Page 15 of The Duke’s Reluctant Muse (The Untamed Nobles #3)

Jonathan smiled to himself as he walked back from the milliner’s. It had only been a short errand but one that he had considered important, for his sister had written to request that he send her some lace – some particular lace – and thus, he had done what he could to fulfill her request. They had often exchanged letters the last few years, though she had always encouraged him to return to London and he had always refused. Now, however, he thought he might jest with her that the only reason she had desired such a thing from him was so that she might be sent as much lace as she desired, though Jonathan knew full well that was not the true reason for her hope that he would return.

If only she knew how much of an improvement this Season has brought me, Jonathan thought to himself, making his way along the street, coming near the bookshop where he knew Miss Jeffries and Lady Annette would be. It has turned out to be a most pleasant Season after all, despite my difficulties.

The smile still on his face, Jonathan let his thoughts linger on Miss Jeffries. Lord Dennington had been quite wonderful with all of his advice, of course, but Miss Jeffries’ presence had been an unexpected boon. She had been a great support to him, an encouragement when he had not even thought he needed it – and without her, Jonathan did not know where he might now be. Dancing with her last evening, holding her close as they waltzed had been a delight beyond comprehension. It had been unlike anything he had experienced before, something akin to sheer joy as he had danced with her. Their conversation over supper had been wonderful, helping him understand her, to learn more about her and to see just how caring and kind she truly was. She had opened up her heart to him, telling him about her brother’s headaches, of the strain he had placed himself under, of the sorrow and the dismay that had come with watching him suffer. There had been the relief and the gladness to see him so improved also, of course, but she had told him of his concern about returning home. For once, Jonathan had been able to encourage her and that had brought a new sense of connection between them.

I think I might care for her.

The thought ran into his mind and settled there and Jonathan’s steps came to a slow stop as he considered. It did not bring him any upset to think such a thing, nor did he find himself in the least bit perturbed. Rather, it felt as though he had taken a sip of fine brandy, the heat from the liquid spreading out across his chest and bringing a smile to his face.

What will Dennington say?

That made his smile slip. He was not certain what Lord Dennington’s feelings on the matter would be. Would he be pleased that Jonathan had an interest in his sister? Or would there be a firm rebuke?

Frowning hard, Jonathan rubbed one hand over his forehead. These thoughts and feelings were all a little too new, he decided, and he certainly did not need to make any sort of decision now. He could ponder them a little more, let himself think and feel and consider before he did or said anything. Nodding to himself, he lifted his head and made to continue on his way along the street towards Gunters, only for a carriage to pull up near him, catching his attention. As he walked, he turned his head to see who it was, only for a familiar face to reach his eyes.

His breath hitched, his steps stumbling as he stared, almost transfixed, at the lady.

Then, with shock throwing itself at him, hard, he twisted his head away, rounding his shoulders and ducking his head just a little as he hurried towards the bookshop. He had not had any intention of going inside, had not thought to join the ladies but that did not matter now. He needed to get away, he needed to hide from her until he could think of what to do.

Every good thing that he felt, every hint of gladness and happiness evaporated in a single moment. Pulling the door open, he hurried inside and pushed it closed tight. Without even thinking as to where he was going, he strode across the shop floor, making his way to the very back of the shop to where he might hide from anyone who came in.

I pray she has not seen me. Pushing one hand through his hair, Jonathan paced up and down in short, quick movements, keeping as far back from the door of the shop as he could. It was only then that he realized just how hard his heart was hammering, how his breath came in short gasps.

Closing his eyes, he forced himself to breathe at a steadier rate, his whole body screaming with fright and with dread. If she had come back to society, then Jonathan wanted to be anywhere but in London. The difficulty she had caused him, the pain and the trouble had been so great, he had never wanted to see her again.

I was told that she had gone to France, I was very careful to make certain that she would not be here!

“Your Grace?” His eyes slid open as a hand touched his arm. “Nottingham? Are you quite all right?”

“Elizabeth.” It was the first time that he had ever spoken her name aloud but she appeared to him almost as though she were an angel, coming to dispel the darkness around him. “You – you need not… ” He did not know what he was saying, did not know what it was he was trying to ask her. Rubbing his hand over his eyes, he snatched in a breath as the door to the shop opened, afraid that she would step inside… only for a gentleman to make his way inside. A sigh of relief escaped him and he closed his eyes again, a sudden weakness washing over him.

“You are unwell.” Miss Jeffries now sounded concerned, her hand finding his, squeezing it gently. “Should you like me to call your carriage?”

“I am not unwell.” Speaking as quietly as he could, Jonathan opened his eyes and looked back at her. “Thank you for your concern but I am quite myself, I assure you. I have no malady upon me. It is only a great shock which has captured me utterly.”

Her eyes searched his, her hand still holding onto his own. “What can I do to be of assistance to you?”

Jonathan hesitated, uncertain as to whether or not he wished for her to know of this. To tell her a little now would mean telling her all of the truth later – but what choice did he have? He could not step out into the London streets again without being certain that she was gone but nor could he bring himself to go anywhere near the shop window to search for her, for fear that she would step into the bookshop at that very moment!

“Please, Nottingham.” Miss Jeffries moved a fraction closer to him. “I want to help.”

“That is very good of you.” Patting her hand, Jonathan took in a breath and then nodded, assuring himself that he could trust her with this. “If you might, Elizabeth, would you go to the window and tell me whether or not there is a carriage still there?”

Her eyebrows lifted. “There will be a few carriages present, surely?”

