Page 41 of The Enduring Universe (The Rages Trilogy #3)
IRAVAN
Iravan gave himself to darkness.
He fled the Garden, everpower carving a path for him, and he blindly followed, carrying Darsh’s body. Rock, earth, root, all of it exploded, leaving a maze behind—but he continued to flee, far from them all. The plates of the planet shifted as Iravan hurtled deeper into unknown mountains. Once a creature of the skies, now he folded the earth around him, escaping, but he didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to leave before he hurt someone else. He needed to lock himself away, even if it meant he would never see daylight again. A treacherous, rough path opened in front of him, and he placed one foot in front of the other, long legs moving fast, scrabbling, climbing, sharp, jagged rocks tearing at his clothes and skin, leaving bloodied marks behind. He moved until he could move no more. Until Darsh’s weight in his arms grew heavy, and his entire body trembled.
Iravan sank to his knees, surrounded by cold rock. Light gleamed in this pit, radiating from his skin. The cave he’d trajected was only wide enough to hold him and the body but no more. Loose rocks rained down on his hair, and he heard the furious crash of rock in the earth.
Here, all was silent.
He brushed Darsh’s limp hair aside. He touched his cold body with his fingers, cupping the boy’s cheek. Darsh’s eyes reflected no light. He looked so much younger than fifteen, just a child who had trusted the wrong man. Who had worshipped a monster. Tears cascaded down Iravan’s face, and his chest hurt. Holding the boy close to him, Iravan wept, careening into disbelief then horror.
Half-descended into madness, he tried to traject into the body. He had all this everpower. He could use it. Air eddied in front of him, and he forced some of it into the boy’s lungs. Breathe, he commanded. Breathe, and live, and forgive me.
The body spasmed, unnaturally so, and he knew that though he could do many miraculous things, this one he could not. Consciousness had already left Darsh, and even everpower could not achieve the impossible.
He clutched Darsh’s body and howled. Images chased each other in his broken mind—of Oam who had been so frightened, and Viana whose skin had erupted with bones, and Bharavi who had screamed his name. Death has become such an easy answer for you, Ahilya had said, and he grieved because she was right. He had loved this boy, and thought of him as his own, but fatherhood had always been denied to him. This was inevitable. Perhaps in giving Darsh his affection, he had brought about the boy’s demise.
The questions seeped out of Iravan. A horrible clarity grew in him. Still clutching Darsh, he pushed the everpower into the rock around him, shrinking the space, enclosing himself in a silent tomb. Roots grew from the rock, wrapping around him so he couldn’t breathe. Slowly, methodically, Iravan sought to destroy himself, because now he could see how he had brought all this about. He turned the everpower into his body—
Something knocked him away, and he looked up blearily. The three visions were not three anymore, they were amalgamated, and in his deranged mind he saw the falcon-yaksha fly to him like a creature of legend.
It was small enough to perch onto his shoulder, a thing made of light, and though he could feel its weight, Iravan knew the falcon was not really there—but what was real anymore? The falcon’s crooning was like a song of seduction, and in that moment, Iravan saw how everything he had done had been at the falcon’s bidding. He had never wanted war with the Virohi. He had never wanted to destroy. Ahilya had asked him what his capital desire was really worth, whether making amends really was the same as destroying the Virohi, and he thought, You have corrupted me, as the falcon chirruped on his shoulder.
Iravan’s hand shot out to clasp the bird’s neck, but the falcon only laughed, dissipating to reform around him—mirrored a thousand times, a million times. The creature became massive within Iravan’s eyes, and he felt its rage and corrosive hate bleed into him. In the folded space of the amalgamated three visions, the falcon’s wings wrapped around him. His Etherium blinked in and out—a sludge of reality—and his past lives surrounded them, their eyes glinting silver. Each of those past lives had a tiny bird perched on their shoulders.
Help me, Iravan thought desperately—but Nidhirv, Mohini, Askavetra, Bhaskar, and behind them a thousand other lives, all crowded him. His vision condensed to a single chamber of darkness, silvery lights surrounding him as the past lives stalked him. He discerned the coldness in their gazes. He retreated blindly, stumbling and tripping, rock cutting him. Too late, he understood. He had let the falcon in too deep—allowed it to infiltrate and infect his past. His past lives were its minions now, their desires corrupted as he once had been.
They loomed in his vision, their skins glowing iridescent blue, then silvery, as if they were fighting the falcon’s control too. Iravan saw the moment when the falcon took over. Nidhirv’s face twisted into a cold smile. Askavetra’s mouth went slack, while Agni howled in feral laughter. Their bodies grew bigger, and they reached down, their hands overlaid atop each other, resembling silvery wingtips as they strangled Iravan.
He struggled, weeping, as the falcon’s intent poured into him. He saw Ahilya within his Etherium, a shadowy haze, and knew that she was coming for him. No, he thought frantically. No. Stay away.
He couldn’t breathe. The falcon gleamed, and—he didn’t even see it coming—he couldn’t tell how—
His visions vibrated like a dewdrop in the wind, then a great distance opened up between him and his thoughts. He viewed his body moving from afar. The way it trajected the everpower, earth and mud swirling in front of him, the immense constructions being made with purpose. His body half-flew, half-strode through a labyrinth as above him rock shot up thousands of feet. Stairs grew, and beyond it a familiar city full of spires and towers appeared, a gift he had once thought to make.
He recognized the trap. He fought to free himself.
The falcon tightened its talons—Nidhirv, Bhaskar, and all the others, pressed down, their knees over his chest and arms, pinning him while he struggled—
Iravan shrank.