Page 95 of The Fates We Tame

I feel helpless, wishing I could remember more of my training so I could provide better answers. Stalling for a moment, I sit next to him and mirror his body language.

Spark glances sideways at the scar that runs up the back of my skull. “Feel crap coming to you and burdening you with my stuff when you’ve got shit of your own going on.”

I shake my head. “Don’t. Sharing it is the most important thing. That’s kinda how I realized there was something special with me and Soph. She held my hand when I practically collapsed on the floor after one of my…” I can’t think of the word for what happened that day. Fits? Episodes, maybe? “Anyway, my point is, I don’t know much for sure right now, but I’m pretty sure one way to get through shit is to share it. The club has lots of money right now, right?”

Spark rubs his face. “Yeah, money we liberated from the Righteous Brotherhood. Eleven million. Less now. Bet we’ve spent about a million developing the compound, paying off some of the older brothers to clean house.”

“Then we use it. Soph and I need to finish our treatment. I’ve made an after-hours agreement with one of the docs I trust. Was going to ask King for some backup to travel there. Why don’t you see the team there too? I mean, it’s a brain-injury place, but thetherapists are still therapists. They have all these cutting-edge solutions. Perhaps they have an approach that might help you.”

Spark stands. “I did treatment once though. But when it came down to it, when her life was on the line, I froze. I fucking froze, brother. What kind of fucking one percenter am I if my first thought wasn’t to pull my weapon and protect her? You had to protect both of us.”

I stand and grip his biceps. “Don’t fucking do that. You know what your first thought was? That you’d die for her. You wrapped yourself around her so that no part of her was exposed. That’s the kind of one percenter you are. That’s the kind of man you are. You would have died for her without a single fucking thought and never regretted it for a moment.”

And then I realize I’m crying.

And I’m shouting.

I don’t know why.

And I’m shaking Spark like he doesn’t understand the first fucking thing I’m saying.

And then we’re holding on to each other.

“Fuck,” I curse.

“Yeah,” Spark says.

We stand like that for a moment, and then I wipe my hand across my face.

“Sorry. Don’t know what the fuck just happened,” I say.

Sparks huffs. “Is this where I remind you that your first fucking thought when you were up at the cabin was to protect Halo, Lola, and Ari? Thatyou’dfucking die forthem? That you threw yourself into the path of danger because that’s the kind of one percenteryouare?”

“We were talking about you, though. Not me.”

“Pretty sure all that shit you gave me at the beginning about trauma responses not being linear applies to you as much as it applies to me. You had a great fucking life, Switch. Now you’vegot a different life. Like me. You got a woman you clearly care about. And you gotta somehow figure out how to build a new life on a solid foundation even though it’s built on the rubble of chaos.”

We stand in silence for a moment, the air heavy between us as we process our thoughts.

“And another thing. I’m sorry,” Spark says. “Should have immediately voted to back you. Too wrapped up in the idea of safety for Iris and the club that I forgot who I was for a second. Won’t happen again.”

I take a deep breath. Then another. “Perhaps we should do this together.”

“I’m not fucking meditating,” Spark says.

I laugh at that. “Maybe we just try everything once and get over it.”

“Spark!” King’s voice echoes down the hallway.

“Yo,” Spark yells in return. “Medical.” He glances back at me. “It’s a deal, brother. We’ll walk to the other side of this together.”

I turn to the sink and splash cold water over my face, then run it back through my hair.

There’s a knock on the door, and King walks in just as I’m drying my face. “Spark, you want to tell me why your uncle-in-law is outside waiting for the gates to be unlocked?”

“I’m not an oracle for Cillian. How the fuck should I know why he’s here?”

King throws an arm over Spark’s shoulder. “Let’s go find out together.”