Page 163 of The Enforcer's Revenge

Tino sighed heavily and admitted honestly, “I didn’t do it because she called me. I missed it too. I fucking love being on a team with you. It’s the only thing that kept me alive after I broke up with Bri. I had times when I could barely breathe without you around, so don’t sit there acting like it’s a one-way street. We’re equally dependent and fucked-up.”

“I know, but she did call you and tell you I was turning off without you,” Tony said sadly. “Cry all you want, but if you go down, it’s very possible we all go down with you.”

“I am literally the last man on the fucking planet who should be responsible for this many people’s ability to cope with reality.” Tino covered his face with his hands to hide because he knew how right Tony was about it. “Important people. Bri’s fucking glorious. She’s literally art in human form. People pay tons of money every night just to watch her be herself. You protect the Borgata and the circle. My family. The people who matter. The one’s who’ve been stepped on their whole lives until you and Maria started taking care of them. Nova literally makes the entire world a better place, and probably keeps the stockmarket standing in the process. Let’s pin it all on this fuck-up in the corner. I feel like God is playing a joke on all of us.”

“No one’s playing a joke. There’s a good reason. You just can’t see it because Mary’s a soulless demon cuntrag who fucked up the way you see yourself. She only cracked the reflection, Tino, not the man,” Tony assured him as he sat there completely unmoved by Tino’s misery. “And just because Mary fucked up what you see in the mirror, and you walk around hating yourself most of the time, doesn’t change the fact that you’re important too. There’s a reason we all need you like we do. You matter.”

“Look, I love you, Tony. I do. You’re my original ride or die, and you always will be, but I don’t want this to hurt Chu either,” Tino tried to explain in a way that he understood. “And maybe we should try to untangle this shit between you and me. Really, if we look at it, I’ve hurt you the most. I’m still hurting you. You dropped a car on a motherfucker yesterday because of me, and you’re about to do some really creative shit to a whole crew of Russians next week. That’s fucking ugly. Just because you don’t care, doesn’t mean?—”

“Nope,” Tony cut him off. “Don’t use me as an excuse. I’m not part of your pity party, and don’t give me that shit about Garcia, like he is some innocent, no cherry, fragile Southern flower. I’m the one who cut the bullets outta that Puerto Rican’s balls in Miami, and I Googled what that tattoo on his arm means. Your buddy is a cold-blooded motherfucker, and we both know it. You’re not trying to save him. You’re trying to save yourself. Like I said before, you can’t hustle a hustler. It’s not about him, it’s about you. We both know why you want him to go, and it has nothing to do with his non-existent cherry. So, choke on it.”

Tino was quiet after his speech. Finally, he settled on, “It’s not a lie. I don’t want this life to hurt him or Alaine.”

“But that’s not why you want him to go.” Tony wasn’t going to drop it. “Either you say the real reason, or I’m pulling over andgetting outta the car. I’ll take the subway home, and it won’t be to East Harlem. You’re about to be on your own with this whole shitshow if you’re going to try to lie and manipulate me every five seconds like I’m some fucking normie on a different team. It’s an insult.”

“Fine.” Tino swallowed hard, feeling exposed and hating it worse than admitting to the blow. “You’re right.” He held up his hands in defeat. “Is that the point of this? I have to be miserable and uncomfortable and admit it to you even though you already know the reason. You want me to say it out loud? You have to hear it?”

“Yeah, actually, I do, ‘cause this lying bullshit sucks. How the fuck am I supposed to play the game if you can’t be honest with me about it?”

“I can’t handle him finding out about the Brambinos. Happy now?” he choked as he said it. “He fucking freaked in Miami over what happened. He lost his fucking mind. I watched him do it. He was going to let them kill Alaine rather than let her live one day in a reality I lived for five fucking years! He’d rather Alaine be dead than walk out of that house with the same scars we have. Do you think he’ll ever look at me the same again? Because he won’t. I’ll be disgusting to him forever, and I can’t deal with that.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Tony shook his head. “Just marry this motherfucker already.”

“Even our little bro Canner knows the Brambinos used to sell us. Everyone in the underground knows. He’ll find out. Think I’m selfish. I’m stupid. Whatever. You still have to help me get outta this situation because I can’t deal with the alternative.”

“I can’t help you, because you’re right, someone is going to say something to him.” Tony shrugged. “And we can’t do it without him.”

“We could,” Tino argued. “You could just stop busting my balls and help me send him back to Kentucky. Everything could go back to the way it was before. You’ll have nothing to be jealous about.”

“Except it was fucking awful before,” Tony reminded him. “It almost killed you. As bad as it was for Brianna, it was a thousand times worse for you. Did you forget how hard it was, Tino? Are you that tapped out right now?”

Tino stared out the window, wishing he’d done so many things differently, but all he said was, “I didn’t forget.”