Page 19 of The Ex Next Door (Charming, Texas #8)

S omething strange was happening to Declan.

All night long, he kept feeling like he was living the life he should have had all along.

It was as if he’d stepped into someone else’s metaphorical cleats and found they fit even better than his own.

They were the brand and type he’d wanted.

But Amy wasn’t his and neither were David and Naomi, much as he felt inexplicably connected to them.

He rationalized that sense of attachment was due to his relationship with Amy first and foremost. Declan wanted kids, he always had, but certainly never planned on raising somebody else’s kids.

Amy turned to look in the back seat on the drive home. “Look at that, they fell asleep.”

“We tired them out that easily?”

“I’m sure their sleep schedules are all wacky. Summers are usually not a strict bedtime.”

“Then again, I guess my dad did throw the ball to David for an hour. Sorry about that. He can be a little…hard to contain sometimes.”

“All that enthusiasm. I’m sure it’s a good thing.”

“It can be.” An uncomfortable tension settled in his shoulders, pressing down a memory.

It was one thing to let a kid drop a sport because they weren’t enjoying it, like David had.

Quite another thing to discourage him from playing because he wasn’t good enough.

If David was enjoying soccer, Declan would have been the first to encourage him to stick with it.

If he loved the sport, he would have only improved with practice.

“I feel like you wanted to say something else,” Amy said. “Like there’s a but following that sentence.”

He chuckled. “You’re right. But I believe a kid should be allowed to play for fun, while they’re young.”

“One hundred percent agree. Isn’t that how you started playing baseball?”

“No, believe it or not, I first wanted to play ice hockey.”

Amy snort laughed. “Um, what?”

He laughed, too. “Yeah, I know, but I was seven . Mom got me the pads, skates, helmet, stick. Everything I needed.”

“Except the ice rink?”

“We do have them here.”

“It’s definitely not our state’s most popular sport.”

He heard the smile in her voice.

“Yeah, especially not in Charming, where baseball is so big. My dad convinced me I should drop it. Basically, that’s the only beef I have with him. If you can call it a beef. I wish he’d supported me and I’d had the chance to explore other sports earlier on. But that’s in the past.”

“I never knew that.” She reached and squeezed his shoulder. “You never said anything.”

“By the time you met me, I was happily playing baseball. It was my life. I was on fire, which helped. But every once in a while, I wondered if I was living my dad’s dream and not my own.”

“Oh, Declan.”

Nothing had changed. He still had a huge thing for the soft lilt in her voice when she said his name.

“No big deal.”

“That’s really why you quit, isn’t it? Not because you don’t have what it takes but because your heart wasn’t in it anymore. I knew it had to be something like that. I’d never known you to be a quitter.”

But the words stung because he’d quit on her. His life would have taken such different turns if he’d stayed with Amy. He couldn’t help but regret his choices now even if never had before. She would have been more than supportive no matter what he chose to do with his life.

“Even though my mom was selling houses to help my father fund both mine and Finn’s sports, Finn had always showed the most promise.

He was headed to Olympic gold and it just made sense for me to take a back seat.

I didn’t mind. You want to know something funny?

Finn confessed he’d felt guilty all these years that I’d stopped playing baseball.

He thought it was his fault and that on some level I must resent him. ”

“I can’t believe Finn even considered that for a minute. It’s clear how much you love him. You’re brothers .”

“Exactly. Don’t worry, I set him straight.”

“Honestly, David and Naomi are close now but my hope is that when they grow up, they’ll stay as close as you and Finn are.”

“They will.”

“All indications are they will, but as they get older and he’s interested in teenage-boy stuff while she’s interested in girl stuff…”

“News flash, that’s the case now. David would still walk through fire for Naomi and she for him. I can tell.”

“You’re right. And it’s a good feeling.”

When he finally pulled into Amy’s driveway, the kids were still sleeping. They didn’t wake up when he shut off the truck or when both he and Amy got out.

She opened the door closest to Naomi’s side. “I hate to wake her up but we might have to wake David. He’s too heavy. Thankfully, Naomi’s still light enough.”

He wondered how this would go and whether or not they’d sleep through being moved inside, but then he remembered long family car trips to visit his grandparents. Somehow, he’d magically wake up later in his own bed after falling asleep on the lengthy car ride home.

“I’ll unlock the door first,” Amy said and went to the front door.

Declan hated being useless, so he carefully undid Naomi’s seat belt and lifted her into his arms. Amy’s eyes were wide when she saw Declan approaching the door with a little girl in his arms.

“This way.” She led him to the bedroom and pulled back the covers.

Declan carefully laid Naomi on the bed. Amy removed her shoes and covered her with a blanket.

“I’ll get David,” Declan said and headed down the hallway.

“Let me wake him, he’s heavier than Naomi.” Amy followed him.

“No need.” He couldn’t possibly be too heavy for Declan.

Not surprisingly David went easily into Declan’s arms. Solid sleeper, this one. He didn’t budge as Declan carried him into the other bedroom. Amy was already there, the covers turned down. Again, she removed the shoes and pulled up the blanket, then slowly backed out of the room and shut the door.

Declan was right behind her when she did, and also when she turned and they were mere inches from each other.

He should take a step back. But he didn’t.

Even with the bright lights of an interrogation room, he couldn’t confess why except that this moment felt natural.

If he read any hint of fear, or apprehension, in her gaze he’d leave her alone.

Not just tonight, but every day after this.

He would bury this ridiculous notion that he wanted to kiss her.

He would forget the lilt of her voice when she quietly said his name.

He would stop thinking of every single move in his life that had pulled him away from her as a regret , and reframe his thinking.

