Page 144 of The Fates We Tame

I tug her forward and crush her lips to mine, sinking my hand into her hair, pulling it firmly in the way I know she loves. Finally, she shoves at my chest.

“Do you want to see the rest?”

“Fucking yes!”

She pulls out a small crop. Like, leather. The kind that can slice skin. I take her wrist and lead her so the crop runs over the head of my cock. Even with the soft fabric between us, I can feel the rigidity of the crop. It’ll hurt.

“Is this okay?” Sophia asks, her voice breathy.

I love the way she sounds when she’s turned on.

“More than okay.”

Sophia makes her way through all ten of them, leaving a scalpel till last. She runs her fingers over the scarification tattoo design I have on my chest. “This is for week ten. Niro is teaching me how to do this so that I can do it for you. I’m not the world’s greatest artist, so it will only be a simple design. But by the time you get to week ten, I’ll be ready.”

“Your initials,” I say immediately. “SCV.”

“Then that’s what I’ll practice. But I’m thinking it should be SCR, right?”

My last fucking name. “Perfect.”

She squeals as I tug her so she’s sitting over me. I wiggle my sweats down over my hips, and then ease her down on my cock, making us both gasp.

“Fuck, you feel so good.”

We got tested, and Sophia went on birth control. Kids are a thing she’s decided she wants, but after consultation with her doctors and an honest discussion where we agreed we just want to enjoy being a couple for a while, we decided it was best to wait. And to be honest, I love the way we are right now. The two of us are creating the best fucking life we can.

“You’ll do it while riding me like this. I want you to fuck my cock while you hurt by body.”

Sophia tips her head back as she rides me. I grip her hips and thrust up into her.

Being so deep in her pussy is the best it’s ever been. And I can say that with certainty as significant chunks of my memory have returned over the past month. So has my understanding of my relationship with pain.

Shockingly, I ended up talking to Doc about it. And Doc showed how fucking cool she is by helping me understand it.

There’s no trauma I’m trying to escape.

No deep reason of why I like it.

I just do.

Like a good fucking orgasm, I love those ten seconds your world shakes from pain.

Even better if the two things happen together.

And Soph…she just rolls with it. No, more than that, she enjoys it.

We have a delicate balance. A power exchange that only works for the two of us. I tell her to hurt me, and she loves doing it to me. She’s no sadist; it’s the joy that comes from doing exactly what I tell her. We can’t really explain it to anyone else.

And the dynamic never slips outside of sex.

I reach for Sophia and pull her down to me so I can kiss her. “Thank you. For all of this. For knowing me. For taking me for what I am and embracing it with me.”

She smiles. “Thank you for marrying me even before we really knew each other.”

I’m so into fucking her that I almost forget. “I have one last gift for you.” I flail my hand beneath the sofa where I tucked it last night. “Here.”

She sits up and takes it, the gesture impaling her so fully on my cock there is no space between us.