Page 38

I don't want to leave Tyler at the apartment Sunday.

After his drop when we got home, I made him take his medicine, gave him a snack to get his levels back up, and then got him in a luke-warm bath.

I didn't want him to be too hot or too cold.

He laid back in the tub and let me wash his hair and body.

There was no playing or funny business. The only water that made it out of the tub were the droplets on my clothes as I helped him move around.

I wrapped him up in light clothes and kept him on the couch with me, checking his blood pressure and heart rate every ten minutes.

Everything was fine soon after taking his medicine, but I still woke up at least once an hour just to make sure he was still breathing. I checked his pulse each time, the only way I was able to go back to sleep. I even angled his head on my shoulder so I could feel his breathing against my neck.

Heading into work today was rough. I got maybe three hours of sleep in total. I had Tyler get up and take his medicine before I left. He might have rolled his eyes when I asked to check his blood pressure before I left. Everything was level.

Nine hours into the shift, I'm on my second energy drink just to stay awake. The Emergency Room is busier than usual and we're staying on our toes with all the patients that are being admitted to our floor. An announcement overhead catches all of our attention.

"Trauma alert. Incoming. ETA ten minutes. Trauma alert. Incoming. ETA ten minutes. Car pile up. Multiple persons, injuries unknown. Peds case times two. Labor and delivery on standby."

"Oh no," my desk partner, Brandy, says under her breath. "I hope they're okay."

"I hope so too," I say. I know that Derrek is on the Pediatric floor. I'll have to check with him before my shift is over to see if he has any updates on the kids at least. The trauma alert repeats itself.

My cell phone rings and I see the number for my charge nurse. "Hello?"

There are no pleasantries on the other line. "They need help in the Emergency Room. The department is already short staffed today, we're going to have to reroute at least two of them."

As a level two center, I know that we have a trauma team that is equipped to handle events like these, but I'm also part of the backup team if they need help.

"I'm on my way. Do we need any extra supplies?"

"Just you, and maybe another nurse if you can spare one. I knew you would answer."

"Would a Peds nurse work? Can you call and see if Derrek is available. I know he's working today."

"That would be amazing. I'll call over and hope he can come down," she says.

I hang up that call and shut down my computer as fast as I can. "The bat signal calls," I say to Brandy. She nods and picks up her phone.

"We'll cover your patients. Go save lives."

I jog down to the elevators and press the button. I pull my personal phone out while I'm waiting and shoot off a quick text to Tyler that I might be home late.

Brandt

Emergency at work, might be home late. Please remember to take your medicine and call someone or 911 if you need. Love you.

I know I'm being overprotective, but with how he looked last night I'm still worried. I pocket my phone when the doors open. It'll take me at least five minutes to walk over to the Emergency Department. The back doors of the elevator open two floors down and none other than Derrek steps in.

"I was eating lunch when I got the call. Thanks for pulling me in on this," he says as the doors close.

Once the doors open again, we both start jogging toward the Emergency Department. It's hectic to say the least. We're directed to different rooms immediately. I'm standing with a couple of the doctors and other nurses. I recognize one of the girls from radiology as well.

There are orders being given, positions assigned. I'm on preparation. I head into the first trauma bay and start going over the checklist. I check every single drawer and double confirm that the crash cart is stocked as well before I grab my own gown and wait with the others.

When the ambulances arrive, it's all hands on deck.

We're moving quickly, vital signs are being called out for each patient.

I'm assigned to the twelve-year-old. I see Derrek is on the infant.

The kid I'm assigned to has lacerations all over his face.

I hear someone saying there's glass in the third patient as they pass the bay to the next one.

"Hey, buddy." I say in the gentlest voice. His eyes are open and I can see tears, but he's not crying. "What's your name?"

"Bobby." His voice is weak, but I can hear him clearly enough. "Where's my mom and dad?"

"They're being helped in another room," I say. I'm not sure if that's true, but we'll need to keep him calm. We'll get more information as we get each patient through triage.

There are more bodies around, passing this and that until we have Bobby hooked up to the monitors.

We start an IV and get some labs drawn. All the while, myself and another nurse are explaining everything.

I see that Bobby has a faded temporary tattoo of a dinosaur on his arm. It reminds me of Tyler and I smile.

"I like your tattoo," I say. "What dinosaur is that?"

"It's a Brachiosaurus," he says.

"Is that your favorite dinosaur?" One of the doctors comes in and looks over Bobby's chart. The others in the room give him the rundown. I see the moment Bobby hears the words glass and removing .

"I have glass in me?" Bobby's eyes are wide, scared. He looks right at me.

"Hey, it's okay." I brush his hair back carefully. "You just focus on me and we're going to let all the other people in this room work, okay? Now, I have a very good friend that loves dinosaurs too, so I know a thing or two. I personally like the Triceratops."

I get him focused on our conversation. He still winces when the other nurse starts to clean his wounds. He'll be here for a while as we check him over and make sure there are no other injuries. We have the ultrasound machine in the room, but he'll most likely go for another, more in depth scan.

"Brandt, can we get your help over here?" The trauma bay has two beds and we have his younger sister in that one. She's only a year old.

"Don't leave me," Bobby says. He reaches his arm out, but winces at the movement. I put his arm back flat on the bed and pat his hand gently.

"I'm just going to go over here and help your sister, okay?

I'm not going to be that far away." I look at the doctor and the other nurse across from me.