It wouldn’t be the first time he’d be forced to sit on an impulse and probably wouldn’t be the last.

“Thank you for doing that,” she said, leaning against the door. “Even I didn’t realize how tired they must be.”

“Neither one of them moved a muscle.”

“I think they might have…if they felt unsafe in any way. It’s instinctive.”

“I’m glad they feel safe with me, then.” The first move he made was almost without thought, a basic tweak of her chin.

Some people might even think of that gesture as affectionately playful between two good and old friends.

Only someone who wanted more would see more.

At least, this is what he told himself. Funny how the chatter in his mind was always encouraging.

Always upbeat, like he had his own eternal cheering section on the sidelines.

He supposed he had to thank his upbringing for that.

In this highly vulnerable moment, he could use the positive thoughts.

Because Amy wasn’t smiling.

The look in her eyes, if he could still read her, was a mixture of surprise, confusion and…

desire. Or maybe that was wishful thinking.

The coach in the corner was telling Declan to go for it, take that risk, while the cautionary side warned he might just strike out if he didn’t take his time.

No use swinging at anything that came over the plate.

Lesson learned. Wait for the right one.

Then Amy took a step forward and buried her face in his chest. Her arms went around his neck and she held him tight.

“I also feel safe with you,” she said. “And I always have.”

Declan held her in the circle of his arms, his hands settled low on her waist. This moment was about a lot more than safety and trust for him. It was about new beginnings, and finding that some roads were circular and led you right back to where you started.

* * *

Amy was in Declan’s arms and she didn’t want to move.

This moment should last a thousand years or more just so she could get reacclimated to the sensation of his warm hands on her body again.

He’d touched her and it was genuine and filled with raw emotion.

She’d missed this. It wasn’t just the human touch, or one of a man appreciating her as a woman.

This was Declan and he obviously still owned some part of her soul.

She would have at one time called it the part of her soul that carried with it her youth.

Declan owned that part of her because he’d starred in it.

But now he was her present, too, slipping into the role of partner so easily it scared her.

He’d carried her children in and set them down in their beds the way she and Rob had done so many nights.

It should have been jarring to see another man in his place but somehow it wasn’t, not after the initial surprise.

Tonight had been spent partially reimagining what could have been.

Mr. and Mrs. Sheridan would have been ideal grandparents.

Finn played his part as the playful uncle, and Michelle the sophisticated aunt who would advise them on the best universities.

Amy went a little “rogue” giving everyone their roles, until she realized those scenarios meant she and Declan would be husband and wife.

It was a metaphorical splash of ice water in her face because, yes, maybe she wanted that. Still.

Now, she pulled back and found Declan studying her mouth.

Then he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her, which felt like the single most natural movement.

His kiss was tentative, and soft and exploring until she returned it.

She fisted his shirt and leaned into the kiss, taking it deeper.

But they were against the door to David’s bedroom, so she pulled back, took his hand and led him to the couch.

He pulled her into his lap and there was no more talking then, just desperate and feverish kissing. She took it up a notch, daring to reach under his shirt, touching warm, bare skin and then… Amy heard something but…

“Mommy?”

Naomi’s voice. Then the sound of the door creaking, that damn squeaky door, but thank God Lou hadn’t oiled the hinges. Amy jumped off Declan’s lap and smoothed her hair into place.

Before long, as suspected, Naomi joined them, staring at both of them from the hallway.

Naomi rubbed her eyes. “I’m thirsty.”

“Of course, honey. Let me get you some water.” Amy headed to the kitchen, throwing an apologetic look at the rumpled, tousled-haired, incredibly sexy Declan.

“Good night, you two.”

Then he was out the door.

“Why was our neighbor here?” Naomi asked after taking a large gulp of water.

“Well, Declan drove us home, remember? And we were talking. I was thanking him because he carried you and David inside when you fell asleep.”

“Oh.” Naomi seemed to consider this. She set the glass down and headed back to her bedroom.

Amy followed, handed her a pair of jammies, waited for her to change and tucked her back into bed.

“Good night, sweetheart. Thank you for being such a beautiful, intelligent and sweet daughter.”

“You’re welcome.” Naomi yawned, but stopped Amy on the way to the door. “Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” This time Amy didn’t close the door all the way but left it cracked a few inches.

She then quickly found her phone and texted Declan:

I’m sorry about the interruption.

She waited, watching as dots filled her screen while he typed his reply.

Takes me back. Instead of parents interrupting us, now it’s children. Damn, I think we’re old.

He sent an emoji of a man walking with a cane. Amy smiled, shook her head and replied:

Is that a hockey stick or an old man with a cane? Either way, we’re not old. We’re just grown-up.

Declan:

You definitely feel and look all grown-up.

Amy:

So do you.

Declan:

Sorry if I got you into trouble. Are you grounded?

Amy:

Nope. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow?

Declan:

You bet, Tinks.

Years ago, Declan had nicknamed her after the Disney fairy because she was so small in comparison to him. It was said tenderly and always with affection and now it woke up a side of Amy she’d almost forgotten. Yes, once upon a time she was Tinks. Not just Amy, or Ames , or Mommy.

Before she was Mommy, she was fun and carefree and loved a boy with her whole heart.

Amy:

You haven’t called me that in a spell.

Declan:

I’m bringing it back.

Amy:

It’s okay with me. Night.

Declan:

Good night. Thank you for the kissing.

Amy didn’t know how to respond to that, so she laid the phone down on her nightstand while she got ready for bed. She ought to be thanking him for the kissing. Since they’d last kissed, he’d apparently obtained a graduate degree in the sport.

And yes, she wondered, because she was the curious type, what else had improved with age and experience.