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CHAPTER NINETEEN

If I thought the previous week was awful, the next two weeks were pure hell.

Cameron and I were complete strangers. We spoke about work and nothing else. He wouldn’t even smile at me.

I missed his smile. I missed him .

All I could do to take away the pain was to bury myself in my work. Our current projects weren’t as intensive as the LearnQuest campaign, but I treated them as though they were just as urgent. It was the only thing that took my mind off Cameron.

I’d been hesitant to get involved with him because I thought it might affect our reputations. I didn’t even consider the possibility that our relationship could end and I would have to see him every weekday. When my past relationships ended, I’d rarely seen my exes afterward. That was the best way to heal — no contact. Every time I saw Cameron’s face, it was like I was being stabbed in the chest.

Now, I stood in my bathroom, slowly getting ready for work. I really didn’t want to go to the office today.

There was a knock on my door and my heart rate spiked. Who the hell could be at my door so early in the morning?

I headed to the foyer, squinting my eyes for a moment as my vision briefly went blurry. When I opened my front door, my eyes widened at the sight of Emilia and Brooke standing out in the hallway. “What are you guys doing here?”

“You won’t pick up your phone!” Emilia told me, crossing her arms.

“You can’t just text us that you and Cameron broke up and go MIA,” Brooke added.

After Cameron had ended things, I had texted Emilia and Brooke the news. Afterwards, they’d sent me about a hundred messages, and I grimaced, remembering how I’d forgotten to reply to them.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just been really busy with work,” I said.

“We know you’re obsessed with work, but this is a big deal, Alison! You were so happy with him. What happened?” Emilia asked.

I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose, struggling with the pulsing and pounding in my head. I really didn’t feel like detailing how everything was my fault, but they were my best friends. Maybe it would be good for me to talk to them and get all of this off my chest.

They followed me into my living room. I needed to go to work soon, but I supposed I’d play my CEO card and go in a little later than normal. Work would still be waiting for me when I got there.

Once Emilia and Brooke sat down on my couch, I stood in front of them with pure guilt written all over my face. “First off, it’s my fault.”

“How?” Emilia asked.

Brooke looked confused. “What did you do?

“He took me on a weekend getaway. It was so romantic and amazing… until there was a work emergency. He had been pushing me to relax and not get sucked into work so much, so I missed a bunch of calls and emails,” I explained. “I blamed him. I thought it was his fault we’d turned off our work notifications.”

“He didn’t do it on purpose though, did he?” Emilia asked.

“No,” I said, slumping. “Of course not. He couldn’t have predicted there’d be an emergency, not when we’d just submitted our latest campaign. But in the moment, I was panicking. He was trying to have a conversation, but I just snapped at him. I told him to get into work mode — to do his job and fix things.”

Brooke and Emilia were quiet for a moment .

“I’d feel awful if one second, I was on a holiday with my boyfriend, and the next second, he was reprimanding me like I was a bad employee.”

“I know,” I said, covering my face with my hands. “ I know . In that moment, I was bossing him around like he was below me. When he broke up with me…he said he needed to be equals with someone.”

“Oh, babe,” Brooke said softly. She tugged me over and I fell onto the couch between them. Emilia wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“We drove back to the office. I was so angry that he’d taken me on a holiday hours away, but he couldn’t have known…and the whole getaway had been so incredible and thoughtful. I just didn’t see any of that in the moment.”

Brooke rubbed my arm.

“Anyway, then we returned to the office, and I spent the next week working flat out. He wanted to talk but I dismissed him. I was overwhelmed with work, and all I could think about was how much of a stupid idea it was, getting involved with him.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “But as soon as the campaign was finished, and all the stress disappeared, I realised how much I missed him. We talked, but then…he broke up with me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Emilia murmured.

I blinked a few times, trying not to cry. “The worst thing is, I can’t even get mad at him. He said he can’t date a woman who’s also his boss, and I completely understand where he’s coming from.” I inhaled a shaky breath. “It’s not healthy to have such a power imbalance. I never would, but technically I could fire him whenever I wanted. I have influence over his career, his salary…” I trailed off, fighting the urge to wince. When I said it aloud, it was so obvious that a relationship with my employee wouldn’t work. How could I have been so blind?

Because in the moment, all of those reasons had faded away. All I’d cared about was being with Cameron. He’d made me laugh until my stomach hurt or smile until my cheeks ached.

He was special to me, and I lost him.

My eyes watered. “I feel terrible. I just miss him so much.” I had done far more crying over the past two weeks than I’d like to admit.

“It’s okay,” Emilia said, giving me a comforting squeeze.

“This doesn’t mean you guys are done forever,” Brooke added.

I sniffled a little before we all broke away from each other. “I’m not going to push him. If he’s over me, he’s over me. I’ll just have to move on too.”

“It won’t be that easy,” Brooke said, her eyes big with sympathy.

“I know, but it’ll have to happen eventually,” I sighed as I brushed my hair away from my face. “I’m just going to put my head down for now and work. ”

Emilia and Brooke shared a concerned frown. Emilia squeezed my arm. “Don’t work too hard, okay?”

How many times was I going to hear that from people?

I had tried to have a better work-life balance. It had ended in disaster.

“It’ll be fine. Business is booming,” I replied, forcing a smile on my face. It was true, and I was grateful for that, because the last thing that I could handle right now was my company failing.

That would be the cruelest joke in the world.

