Page 21 of The Duke’s Reluctant Muse (The Untamed Nobles #3)

Jonathan stepped into the ballroom, his brow heavy. This was not a place he wanted to be but he had no choice but to attend, given that this was where Miss Jeffries was. He had come to call too late, having been caught up with a sudden, desperate urge to see her, only to be informed that she and her brother were now attending Lord Allington’s ball.

I was foolish to stay back from her for so long.

Sighing, he stepped a little further into the room, aware that whenever he caught someone’s eye, they quickly looked away from him. Surely it was not going to be as it had been before! He had done nothing to upset society, had he? Indeed, he had quit the soiree rather quickly and had returned home in order to think upon all that Miss Jeffries had told him but that had not been an insult to anyone.

I should have come back to her sooner than this.

The scowl on his face deepened though the moment one young lady’s eyes widened upon seeing it, Jonathan quickly fought to push it out of his expression. He did not need to give the ton any further whispers about him. From what he had been told from Miss Jeffries about Lady Ludlow, he feared she might have started whispering about him already.

Spying a familiar face, Jonathan quickly made his way towards Lord Dalton, picking up a glass of brandy as he went. Lord Dalton was frowning heavily, one hand rubbing at his chin as two other gentlemen spoke to him, their eyes darting this way and that. When one caught Jonathan’s approach, he quickly stood straight, nudged the other and, after a moment, left Lord Dalton’s side.

“Good evening.” Jonathan followed the movement of the two gentlemen with his eyes, seeing one of them glance over his shoulder towards them both. “Is something the matter?”

“Yes.” Lord Dalton’s frown lingered. “I have just been approached by Miss Glendale’s cousin, Lord Yardley. He has suggested that I stay back from you, so that nothing will go wrong in my courtship of Miss Glendale herself.”

“Stay back from me?” Surprise slammed into Jonathan’s chest. “Why should you do such a thing as that?”

“Because evidently, you are a gentleman without honour.” Lord Dalton quickly put one hand onto Jonathan’s shoulder for just a moment. “Of course, I have no intention of believing what is said, though it does trouble me that it is being said.”

Jonathan closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. “I think Lady Ludlow is behind this. She warned Miss Jeffries to stay away from me, else she would be caught up in some expected difficulties that were soon to follow after me – difficulties that I am sure she was to put into motion herself.” He looked back at his friend. “I presume these are the difficulties that she was talking about. Might I ask what has been said?”

Wincing, Lord Dalton looked away. “I fear then that Lady Ludlow has said this deliberately in order to involve Miss Jeffries.”

Jonathan’s heart slammed into his chest. “What do you mean?”

“Lord Yardley has told me that you, having been asked to step in as Miss Jeffries’ chaperone, had no intention of doing as you ought. Instead, you have been seeking out a connection with the lady – a connection that would suit your own desires rather than a genuine one, you understand.”

Ice formed around Jonathan’s chest as his friend looked back at him. “A dalliance?” he asked, a little hoarsely. “The rumour is that I have sought Miss Jeffries out for a dalliance?”

“Her name was not mentioned specifically but it is not difficult to understand who it is that is being spoken of, given that you were not chaperone to anyone else.”

Jonathan ran one hand over his eyes. “This is quite dreadful.”

“I know that Lady Ludlow spoke ill of you some years ago,” Lord Dalton continued, scowling, “so I am less than inclined to believe her now, especially given her character but there will be many that will do so.”

“And many in this room that will hear of it and believe it,” Jonathan muttered, half to himself. “And she is here this evening too.” He could not imagine how Miss Jeffries might react upon hearing what was being said of her, horrified that her connection to him would bring about such damage to her reputation – for that would be exactly what would happen. Those who heard the rumor would only spread it and soon, many of the ton would look down upon Miss Jeffries, even though she had done nothing wrong. She might even be given the cut direct!

I cannot allow that to happen.

“What are you going to do?” As though he had heard Jonathan’s silent determination, Lord Dalton searched Jonathan’s face. “You must do something, surely.”

