Page 10

"Heading home?" Clara asks. She looks up from the computer at the nurses' station. I give her a smile and nod.

"Definitely," I say. "I'm getting out before another doctor asks me to do something. Is it a full moon tonight, or something?"

She laughs at my joke, but I'm halfway wondering if it is a full moon tonight.

Today has been hectic to say the least. Mondays are always busy, but for some reason today was non stop.

There wasn't any one thing causing it, either.

Just everything hit at once from the moment I clocked in.

I'm looking forward to the quiet of my apartment.

"Enjoy your day off tomorrow," she calls as I walk away. I fully plan to enjoy a quiet Tuesday. Maybe do a facial, watch my guilty pleasure chick flicks, and do more research. I can't lie that since Tyler brought up the whole Daddy/ Little thing, I've been looking into it more.

I've come across a few good things, sites where you can buy items like toys and clothing, and first hand accounts.

There's a group on Facebook, even, for those that are looking to get into the lifestyle or already in it.

I joined the group, but I haven't posted in it yet. I'm not even sure what I would ask.

I pull my phone out as I wait for the cross signal at the street corner.

The parking garage is across the street, which is nice during the summer like today, but it also sucks a bit when it's snowing or raining.

There's a text from Tyler. We weren't able to hang out on Sunday like we discussed, but we're supposed to be going to get some food tonight.

Tyler

Hey, I'm ready whenever you are. Did you want me to meet you?

He sent that five minutes ago. I send him a text back quickly as the Walk signal comes on.

Brandt

I'm coming now. I'll be there in ten minutes.

He sends a thumbs up in response. I hurry to my car, not wanting him to wait any longer. I was supposed to be there when he got off work, but of course, every closing shift task took longer than expected. Last minute requests from doctors will do that.

The weather is nice and I have the air on in the car to cool me off as I drive the few blocks to the coffee shop. I'm surprised to see Tyler standing with his jacket on. He has to be roasting. If he's feeling cold, he’s probably not feeling well.

I stop in front of him and he gets in, putting on his seatbelt before I can say anything. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." He says it like an automatic response. I'm not having that.

"Ty, you're wearing a jacket in…" I check my phone for the temperature. "Eighty-three degree weather."

"I was a bit cold inside," he says. "And you have the air in here. I'm okay."

"Are you feeling okay?" I look him up and down. He doesn't look pale, and isn't sweating that I can tell. "What did you have for lunch?"

"I had a turkey wrap," he says. "Spinach, hummus, whole wheat tortilla. Even paired it with water with added electrolytes. Before you ask, I took my medicine as well."

I don't say anything. Instead, I pull away from the coffee shop front and put on my signal to head out of the downtown area. It's a bit awkward and I don't know what to say. Do I apologize for overstepping? Or is this something he wants in a Daddy, but since I'm not actually his Daddy it's wrong?

Would I want to be his Daddy?

I want to be with him, but do I have what it takes to be what he needs? My thoughts swirl as I turn the car down the main street, joining the bit of traffic. I stop in a line at a red light.

"Are you feeling up for Grill and Bar?" I ask after a few more seconds of silence. "They have a bit of a variety of things."

"Sounds good to me," Tyler says. He doesn't add anything to that sentence.

"Do you know what you want to order?" I ask. I'm trying and failing at making conversation. We’re both adults, going on a date. It shouldn't be this hard for both of us to communicate.

He shrugs. I only see it because I glance over at him before the line of cars starts moving. Grill and Bar is only a few minutes down the road. I sigh and focus on driving.

We sit in silence until I pull into the parking lot and find a space. It's Monday, so it doesn't seem too busy. Tyler undoes his seatbelt, but doesn't reach for the handle. I follow his lead.

"I don't want you to see me as a sick person," Tyler finally says. He doesn't look at me as he says it. "I feel like everything you ask me or text revolves around my diagnosis."

I open my mouth to say something, but I realize that he's mostly right.

Completely right, actually. I thought I was just checking on him, but I didn't think about how it seemed on his end.

Being worried doesn't mean I have to constantly keep checking on him.