"And I bet you that these two right here want to learn all about the dinosaurs you know, okay?

You better teach them well because I'm going to quiz them later. "

I wait until Bobby nods and take off my gloves. I grab a new pair and get filled in on the little sister. Her stats are a bit lower than any of us want. She starts crying as the nurse gets an IV in and tapes it down so she can't pull it out. We get her down to her diaper and start checking her out.

"They're saying it was a five car pile up," someone says. "We're getting more patients in."

"Just focus on the two we have in here," another says. I'm not familiar with everyone that is in the Emergency Room. "If the scans come back clear, we'll move them to a room and work on getting these cuts fixed up."

Time goes by at warped speed. I bounce between talking to Bobby and helping document everything that's done.

I call up to our station and get a room cleared for both of them.

I figure out where their parents are and keep them updated on the status of their kids.

I also keep Bobby updated on his mom and dad as well.

He seems really worried about them. More than he should be for a twelve-year-old.

By the time we get everyone stabilized, it's an hour past the end of my shift.

I'm ready to go home, but I make sure to check on Bobby once more.

I have to grab all of my things from the nurse's station anyway.

Their dad is sitting between both of them.

Bobby doesn't immediately say anything when I walk in.

"Hey, bud. How are you feeling?" Bobby is in the first bed. His sister is in a crib on the far side. Thankfully she’s asleep right now.

"I'm okay." He doesn't look at me. His eyes are red rimmed. I know he was crying earlier, but that was hours ago.

"You don't sound okay. What's going on?" I stand beside his bed. He avoids my eyes for a moment, but then looks up. There are fresh tears in his eyes.

"The crash was my fault."

He starts crying and his dad is right by his side. "Bobby, this is not your fault."

"Why do you think that?" I ask. He still has a finger sensor on and his heart rate starts going up. "Bobby, you need to take some deep breaths. Come on, breathe with me, buddy."

I rub a hand up and down his back. It takes several moments for him to calm down enough to speak.

"I was being mean and yelling at Mom. She got distracted and hit that other car." His voice is so little. I can hear the weight of the guilt he's feeling in those words. "I didn't mean it. I was just upset."

"Bobby, this is not on you." His dad speaks before I can. "We already told you. Mommy was not distracted because of you. This is not your fault."

My heart breaks for Bobby. I see that he hears what his dad is saying, but he isn't believing it.

It's going to take a lot for him to not think that this was his fault.

I stick around for a little longer, making sure that his nurse and the doctor are both aware of what he thinks.

It will affect how they handle treatment and possibly get one of the psychologists to stop by to talk to him.

"I'm going to come back and see you tomorrow morning, Bobby. Get some sleep tonight, okay?"

He's still sullen, but I see him give a small smile. I hope he doesn't carry this with him for his life.

I clock out for the day and pull out my phone. I don't have any texts from Tyler, which is a little concerning. It's past eight already, so I know he'll probably be watching a movie or something. I send him a text that I'm on my way home.

The streets are mostly empty on a Sunday night.

It's a nice night out, not too hot. I roll the windows down and let the breeze blow through.

I don't know if Tyler has eaten yet, which I hope he has considering it's well past our usual dinner time.

I go through a drive thru and grab us both something just in case.

I eat half my food before I even park the car, hungrier than I thought I was. My phone dings as I put it in my pocket to head upstairs. I assume it's Tyler finally responding to me. I push the button for the elevator and press our floor number.

The floor is empty when I step out. I dig out my keys from one of my pockets and unlock the door.

The TV is on, just as I suspected. His bedroom door is open too.

I peek in and see that he must have been playing for a bit tonight.

I don't like the thought of him playing on his own.

I love to be with him when he's in his Little space.

"Ty, I'm home. Sorry, I'm late, but I brought food to make up for it." I kick off my shoes and fix them so they're neatly against the wall. I put my keys on the hook by the front door. There's no answer from Ty. "Baby? Are you listening to me?"

I walk down the hallway and into the living room. He's not in the living room as I suspected. I set the food down and check my bedroom.

Empty.

I walk back out into the living room. There is an empty plate on the counter, which tells me he at least ate.

"Ty? Seriously, baby, please respond to me. Where are you?"

I move back to check the bathroom. The door is open, but he's not in there. Not in a shower or bath. My heart rate kicks up and I start panicking a bit. I pull my phone out and dial his number. I hear it ringing. My head swivels back and forth. I spot the sliding door slightly ajar.

"Tyler? Are you out here?" I push the door open and sigh when I see him sitting in one of the camping chairs we have out here. "Baby, did you hear me calling for you?"

I run my fingers through his hair. He doesn't stir.

I step around the chair and look at his face.

His eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted.

He's wearing a pajama set, pants and a short sleeve button up.

It's green and white striped. It would be cute if I wasn't immediately concerned.

I kneel down, run my hand down his cheek.

"Tyler, wake up, baby." He doesn't move. I shake his hand, squeeze his arm. My panic is back in full swing now. "Tyler. Open your eyes. Please, baby."

I can feel the tears starting, stinging the corners of my eyes. I shouldn't have left him alone today. Not after his levels dropped yesterday. I run back into the apartment, trying to remember where I set my phone down. I find it on the kitchen counter.

My fingers fumble the code twice before I unlock it. I pull up the phone icon and run back to Tyler. His color looks fine, his skin is warm, but his eyes are still closed and he's not responding to me.

I dial 911.