Page 13 of The Enforcer’s Rejected Mate (Red River Rejected Mates #1)

The thought is just a whisper. I want to shove it away because this thought always hurts too much to follow but tonight I follow it this time.

I’ve been outside of pack territory before because I’m not from this pack.

Once, I lived somewhere else and even if I don’t remember it, I know it has to be better than here.

Anywhere is better than here.

I watch the firelight’s shadows while I wait for Maud. I must doze off because the next thing I know Maud is shaking me awake and pulling me to my feet.

“Into the bath with you.”

I stumble after her and I’m thankful for Maud’s steady hands. Without her there’s no way I’d be able to stay upright. It feels like my head is full of cotton. And hells, my body is a mess. A cramp brings me to my knees with a gasp, and that’s when I feel something I’ve never felt before.

Slick.

Oh gods.

I grab at my thighs and shake my head. “Oh no.”

Maud pauses while I have an existential crisis on the floor. “What is it?”

“I’m an Omega,” I whisper. All female shifters get a heat but only Omegas get slick.

How is it that everything just keeps piling up on me today?

Never in my wildest fever dream did I think I would be an Omega.

A beta was the most likely choice and I used to pretend that I would turn out to be an Alpha.

From the way my wolf reacted tonight I hoped that was the case when I shifted.

My first shift would force everything to click into place and make sense. At least, I thought so.

“Can you smell me?” I ask Maud. I raise my wrist up for her to smell and she gives me a sniff.

She shakes her head and makes a face. “No, I only smell Keiran.”

“How do I still not have a scent?” I sit back on my haunches and think. “I-why am I broken? Why does nothing about me come easy? It’s not fair.” I hit my hand on the ground. I’m throwing a pity party right now but could anyone blame me?

Maud doesn’t point out that I’m having a fit and gets me undressed while I wallow.

“I’m broken,” I whisper. “Or cursed, like everyone says. An Omega you can’t scent?

That’s ridiculous. A fucking joke. I’m a joke.

” Blame it on biology and the need to lure in an Alpha to mate but Omegas are the easiest of all shifters to scent.

I always hoped my lack of scent was because I didn’t have a wolf, even if others in the pack had their scent long before they shifted.

I should be happy to be an Omega, and under normal circumstances I would be.

Being an Omega means having a pack and a home always. It means finding a mate will be easy and quick. Omegas are rare and Alphas fall over themselves to court and win one as their mate. Some Omegas in the pack have more than one mate devoted to them, but those are normal Omegas with actual scents.

If I don’t have a scent then finding an Alpha is going to be a challenge.

As much as an Alpha might want to bed an Omega in heat, there’s something about the scent that anchors them, makes them return like a ship to port.

All it would take is another Omega’s scent to lure my Alpha away and destroy everything.

I feel like I’m hollowed out, like all my insides have been scooped out and tossed in the garbage. How is it that I’m so close to getting everything I want and still missing the mark?

“Does this mean I’m not going to be able to find a mate? To keep one?” I ask Maud. If I don’t have a scent how am I going to be able to hold on to my mate?

“Don’t worry about things like that. It’s best to leave it to the future.”

“But how can I keep my Alpha when-”

“Into the bath and no more about scents or damned Alphas,” Maud orders.

I’ve never been one to argue with her so I do what she says out of habit.

Maud hums while she folds my sundress and cardigan nice and neat for me while I sink into the warm water she’s filled her copper tub with.

When I’m settled, she adds a few drops of rosemary and lavender oil to the water, my favorite combo.

I take in a deep breath and grip the edges of the tub tightly.

I look down into the water. The scent of lavender and rosemary fills my nose.

My heightened senses make the normally delicate scents intense now.

I swirl my fingers in the water before I clench my hand into a fist and let my hand drop down to the bottom of the tub.

Wouldn’t the world be so much easier if I smelled like the oils Maud just added?

Maud kneels beside the tub and starts pouring warm water over my shoulders. “Here, use this.” She hands me a bar of olive oil soap. I do what I’m told on autopilot. I’m not here in Maud’s hut, I’m still back in the town square where Keiran rejected me.

“You’re not one of us and you never will be. You’re pathetic and weak, a used up orphan begging for love. You’ve always disgusted me.”