Jonathan thought quickly, soon coming upon the only solution he could think of. “I – I must counter it. I must counter the rumour, make it appear that Lady Ludlow is either confused or deliberately speaking ill of me. That is the only way to protect Miss Jeffries’ reputation.”

Lord Dalton nodded. “I quite agree though what exactly are you going to do?”

Jonathan swallowed hard, a fierce hope building in his chest. “I must tell the ton that we are betrothed.”

His friend’s eyebrows rose sharply.

“I know that I have not asked her such a thing and I certainly have not spoken to Lord Dennington but it is the only thing that can be done,” Jonathan continued, looking all around him. “If I can find her, then...”

“I do not think there is time. Lord Yardley has, no doubt, gone to tell others of what he has heard.” Lord Dalton held Jonathan’s gaze steadily as his heart began to beat furiously. “This is something that you must address now . Every minute that you say nothing is another chance for the rumour to spread.”

A slight sweat broke out across Jonathan’s forehead. Could he dare do such a thing without even speaking to Miss Jeffries first? It was the only way out that he could see and, truth be told, it was something that he desperately wanted. He needed to see her, to explain about all that he had been feeling and his absence from society the last few days – but Lord Dalton was right. If he delayed, then the rumor would spread and he could not let that happen.

I must hope that all that I feel is returned.

“Very well.” Taking a deep breath, he turned his head and looked across the room to find someone with whom he might speak.

“Come with me.” Lord Dalton gestured ahead of him. “There is Lord Yardley. You can address the rumour directly that way.”

With a nod, Jonathan fell into step beside his friend, seeing Lord Yardley’s eyebrows lift as they approached. Lord Dalton smiled warmly and it took Jonathan a moment to realize that he too ought to appear just as jovial as he could be, given the supposed good news that he wanted to share.

“My friend! I have just been speaking to the Duke of Nottingham about what has been said of him and I believe that he has something to tell you.”

“Oh?” Lord Yardley’s face flushed but he looked back at Jonathan directly. “You are aware of the rumour, then?”

“Of course I am, though I am disappointed that my most wonderful news has been tainted by a vile rumour,” Jonathan answered, aware that a few heads were now turning towards him as he spoke. “I must assure you, Lord Yardley, that there is nothing true in what you have heard. Nothing whatsoever. Instead, it is quite the opposite.”

Lord Yardley frowned. “I do not understand.”

“Then permit me to explain.” Ignoring the knots in his stomach, Jonathan forced a grin. “I am not seeking a dalliance with Miss Jeffries. Rather, despite the fact that I was meant to be acting as her chaperone, I found myself drawn to her. Thus, I have asked for her hand and we are now betrothed!”

Lord Yardley’s eyes widened but there came many a gasp from the onlookers who were clearly eavesdropping, though Jonathan did not permit his eyes to glance towards any of them. Relief poured into him as Lord Yardley began to nod, then stuck out his hand for Jonathan to shake.

“My sincere apologies, Your Grace,” he said, as Jonathan grasped his hand. “I spoke out of concern for my cousin, which I hope you must understand.”

“I do. It is to be expected and speaks highly of your character,” Jonathan answered, fully aware of the whispers which now surrounded him like a rushing river. “But I can promise you that there is no truth in it. Miss Jeffries and I are to be wed by the end of the Season and I am truly overjoyed by her acceptance of my hand.”

Lord Yardley smiled. “Wonderful. I am very glad to hear it. I shall be sure to make my way around those I have spoken to previously – only one or two, you understand – to state that Lady Ludlow must have been mistaken.”

Hearing the name sent a shudder through Jonathan though he quickly nodded, trying to hide it from anyone watching. “I thank you.”

“It does seem very strange to me that Lady Ludlow should make such a grave mistake,” Lord Dalton interrupted, clearly aware of those who were still listening. “I do hope that she is not trying to cause trouble as she has done before, Your Grace. You are very happy, as is Miss Jeffries, and I can see no reason for anyone to try and break that apart. Lady Ludlow ought to be berated for saying such untruths.”