“That’s great,” Brooke said. “Maybe you need a girls’ trip, though. To get your mind off things.”

Emilia gasped. “That sounds so fun! When was the last time the three of us left town for a little bit and had some fun?”

Brooke and Emilia shared an excited look with each other, but all I could think about was the last time that I went out of town with someone.

“Yeah, maybe later,” I said. I knew I was ruining the excitement, but I couldn’t bear to go on another holiday.

Their smiles faltered, but they didn’t totally disappear.

“Yeah, that makes sense. It would take some time planning and aligning all of our work vacations,” Brooke said, prompting Emilia to nod in agreement. “One day, though!”

I forced a smile and nodded. “Definitely.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out in town soon,” Brooke pointed out.

“You should come out for drinks with us. What about tonight?” Emilia asked.

I shook my head. “I really need to catch up on reading some reports tonight. Maybe another time.”

It would probably be a while. I loved hanging out with my friends, but they would probably bring Cameron up or ask how I was doing. That all would remind me of what happened, and I couldn’t deal with that right now.

I wasn’t ready.

Once again, Brooke and Emilia exchanged concerned looks, but thankfully they didn’t argue.

“Just let us know,” Brooke said.

“I will. I should probably finish getting ready for work, though,” I told them before gesturing to them. “You guys are going to work soon too, right?”

“Yep, I’m heading to court after I leave here,” Brooke replied.

“I’m only a few minutes away. I could stay with you while you get ready if you want extra company or just want to talk more,” Emilia offered.

It was a sweet gesture, but I just wanted to go to work.

“It’s okay. I’m just going to throw on some clothes and put up my hair. I won’t be long.”

Emilia looked disappointed, but she smiled and nodded. “Okay, sure.”

I led them back to the front door, hugging them goodbye before they left. Afterward, I threw on a pair of black pants and a simple blouse before pulling my hair up into a ponytail to get it out of my face.

When I arrived at work, I walked towards my office, nodding at a few people who were busy at their desks. Then I spotted Cameron across the room, and my pace slowed to a stop.

My heart sank as I realized that he was chatting with one of the interns, a pretty redhead with a bright smile. She said something that made him laugh, and the familiar sound of it hit me like a tidal wave.

My head felt light as I watched them interact. It didn’t seem like he was flirting with her, but I still hated how they were so friendly towards each other.

I was being ridiculous.

I hurried to my office, putting Cameron’s interaction with the pretty intern at the very back of my mind. There were plenty of things to work on, so I’d be busy today.

While I worked, Cameron popped in a few times to check in with me, relaying emails and confirming appointments. We spoke in short sentences, not making small talk the way we usually did. At noon, he said he was taking his lunch break, and asked if I’d like him to grab me anything.

“No,” I said, keeping my eyes on my computer.

He hesitated, but then left without another word. He’d probably learned there was no point telling me to take better care of myself. I’d just ignore the advice like I always did.

At the end of the workday, Cameron came into my office again, to drop off some paperwork. “I have an update about the Power Corp campaign,” he said.

I sat up and took my fingers off my keyboard. “Yes?”

As he launched into his update, my mind strayed, remembering the time he got on his knees and worshiped me, kissing and caressing me like he couldn’t get enough.

Don’t think about him like that. It’s over. Forget those memories.

“And that’s about it,” Cameron finished, snapping me out of my heated thoughts.

I swallowed hard. “Great. Thank you,” I told him. We weren’t together. We weren’t friends. We were nothing but boss and employee. “You can go home for the day.”

But he didn’t leave. He stood there with an unreadable expression on his face. “Will you be going home too?”

“Soon.” That was a lie. “I just have a little bit more work to do.” That was another lie. I planned to work until I was tired to my bones. That way, I could go home and fall asleep immediately without having to think about anything.

Cameron opened his mouth, but then thought better of it and shut his mouth. He nodded before turning and leaving, looking tenser than he did when he entered my office.

I released a slow exhale once he was gone, then glanced at my reflection in the office window. My stomach dropped at the sight of myself. My ponytail was disheveled and limp, my face was pale and thin, and there were dark circles under my eyes.

I lifted my hand and pressed my fingers against my cheek, frowning when it didn’t feel as plump and round as it used to. I’d been having trouble sleeping lately and was eating less frequently.

Was I really surprised? The breakup killed me inside, stripping me of happiness and motivation to take care of myself. I knew that I probably worked too much, but at least it felt normal.

Speaking of work, I needed to get back to it. There were documents to look over, progress reports to review, and a whole list of other things that I could get a head start on.

A yawn broke from me, my entire body feeling heavy. My eyes strayed to the couch where I had been taking my power naps. A nap sounded so good right now, but I knew it would turn into sleeping through the entire night.

I couldn’t risk that. I needed to stay awake and finish up at least a few more things before going home.

That meant drinking yet another cup of coffee. I was starting to get sick of the taste at this point.

I stood up from my desk, pausing for a second when my head spun for a second. I reached out to steady myself as my stomach churned with nausea. After closing my eyes for a second, I regained my balance.

That was weird.

I walked out of my office, exhaling shakily as it felt like I was leaning to the side while I moved. I must’ve been really tired.

The office’s kitchen was only just ahead, but black dots suddenly popped up in my vision, my head going from heavy to light. Incredibly light.

The hallway spun, and my legs gave out. I hit the ground, darkness taking hold of me.