Fresh tears prick my eyes and the soap slips from my hands as a sob racks my body. I curl forward over my knees while Maud rubs my shoulders.

“When will it stop hurting?”

“In time.”

“I feel like I’m going to die.”

“Most do.” Maud moves. I can hear the rattle of bottles before she’s back at the tub with me. This time she’s on the side and she’s holding an amber bottle in her hand. It must be more essential oils.

I lift my head and look up at Maud. “How could he walk away from me like I was nothing? How is he not hurting like I am? H-how could he do this to me?”

She gives me a sad smile. “Keiran is too much like his father. There’s nothing he loves more than power. You know that,” she pauses and then adds, “I promise you he is in worse shape than you. Even if you don’t see it, Keiran Ashland is trapped in his own personal hell.”

I shake my head. “I don’t believe you. You saw him tonight. He was like…” I wrap my arms around my legs and squeeze tight. I can see the way Keiran’s eyes went cold, like shutters being pulled on a house. “He was like an animal.”

“Isn’t that what we are?” Maud asks. She pulls the stopper on the bottle in her hand. The acrid smell of burned fur and sour sulfur fills my nose and I jerk back.

I clap a hand over my nose. The smell is overpowering, there’s no hint of lavender and rosemary now. Just the rotting stink of what’s in Maud’s bottle.

“What is that? It reeks!” I gag and Maud rolls her eyes at my dramatics.

“This is the heat cure you need, girl.” She waves the bottle in front of my face. I dodge her when she gets too close to my nose. “We have to have you on your way tomorrow morning, don’t we?”

I hesitate but nod. “Well…yes….” If I’m not gone, the Alpha is going to come for me. I meant what I said. I would rather die than let him touch me which makes staying an absolute no, so I try again. “Yes, that’s right.”

Maud holds up the bottle. “This is how we’re going to do it then.”

I plug my nose when she gives the bottle a swirl. Whatever is inside swishes against the amber glass. “What does it do?”

“Breaks a heat.”

My eyes widen. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Heats are the one thing female shifters can’t escape. They’re willed by the moon goddess, or at least I thought they were. How is Maud going to break one?

“You can break a heat?”

“Of course I can. They call me a witch, don’t they?”

“I-you’re not a witch,” I insist. Even if I saw her grow to seven feet tall and challenge the Alpha, even though she spelled Keiran and I tonight. Maud has never been a witch to me. “You’re a healer.”

All the knowledge I know about plants and tonics, when to plant carrots for a late harvest and how to mend a broken bone were all taught to me by Maud.

In all that time, I’ve never seen Maud do one magical thing other than shift.

Her wolf is a delicate white wolf with black ears and green eyes.

She’s faster than I might have thought she would be when she’s in her shifted form.

Sadness hits me when I realize I’ll never get to see if my wolf is just as fast.

I shake my head. “You’re not a witch. That’s just a lie they say because they’re all too stupid and scared to think for themselves.”

“Sweet girl, I’m many things to this pack and a witch is one of them. You saw me tonight, you know the truth even if it scares you some. And I’m not just any witch, I’m a powerful witch.”

She’s right, I am scared but I don’t want her to think I’m scared of her. I could never feel that way about her.

“You don’t scare me.”

She winks at me. “I should, but you are right, the pack is dumber than a box of hair. They’re scared of anyone that’s different.” She touches my shoulder. “That’s why they’re scared of you and me.”

“But I-I’m no one. I’m not powerful like you. I’m just an orphan with nowhere to go and,” I come up short and stop talking, “The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to belong somewhere. I wanted that to be here with you and now I have to leave.”

“I know you did. I wanted that too. I love you like my own daughter. I always will, you know that.”

My tears come afresh. “I love you too,” I whisper. We’re quiet again for a second before Maud speaks.

“You give me the word and I’ll end your heat. I’d do it now but you have to be the one to tell me. It has to be your choice.”

I don’t even hesitate, not even with the stink bottle dangerously close to my face. “Do it. End my heat.”

Maud beams at me. “That’s my smart girl. All right, now you just sit tight and let it work its magic you hear me?”

“What do you mean, sit tight?” I don’t understand Maud’s words at first but it all makes sense when she tips the bottle forward and empties the contents into my bath water. It’s purple, a pretty pale lilac color that I’d like if it wasn’t making me gag from the smell.