“Yes, of course.” A little embarrassed, Jonathan looked away. “It is an ornate carriage, greater than any of the others. The livery of the servants is emerald green.” He watched her for another moment, only for Miss Jeffries to nod and then step away, her hand leaving his and filling him with a sense of coldness as the warmth of her presence went. Watching her, Jonathan stayed exactly where he was, shifting from foot to foot rather than following after her. There was a tension humming through him, a bubbling in his veins that made his muscles tight and his frame burn. Miss Jeffries looked out of the window for a few minutes, lingering for longer than Jonathan had expected before turning around and coming back towards him.

Her eyes were filled with confusion but she did not ask him any questions.

“The carriage left while I was watching,” she said, softly. “If it is the one you described, of course.”

Relief poured over Jonathan. “It was a grand carriage?”

“Yes, very. The servants had green livery and there was a lady handed up into it.” Miss Jeffries tipped her head a little. “A very fine lady, I think.”

A snort broke from his lips. “She gives the impression of being a fine lady but I can assure you, she is not.”

Miss Jeffries blinked in evident surprise but said nothing, making Jonathan scowl at how quickly he had responded. He ought not to have said anything.

“Thank you,” he said, trying to move past the foolish exclamation he had made as quickly as he could. “That meant a great deal to me.”

For a long moment, Miss Jeffries said nothing. She just continued to gaze at him, studying his face as though she were trying to ascertain what had just happened. Then, as he watched, her eyebrows lifted, her eyes rounding.

“This is to do with the scandal some years ago, is it not? The one that involved your sister.”

Jonathan closed his eyes and immediately felt her hand on his arm.

“Forgive me, please.”

When he opened his eyes, Miss Jeffries’ face had gone scarlet and she was looking away, clearly embarrassed.

“I should not have said anything. It is not my place to make assumptions nor to ask you about something that you have no desire to speak of. You have not told me of this and...”

“But you know of it.”

Her hand fell from his arm, her head dropping forward. “I know some, as I have already told you. I have heard the whispers and the rumours – none of which I believe, of course – but they are unavoidable when one is in society.” Slowly, her gaze travelled back up towards him, though her eyes did not linger on his. “My brother shared a little but nothing specific. He has told me often that you are an honourable gentleman and that no rumours ought to be given any weight.”

“I do appreciate that,” Jonathan muttered, pushing his fingers through his hair as he realized that he would have to tell her all regardless. “I have always tried to be so and yet, even in my attempts, I have had society turn their back upon me.”

“Which they ought not to have done.”

“No.” Jonathan winced, then shook his head. “I must appear very foolish to you, Miss Jeffries.”

She pressed her lips together. “Not at all, Your Grace.”

“I will explain all to you, I promise.” Seeing how she still would not hold his gaze, Jonathan reached out to capture her hand, not feeling any hint of animosity towards the lady. “I can assure you that there is nothing wrong in what you have said and in what you know. I value your brother’s friendship highly and his defence of me to you. I thank you for what you have done in assisting me, even though you do not understand why I have asked such a thing nor what it is that I have run from.” He closed his eyes for a moment, a harsh breath coming out from him. “Forgive me for my lack of explanation and for my weakness.”

“You are not weak.”

Jonathan’s eyes opened as Miss Jeffries put one hand on his chest, her eyes suddenly filled with a fire that he had not expected to see.

“You have displayed no weakness here, Your Grace,” she continued, speaking more firmly now. “I have not seen that within you and I certainly would not even think that of you. Whatever it is you have turned from, whatever that lady means to you, it is clear that you have already endured a great deal by her hand. Little wonder that you wish to rush from her! I can imagine that your thoughts must be in turmoil, that your heart must be filled with all manner of conflicting emotions. Do not think for a moment that I either condemn you or think you weak, Nottingham, for I most certainly do not.”

She was breathing hard now, her eyes flashing but her hand now curled lightly against his heart. Jonathan’s mouth went dry as he felt the warmth of her nearness, sensing the desire growing within him to warp his arms tight about her waist and pull her even closer. He licked his lips, all the past troubles seeming to fall away as he gazed down into her eyes, thinking her the most beautiful, the most remarkable and astonishing creature that he had ever met.

“Elizabeth.” He practically whispered her name, one hand reaching up, brushing his fingers lightly across her cheek as she caught her breath, blinking rapidly, her hand slowly falling back to her side though she did not move away. Jonathan also took his hand away, the moment still lingering, capturing them both tight within it as his heart began to roar with an even more astonishing plea – a plea to bend his head and kiss her.

“Elizabeth? Do you think we should – oh! Your Grace! I did not see you arrive.”

Everything shattered as Lady Annette came to join them, her warm words not as welcome as she might have expected. Jonathan cleared his throat and took a step back from Miss Jeffries, inclining his head to Lady Annette. “I thought to come to the bookshop after all,” he said, aware of the slight tightness in his throat, blood now roaring in his ears. “Are – are you ready now to go and have the ice at Gunters?”

“Yes, I am.” Lady Annette beamed at him, though her eyes went directly to Miss Jeffries. “Are you, Elizabeth?”

Jonathan let his eyes turn to Miss Jeffries, seeing how she smiled and nodded but how stars lingered in her eyes as she caught his gaze. He returned her smile with one of his own, his heart trembling with the awareness of all that he now felt… and all that he had just been about to do had he not been interrupted by Lady Annette.

“I am, yes. Your Grace?” Miss Jeffries lifted one eyebrow gently. “If you do not wish to join us any longer, then I would quite understand.”

Appreciating her concern, Jonathan shook his head. “No, I am quite contented to join to you both.” Now that he knew the lady had left in her carriage, he did not feel any great concern any longer. “Come now, let us go. I am sure we will all have a most enjoyable afternoon together.”