Page 19 of The Enforcer’s Rejected Mate (Red River Rejected Mates #1)

Chapter

Twelve

CORDELIA

I stare at the map in my hand and turn it this way and that before I think I’ve figured out which way is North. I’m not the best with directions but I’ve never had to be on account of never being allowed to leave Frostclaw Territory.

“Shoot,” I whisper as I tilt the map close to the dying light shining in from the window.

I’ve been on the road for five hours now.

We just stopped at a little diner where I was able to buy the driver a cup of coffee and a donut as a thank you for sending Keiran packing.

I learned his name is Gus and he’s been driving the route I’m on now for twenty years.

“Must have been big.”

“What was big?”

“The trouble you must have been in to have that wolf after you,” Gus said while we sipped our coffee at the counter. “Your people know where you are?”

“Is it that obvious?” I asked with a bitter smile. Thankfully Gus didn’t press about Keiran or what I was running from, especially when he found out I was looking for Bloodstone Territory.

He let out a low whistle when I handed him my map.

“Out of the frying pan and into the fire with this one,” he said as he drew me an X for where I was meant to go for Bloodstone Pack.

“It’ll be a hike out there from the bus stop.

Those people stick to themselves. Might be able to get you a ride with someone from town, though.

Know a few people out that way you can trust for a ride. ”

A ride was appealing but I didn’t know how good of a first impression it would give the pack if I showed up with a human ride.

Even if I don’t remember my old home, I know shifters and the easiest way to get them riled up is to bring a human into the mix.

A human in Frostclaw would have been unheard of.

The easiest way to keep the peace will be going on my own on foot.

“Oh, no, I can hike it. It’ll be nice. Relaxing.”

Gus didn’t look the least bit convinced.

I’ll have to give my new friend the slip as soon as we get to Oak Fast because I just know he’ll try to make sure I make it to Bloodstone territory safely.

I lean back in my seat and trace my finger along the route Gus drew on the map and try to figure out the easiest way to the X.

It’s east of Oak Fast from the looks of it, maybe a day's hike away. Easily done. My palms prickle and I almost break into a sweat just thinking about walking into a new pack and introducing myself.

What if they don’t like me?

My wolf perks up at my distress. I have to clap a hand over my mouth to stop the rumble of her low growl when she starts to look for threats.

“Chill out,” I whisper to her and myself.

If I get worked up she’s going to think I’m being attacked and that’s the last thing I need on a bus full of humans.

I take in a calming breath and then another.

If the pack doesn’t like me well, I’ll survive.

I always have. At least this time I have my wolf.

I pop a couple of nuts into my mouth from the food Maud packed me and will myself to relax.

If they don’t take to me then I’ll do exactly as Maud instructed and find Jazzy.

She’s never steered me wrong before, so why would her sister?

“Everything is going to work out.”

Rejection is a hell of a drug because the fear stays right where it is.

It digs its claws deep and settles into my bones.

A reminder that it’s always been there. No matter what I try to do there’s no shaking it from the place it’s set up camp in the back of my mind.

Every hour that I’m on the road it gets bigger and louder.

It scratches and digs in deeper until it's impossible for me to think of my potential new home without worrying.

I pat my bag beside me. It’s stocked full of useful herbs and I’m useful if they just give me half a chance to earn my keep.

Unless…what if they already have a healer?

One that isn’t as kind as Maud and sees me as a threat?

What if they have me thrown out on my ass the second I set foot in the pack?

I swallow hard and lean forward to brace my elbows on my knees. I take a deep breath to calm down. “It’s okay. You’ll just turn around and hike right back to Oak Fast. You’ll look for Maud’s sister,” I remind myself. “Everything will work out. Everything will be okay. It has to be.”

Mile after mile Gus drives and with each passing one I turn into a basket of nerves.

With the way I’m feeling the hike out to Bloodstone will be good.

I have to calm down. Not to mention, if I take my time I can try and shift and really let my wolf out like I promised her.

An extra day to myself would be nice. She thumps her tail in agreement and stretches out on her side.

In the hours of anxiety that I’ve wallowed in she’s learned the threat isn’t real.

That it's just me stirring the pot of my own mind and as such she’s taken it on herself to nap the day away.

“Must be nice,” I mutter, rubbing my temples.

I’d give anything to switch places with my wolf.

She’s calmer than me by far. I look back out the windows to see the scenery hasn’t changed much except for the mountains rising up out the horizon.

They’re big. Bigger than any I’ve ever seen before from Frostclaw land.

I raise a finger and trace the jagged outline of the mountains on the window.

I don’t have to look at the map to know that those mountains are where I’m going.

Those mountains are my home.

Home .

The thought settles the worry bubbling up in my stomach.

I yawn and lean back in my seat. It’s warm and cozy on the bus while it rains outside.

Rain drops paint the window and tap on the roof as the rumble of the engine lulls me, relaxing me enough for my eyes to start drooping.

My wolf has the right idea. I should rest too.

I pull my hood up over my head and close my eyes.

When I wake up the bus is stopped and the neon lights of a gas station shine through the windows.

I squint and lift my head in time to see the rest of the bus shuffling to their feet.

We all file off the bus and when I get to the front I see Jenny waiting for me.

She doesn’t have her magazine with her this time.

She gives me a concerned look. “How are you doing, hon’? Getting some rest I hope?”

