom was now in charge. And Hala was her main minion. Dr. Alvaro was her secondary minion once she arrived. And that woman was a master of dealing with the church lady army, too.

He loved watching Hala with his mother. His mom liked to fuss over Hala when she could.

That rodent Luis Sandoval walked his own mother over from where she lived next door to George. Luis was such a Mama’s boy. Grady made sure to tell the man that, too.

Luis shot him a rude gesture when no one was looking.

Well, Grady’s mother did see. And she gave Luis the look that had him apologizing. Luis always had been afraid of Grady’s mother. Of course, Grady was afraid of Luis’s mother, too. There was that. She’d kept him and Gunn in line many times before.

Luis went straight to Hala after that and started making small talk. Butthead was still hot for her. It was in how he looked at her. How Luis kind of hovered and gave her that smile just like that.

Grady tried to resist the urge to growl. His eyes narrowed—Luis was looking at him and smirking. He was going to pound that guy, first chance he had. That was his woman, not Luis’s.

“You can’t go around scowling at your friends, and then expect people to buy cookies,” his mother told him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

But his mother knew him well, after all. “Are you and Luis arguing about something? I thought you were good friends?”

They’d been friends since preschool. Once. He didn’t feel like they were exactly friends now, though. As of sixty seconds ago. “He doesn’t need to be looking at her like that. People will start talking.”

His mom laughed softly. “Oh, sweetie. He’s just talking to Hala; they work together. Does she know how you are feeling about her now?”

He just grunted, as a man who looked vaguely familiar with two kids approached Hala next. The little girl, no bigger than Calvin, rushed right at Hala and gave her a hug. “Don’t feel…any different about her than before.”

He was lying. They both knew it.

“Baloney. Don’t lie to your mother, young man. You’ve been watching her lately. I know your feelings have changed toward her. And hers toward you.”

Grady stiffened. “What do you mean?”

Yes, the family had seen him holding her after the fire, but he’d just been trying to comfort her. But the kisses they’d shared, he didn’t know if anyone knew about those. Except maybe Gia— she’d been snickering at him a lot lately. Especially when Hala was around.

Gia was such a brat sometimes. Hudson was going to have his hands full.

They had been all cuddled up and cooing at each other this morning.

Hudson had promised to bring her to the bake sale that afternoon after her follow-up appointment.

She and Ryan wanted brownies, he’d heard.

And Greer probably knew—and Ayla. So that meant Aubrey probably knew.

So Guthrie and Gunn knew, too. And Gene had caught them sneaking into Hala’s guestroom…

They probably all knew how he felt. Grady didn’t care one bit. He’d shout it for the entire world to hear, if he had to. That was his woman right there. Forever.

“The two of you make eyes at each other. When you don’t think the other is looking.

She looks at you now—and you look right back.

So what are you going to do about it? She’s not a girl you play around with, unless you are serious.

That one is hungry for a family again, building a life for herself.

She’s young, but not into the fun and games.

She’d be good for you. I’ve long thought that.

Several years, actually. The two of you—both are extra soft hearts that need each other in this big bad world. ”

“It scares me.” If there was anyone on this earth he trusted with his secrets—other than his twin—it was his mother.

She’d always just listened to him when he hadn’t had a way to find answers to his problems. They were close, and he adored her.

“I…fast. It was fast. Like…all of a sudden, she was just there. Right in front of me. And I…can’t be the kind of guy for her. ”

“And why not?”

“She deserves…better. More than me.” Because he would probably screw everything up.

He wasn’t good at relationships, other than with his family.

He just wasn’t. People weren’t his thing.

They didn’t always make much sense to him.

Cows, horses, dogs, hell, even cats—he could figure things out.

But people…that was Gunn, not him. “And I would never want to hurt her.”

The last thing in the world he would ever want to do was hurt her.

“Oh, you big goober. If you aren’t the most like that father of yours—he said almost the exact same thing to me forty-three years and nine children ago.

Of course you wouldn’t want to hurt her.

That’s not who you are. And…I think you are a pretty darned good man.

Just as you are. Would you love her, take care of her, protect her, respect her, and support her in whatever she did?

Think the sun and moon and the stars rise and set because of her?

Be there for all the good and bad life may bring? ”

He thought for a moment, before slowly nodding.

Of course he would. That was what people did for those they cared about, loved.

And a woman like Hala…deserved all the love a man could give.

He could see her with a husband, two or three kids.

Maybe more kids than that. Half a dozen, maybe.

She’d be…perfect at it, really. Beautiful.

There would be laughter constantly. Joy.

A man would be happy to go home to that. He really would. To go home to her.

Or…he’d pick her and the kids up at the school every day and take them home with him. He could see that, too.

“Would you treat whatever woman you fell in love with the way your father has always treated me—or the way George has always treated his Veronica?”

He nodded again. “I would try my best. But what if I…couldn’t?”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to, baby? Everyone in relationships makes mistakes.

It’s just the way it is. Two people just have to love each other enough to want to learn from those mistakes, to forgive, and keep going.

I have no doubt in my mind you would love a woman just as deeply as Gunn does Ayla, or Guthrie his Aubrey.

Or your other brothers and those two beautiful, wonderful women they love.

Maybe even more deeply. You, Grady Treyton Hiller—have a heart just made for loving.

Maybe even more than any of your brothers and sisters.

I have known that from day one. You have always been my sweetest one. ”

“Even more than Gunn?” Gunn was the nice one, after all. He always had been. The one everyone always talked about that way.

“Gunn is one of a kind, even if the two of you look the same on the outside. But so are you. You are just more introverted and quieter—and far shyer—than your twin. Identical on the outside doesn’t have to mean identical on the inside.

And the two of you are both good men. Just in different ways.

I don’t know why I have to keep telling you—you are a good man.

And I am proud to be the mother lucky enough to have raised you.

” She looked over to where Hala was still speaking with that man and his children, even braiding the little girl’s hair quickly.

“And I can think of only one woman around here who is deserving enough for my baby. Now, shoo. Don’t be scared.

Go get your woman back before that man there makes off with her like I suspect he’s wanting to. ”

“He’s got kids.” He was a cop, from the Barratt County Sheriff’s office. He’d been a year ahead of Grady and Gunn in school. Had always had a bad attitude, too. The man and Guthrie had tangled during high school a time or two. Grady recognized Ryce now.

“And isn’t married any longer. I know what he’s thinking when he looks at that pretty girl of yours. Now, go. I’ll distract the elementary school principal. I have some things to tell that young man about his behavior this morning. I’ll just be your wing-mom. Shoo.”

He loved that woman; she’d always given his father fits. Grady had always understood why. But…his mom did come in handy.