“Indeed,” Lord Yardley agreed, as Jonathan smiled his thanks to Lord Dalton. “Do excuse me now, Your Grace. I shall do as I have promised and speak only truth from now on as regards your betrothal. Might I offer you my congratulations before I take my leave?”

Jonathan inclined his head. “I thank you. Good evening, Lord Yardley.”

Turning, he made his way across the room with Lord Dalton beside him, quite sure that the sudden hubbub in the ballroom was because of what he had just revealed to Lord Yardley. “Thank you for your encouragement in this, Dalton.” He glanced from one side of the room to the other, trying to find Miss Jeffries. “I think I must now go and find Lord Dennington and the lady herself.”

“No doubt the news will have reached her before you can find her,” Lord Dalton told him with a wry smile. “But I wish you every success and every happiness.”

“I thank you.” Stepping away, Jonathan slowly began to make his way around the ballroom, taking in as many faces as he could though, he noted, a good many were glancing towards him and then whispering to another, just as they had done before. Now, however, he hoped that it was news of his betrothal upon their lips.

Where is she?

He had almost walked the entire way around the ballroom when, elbowing his way through the crowd, came none other than Lord Dennington. Jonathan’s heart almost stopped in his chest at the dark expression upon his friend’s face, fearing now that he had done the wrong thing in trying to save Miss Jeffries’ reputation.

“Nottingham.” Lord Dennington nodded in the direction of a door that led to a hallway. “My sister is waiting in the parlour. I think it would be good if you could both speak privately.”

“Thank you, Dennington.” Jonathan hesitated, pressing his lips together for a moment. “I am sorry if there has been any upset caused. I did not know what else to do.”

Lord Dennington let out a long sigh, shaking his head. “I do not blame you, my friend. This was Lady Ludlow’s doing, was it not? Trying to shame you, just as she has done before and, at the same time, pulling my sister into it also – no doubt because of her refusal to stay away from you.”

Greatly relieved that Lord Dennington was not about to turn on him and berate him for the choice he had made, Jonathan could not help the long sigh which broke through his lips.

“You care for my sister, do you not?” Lord Dennington’s eyes searched Jonathan as he slowly began to nod. “I can tell, my friend. You had every intention of speaking with me about her some days ago, but you were interrupted.”

“Yes.” Jonathan spread out his hands. “The truth is, Dennington, I have not known what to do with my feelings for they came upon me unexpectedly and since then, I have found them growing with a fierceness that has quite astonished me.”

His friend smiled. “It seems that you and I have found ourselves in similar situations, for I have felt the very same when it comes to Lady Annette.”

With a wry smile, Jonathan let his hands drop to his sides. “I did not think that I would ever feel so strongly for any person. Indeed, I was drawn to those other three ladies but the connection I have with Elizabeth is something that defies comprehension.” He let his shoulders drop. “I do hope that she was not too overwhelmed when the news came.”

Lord Dennington’s scowl returned. “She was a trifle, yes, but that is not solely because of you. She was told of the first rumour only a few minutes beforehand – Lady Annette came to speak to us – and I saw the fear on her face. In that moment, I believe she saw her future crumbling around her, saw what the ton might do by their determination to cling to whatever whispers they had heard of her.” The scowl slowly began to fade. “And then some other ladies rushed towards her and began with their congratulations and, as they spoke, the fear she wore began to lessen. So indeed, she has been a little overwhelmed by it all but I think that she will see it as I do – that you have saved her from ruination.” The edge of his mouth lifted. “And that you will offer her a future happier than anything she might have ever imagined for herself.”

“I shall.” Putting one hand to his heart, Jonathan held his friend’s gaze steadily. “You know that I will care for her, Dennington. I am quite in love with her and want nothing more than to bring her happiness for every single day of her life.”