I stifle a yawn. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I’m no ma’am. Call me Jenny.”

“Sorry, Jenny.”

I fall in step behind Jenny while she power walks to the gas station. Behind us, Gus is filling the bus up. I hesitate in the door of the convenience store to look back at him and he raises his hand in a wave. I wave back and smile. Even if it’s temporary, it’s comforting seeing him out there.

I follow Jenny to the bathroom because I don’t know what else to do.

It’s nice and clean, a lot nicer than the dorm bathrooms I’m used to.

The soap smells like what humans think peaches smell like.

I wrinkle my nose and lift the soap up to sniff it when I’m washing my hands.

It’s too sugary sweet to be real peaches but it’s nice.

I didn’t know soap could smell like this.

“They keep you out at the wolf cult too?” Jenny asks, interrupting my soap sniffing.

I jerk and fumble the bottle of soap, barely managing to catch it before it hits the sink. I don’t even have to ask what gave it away. I make a mental note to not sniff soap in public and set the bottle down to rinse my hands off quickly.

“It’s not a cult,” I tell her because what else am I supposed to say?

Jenny gives me a curious look in the mirror as she washes her hands. “What is it then? I always wondered. I’ve got a cousin in Winthrop that I go to see. That’s why I was there today but I’m from Oak Fast. We’ve got shifters there too but it’s different. I mean, they’re different.”

That perks my interest. “You live in a shifter town?” How much humans know about shifters and our world is a mystery to me.

Just like the idea of shifter towns. No one in Winthrop knows about us, or at least that’s what I thought but Jenny seems to know an awful lot.

Gus had also let on that he knew more than I expected he would.

She nods. “I do. It’s a good place. Safe, good food and people, real cute. And let me tell you, the shifter men walking around there?” She lets out a low whistle. “Like a bunch of superheroes had babies with models. Abs like washboards, shoulders as broad as doors, you feel me, girly?”

I laugh and follow Jenny out of the bathroom. “Yeah, I feel you, Jenny.” Shifter males are attractive. I can’t deny it.

“You know that shifter you were with, he would be handsome. Like a real prince charming type if he wasn’t acting like an asshole stalker.

Some people like that sort of thing. Not me, though.

” Jenny marches over to the magazine rack and starts perusing the glossy covers.

She must need a new weapon. “How’d you end up involved with him?

Sweet girl like you, something you hate to see. ”

Jenny’s question makes me pause because that’s when I realize she doesn’t think I’m a shifter. Gus didn’t seem to either. Interesting when they picked Keiran out so easily.

I hesitate at correcting her and in the end, I don’t. Hello my old friend—rejection. What if Jenny and Gus are only nice to me because they think I’m one of them? I shouldn’t care too much. I’ll never see them after this but… I do care. I care an awful lot.

I bite my bottom lip and give her a shrug.

“Just happened,” I say softly and pick up a magazine.

It’s full of endless pages of cozy decor and pretty furniture.

I pause on a two page spread of a bedroom.

It’s softly lit with candles and a crackling fireplace in a stone hearth.

The bed looks like a fluffy cloud piled high with blankets and pillows.

I’ve never seen something so decadent. Doors open to a patio, green curtains blow in a wind I wish I could feel.

I don’t know what it is about the magazine that pulls me in but I’m hooked.

I lean close and look at the woven carpets on the stone floor, the art on the walls, oil paintings it looks like, some landscapes and others of people, all of them beautiful in their own way.

The paintings rest in gold frames and fresh cut flowers sit cheerily on a trunk at the foot of the bed.

Maud’s hut is cozy and homey but most of her things are functional.

There’s nothing like this in the shared dorms the unmated females live in.

Everything there is practical and sparse.

I’ve never seen a home decorated for the sake of comfort and comfort alone. I’m utterly transfixed by the magazine pages.

“You into interior design?” Jenny asks me.

“I think so?” I say, because it’s true. I don’t know if I am into whatever interior design is but I do know that I like this magazine and the photos of cozy, beautiful homes full of furniture that looks like it's meant solely for pleasure and beauty. I flip through the magazine and listen to Jenny chatter on. We both get fountain drinks and mine is electric blue. I’ve never eaten a single thing that looks this color but it’s addicting from the first sip.

When it’s time to leave I take the magazine up to the register to purchase it.

Jenny has a whole stack of them, she’s not too picky about the magazines she buys.

I see flowers and cakes on one, beautiful women in fancy dresses smile back at me from another and there’s cars on yet another.

I only buy the one magazine, plus a candy bar.

In for a penny, in for a pound, right? I’m already up a blue soda so why not keep going?

I keep my magazine tucked close, shoved under my hoodie to shield it from the rain on our way back to the bus.

Jenny waves bye to me as I head back to my seat and the steady routine of Gus performing his checks calms me while I page through the magazine and munch on my candy bar.

Maud would tsk at me for my chosen dinner but the sweet sugar singing through my veins has a smile on my face.

It’s when I’m looking at the seventh room, this one a kitchen all done up in yellow and green, that I understand why I bought it.

The homes give me hope. Beautifully decorated and serene. They look like safe places to be.

One day, I vow to myself, I’m going to have a safe and beautiful home like this. No one to tell me what I can and can’t do in it. Somewhere safe and quiet. Peaceful.

I page through the magazine until Gus turns off the lights and starts the bus up.