I lean over the edge of the tub and almost bolt but Maud snaps her fingers. “What did I say about staying put? Now sit.”

I grit my teeth and sit. “Yes ma’am.” I tense up, waiting for something to happen but other than the stench that’s rapidly fading nothing does. I slowly relax when I realize nothing is coming and look at Maud.

“That’s it?”

She nods. “That’s it. You sit in this for a half hour and by the time you’re done that heat is going to be nothing but an ugly memory. Now, come here and we’ll wash your hair. Can’t send you out into the world with dirty hair.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Maud washes my hair carefully. The rhythmic brush of her fingers through my hair calms me enough that I can think clearly enough to mull over my next move.

“I don’t know where to go.”

“Well, there’s a few places you can go with that coffee tin of cash you've squirreled away. There’s a few packs I know that would take you east of here too.”

“Really?”

Maud stands and grabs a fluffy towel from the cupboard. “Of course. You’re a skilled healer and herbalist. Just because this pack refuses to see your value doesn’t mean you won’t easily be welcomed in other places. Come on, get out before you catch a chill.”

I get out of the tub a little easier than I got in.

My body doesn't feel like it’s going haywire.

There’s no slick or burning heat devouring me from the inside.

I breathe a sigh of relief at being able to stand on my own but I still need Maud to keep me steady.

I sit in the chair and start to dry off while she gets another for my hair and a spark of hope comes to life in me.

Welcomed. That’s something I never thought I could be anywhere.

“I-you really think another pack would want me?” My voice shakes but I swallow hard and keep speaking, “I mean, that I could fit in somewhere else? In a different pack?”

“You have more worth than you can ever imagine and I hate that this pack has blinded you to it.” Maud’s brow pinches as she looks me over.

“The way this pack will pay for what it’s done to you will be one of my favorite things to witness.

Once you leave here you will find your place to belong.

I swear it to you. A new pack will be the fresh start you deserve. You will find your home, Cordelia.”

All my life Frostclaw Pack has made me believe there was nowhere that would want me. No home to call my own. I don’t even know when I started to believe them, but I did until the idea of anything else seemed like a fantasy.

The pack was wrong. I do have a home. Home isn’t just another one of my daydreams, not if Maud is speaking it over me now. After all, she’s a powerful witch that threatened to curse the Alpha and broke my heat without so much as a spell.

“How did you break my heat? Was it magic?”

“Oh, that? Just a little trick my Elders taught me. There’s nothing magical about it all. Just think of it as hitting the reset button on biology. It’ll delay your heat, not forever but long enough for you to find your new home.”

“Can I leave now?” I feel stronger after the heat cure. My wolf wolf feels it too. She’s antsy and ready to make a run for it. Excitement makes me turn to Maud so fast that I almost fall out of my seat. I give Maud a sheepish look when she catches me.

“I guess I’m weaker than I thought.”

She gives me a stern look and pushes back into my seat. “You are. Take it slow and rest up. You’ll have plenty of time to get tired once you’re on your way tomorrow. Now dry your hair before you catch a cold. I’ll get you a cup of tea to help you recover.”

Maud hands me a towel for my hair and heads over to her stove to work on a pot of tea.

From the smell of the peppermint brewing in it, I know it well.

It’s a mix of peppermint and licorice. Maud makes it regularly when I need a pick me up after pulling a double shift in the kitchens.

I dry my hair while she busies herself at the stove.

The familiar clink of china on the wooden countertops soothes me.

“The easiest place to start though?” Maud hums thoughtfully. “Well, I do believe that would be south of here.”

“What’s south of here?” I ask. I don’t know what’s south of here.

The town is a bit north and anything outside of that is unknown to me.

A gust of wind rattles the window panes and a branch taps against the glass.

I look outside. There’s so much of the world that I’ve never seen and before tonight I thought I never would.

But after tonight I don’t have a choice.

I’ll be seeing the world all right, I have to.

The carefully ordered systems that made up my life in Frostclaw are gone.

The walls of my life have been pulled down.

There’s nothing left here for me, but there’s something I’m slowly realizing as I sit in Maud’s kitchen and stare out the window.

Maybe my rejection isn’t the end of my story but the beginning because there’s a whole wide world waiting for me now.