His friend grinned, the scowl gone completely now. “Then go and tell her,” he said, with a chuckle. “She is waiting for you. Come, let me take you to her.”

Without another word, Jonathan nodded and then followed after his friend, his heart beating furiously. He did not so much as glance at anyone else, fully aware of the darting glances and the exclamations which followed his progress through the ballroom. All of the ton present would be speaking of him now but there was only one person that he wanted to see – Elizabeth.

“Here.” Lord Dennington stepped to one side, gesturing to a door that was a little ajar. “Lady Annette is within also but I know she will step out once you arrive. And she and I shall wait here for a few minutes.”

Jonathan nodded, struggling to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. He felt himself tense, his hands curling into fists as he fought to find the right words to say to her. He did not know what her expression would be when she saw him, a little fearful that she would turn her head away from him, tears splashing onto her cheeks.

Courage, he told his heart, lifting his chin and, with another breath, stepping into the room.

“Elizabeth?” His voice was rasping as his gaze finally settled on her, seeing her sitting with her head bowed, her hands clasped lightly in her lap. “Might I speak with you?”

As Lady Annette slowly sidled out of the room, Jonathan made his way towards Elizabeth, seeing her head finally lifting though, much to his upset, she was not smiling.

“I am sorry.” It was not what he had intended to say, certainly, but the words came from his heart. Bending down in front of her, he looked up into her face, her eyes seemingly a little darker brown than usual. “I did not mean for it to happen this way.”

She closed her eyes, her breath sighing out of her. “I know you did not.” There was a tremor to her voice and Jonathan’s stomach twisted upon hearing it, afraid now that she was truly broken-hearted over what had happened.

“It was Lady Ludlow,” he said, daring to reach out and settle his hand over hers. “But all the same, Elizabeth, I would have come to ask you for your hand. It is what my heart truly desires.”

A single tear fell to her cheek, her gaze finally meeting his.

“It is quite true,” he continued, letting his fingers curl around hers. “I stayed away from you for too long, Elizabeth, and now I regret my absence. Had I not done so, then this situation might never have occurred.”

She blinked quickly, though no more tears fell. “Then you forgive me?”

“Forgive you?” Pushing himself up to standing, Jonathan moved to sit next to the lady, though his hand never left hers. “What is there to forgive?”

“My deceit?” Her eyes began to flood again, her gaze darting down towards their joined hands. “I wrote to you pretending to be my brother and...”

“It was not deceit with the intention to harm,” Jonathan interrupted, as gently as he could. “You wanted to help me and you did. In so many ways.”

Elizabeth sniffed but let herself look back into his face again. “I did not mean to cause you any distress. I should have told you sooner than I did but I was afraid of what your reaction to this news might be.”

Jonathan winced. “And I did nothing to help that fear, given what I did in stepping away from you and, thereafter, hiding myself away.” He shook his head, dropping his chin down. “The truth is, Elizabeth, I was embarrassed by what I had written in those letters, mortified to know that you had read my words. I revealed more of my thoughts, my considerations and the like in those letters than I had ever intended for you to know and it was that which kept me back from you.” He licked his lips. “I feared that you would think less of me.”

“But I think more of you!” Her exclamation had his head lifting, his eyes searching hers.

“In what way?”

Finally, a smile caught her lips. “From recognising that you had need of help! To reach out to my brother in the first place and seek assistance takes a great deal of honesty with oneself, does it not? Not every gentleman would do such a thing and yet, you were willing to do so. You made yourself vulnerable and in that, there is great strength. I cannot tell you how much I admire you.”

Jonathan’s heart tore as he realized just how much he had injured her in stepping back from her in the way he had. He let his eyes close for a moment, taking in a long breath as he felt the regret of his actions stab at him. “I am sorry, Elizabeth, for not trusting that your view of me was as you have just said. We have shared such a close connection these last few weeks and I should have thought about that rather than focusing on my own mortification.”

“Yes, you should have.”

Jonathan looked up at her, seeing her smiling gently.