It's kind of how I am, though. I worry about the people I care for. It's kind of my baseline.

"I'm sorry," I say honestly. "I don't see you as a sick person, though, Ty. I just want to make sure you're sticking to the plan."

"And I am." He turns to face me. "I've read the information I was given and I've done my own research. And sometimes, I just feel a bit cold."

"Okay." I nod. His tone isn't rude or anything, but definitely doesn't leave room for misinterpretation. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was overbearing."

"I get that you're worried," he says. "I just don't want to feel… broken around you."

Something tugs in my heart at that word. "Ty, you are far from broken. I am truly sorry if I've made you feel like that. I can stop asking you about it or bringing it up."

"I know you mean well," Ty says. "Just maybe not every single time we hang out?"

"You got it," I say. I make a cross over my heart dramatically. I'm a natural worrier, with my job and just in general. I spend ten to twelve hours a day making sure that people are stable and taken care of. I backtrack what I said. "I'll work on it. I might slip up, but I'll do my best."

"That's all I ask," Tyler says. Then he smiles and my shoulders relax. "Now, let's get inside so you can buy me food."

"Oh, I see how it is." I was already planning to pay, of course, but him mentioning it with that playfully snarky tone? I have half a mind to tell him we’re splitting the bill.

We are seated right away in a corner booth, one I requested since it's secluded. There are only a handful of people in the entire restaurant and I don't predict many more people showing up. Maybe we'll be able to talk. The waiter takes our order and walks away.

"So." I get Tyler's attention with that one word. He tilts his head just slightly. It's adorable. "Can I ask you some more questions about this whole Daddy thing?"

Tyler's cheeks turn a bright red almost instantly. It makes my chest squeeze at how adorable it is. He looks around and finally relaxes when he realizes no one is around us to hear. We're not talking loud. "Sure."

"I've done some of my own research, but I know that it's different with each person. I'd like to know why you like it.”

"I like it because I can get away from my issues for a while. Medical, family, financial, you name it. Being Little is freeing and it helps me relax."

"And how Little do you go?" I read different accounts of those that go younger and those that regress to more of a video games instead of blocks age. I know he touched on it last time we hung out, but I want some more information.

"I like toys. Stuffies, building blocks, and such. I'm not into diapers like my friends, though. I do have a couple pairs of training pants hidden away."

I nod, taking that information and storing it. That was information he shared on Thursday, but the training pants are new. "I read something about scenes versus a lifestyle. Are you one or the other?"

Tyler tilts his head side to side, like he's thinking of the correct answer. "I don't know. I mean, I didn't exactly have a place where I could do more than a scene. When I stayed with Mark, it was only overnight or other times, I'd tag along with a friend for a few hours."

"Would you want it to be a lifestyle thing?" I ask. I feel like I already know the answer to that. Tyler doesn't answer, though, and just shrugs. I take that as an answer enough for now. "Would you, maybe, want to try a scene with me?"

Tyler was already looking at me so I can see the switch from general conversation to surprise. His eyebrows raise in unison and I swear his pupils get a smidge bigger. His lips part slightly, like he's stunned and doesn't know what to say.

"We don't have to," I backtrack. "I just thought, maybe, if you wanted to. Nothing big."

"I mean, would you be ready for that? You haven't exactly had a lot of time to wrap your head around it."

"I've read a good bit and it's definitely something I would like to try. I think we can start with something small. If you want to stay at my place again or just for a few hours, we can try it and see how we work together."

"If you're okay with it," Tyler says. He sounds like he still doesn't believe I'm going to enjoy being a Daddy.

Maybe I won't, but the idea of taking care of him in any capacity has me scrolling all forms of social media, and maybe a few videos under a Private tab, most nights since he brought it up.

"I have to work tomorrow, though, so I can't stay up too late. "

"Does that mean you want to stay over again?" I'm getting my hopes up, but there's excitement buzzing through my veins now that we're going to do this.

"If you're okay—"

"More than okay, Tyler." I reach for my drink and take a sip while he nods. "I'll make sure to set the alarm for you, so don't worry about anything."