“But you have come back to me now.”

“Not in the way that I wanted,” he confessed, pressing her hands gently. “Elizabeth, I wanted to speak to you in private, to tell you of my regret and to offer you my apologies – and to tell you that I want nothing more than to have you by my side, always.” It was not the most delicate, nor the most flowery way of speaking when professing one’s heart but it was all that Jonathan could do, wanting her now to see just how much he cared for her. “I meant to speak to your brother about my feelings and my intentions towards you, but I was interrupted and then did not pursue another opportunity. My heart has nothing but you within it, Elizabeth, and even though I have fought against my feelings, even though I have been confused and uncertain about them, I have come now to a place of clarity where all I can see is you and the love I have for you. A love that is ever growing, that is steady and determined, a love that wishes to hold you tightly and keep you beside me for all the days of my life.”

His heart began to hammer hard in his chest as he looked deeply into her eyes, praying and hoping that all the pain and trouble and confusion would meld together to create something beautiful.

“Oh, Nottingham.” Eventually, Elizabeth let out a breath and with it, a smile that began to spread right across her face. “You must know how deeply I care for you.”

Jonathan’s whole body started with nothing more than sheer relief. “You do?”

“I have been confounded – just as you have been – with all that I feel but yes, I am quite certain that all that I feel at present is nothing other than love.”

A slight dizziness took a hold of him as he looked into her eyes, seeing them gentle as though she knew exactly what it was he was feeling. This was not the way he had wanted to have this conversation but all the same, the outcome had been one that brought him nothing but joy.

“You love me, Elizabeth?” he asked, still hardly daring to believe it. “Even though I have such a heavy cloud weighing upon me still?”

“A cloud that is not of your making,” she said, firmly. “You have done nothing but care for your sister, have you not? You were willing to deal with the difficulties that followed simply because of your concern and care for her. That speaks of your character, that tells me that you are a gentleman of honour, who is willing to sacrifice his own standing for the sake of another. You have had a long, difficult battle but I hope that now, it is over and you might find yourself calm and contented at long last.”

Filled with a rush of affection for her, Jonathan took both of her hands in his own two, leaning a little closer to her, the desire to kiss her growing ever stronger. “It is only because of you that I have found such happiness,” he said, softly. “You guided me through your letters and through your presence. It is because of your unwavering encouragement and understanding that I found myself drawn to you, seeing more of your beauty in every moment of our time together. And now I want that time to continue on, so that we are never far from one another, that we might know the greatest intimacy a gentleman and lady could ever share.”

“I want that too.”

It was not Jonathan himself who closed the space between them but Elizabeth. She leaned into him, her chin lifting, her eyes closing and her lips finding his. Jonathan, a little startled, caught his breath as his whole body hummed with a sudden, fierce pleasure as he finally found the fulfillment of the steadily growing desire within him. With a heart that cried out with happiness, he wrapped his arms around her as best he could and let himself linger, tilting his head just a little so the kiss might deepen. More than ever, this was what he wanted. He wanted to belong to her, to have her as his wife so that he might prove his love to her with every passing day.

“Say you will marry me, Elizabeth.” Barely breaking the kiss, he whispered those words against her lips, his eyes open to search her face, his breathing a little ragged. “I know that I have already announced our betrothal but I must hear it from your lips. I must know that this is what you too desire.”

Her hand pulled from his, only to press against his cheek as she rested her forehead against his own, her eyes fluttering. “My dear Nottingham,” she whispered, as Jonathan’s heart sang for joy, “I accept your offer of marriage. I want nothing more than to be your wife. I love you so very much.”

Jonathan kissed her again, hardly able to believe that his years of trouble, pain and doubt had come to such a wonderful climax. There had been many a time when he had fought back against his own fears, when he had struggled to see even the smallest bit of light in the darkness which surrounded him – but now, all of that seemed worth it for it had brought him to this moment. A moment where he held tight the lady he loved, knowing that she loved him in return.