Page 16 of The Duke’s Defiant Angel (Dukes Gone Dirty #1)

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E vangeline had never felt so wild. So wanton. She didn’t even recognize herself as she grasped at Raff’s neck, his shoulders, his hair.

Her legs were wrapped around his body, her body pinned against the door with each hard, merciless thrust of Raff’s hips.

And it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t seem to get enough, even as he filled her so thoroughly, she felt like she might never walk again. He was hard and thick inside her, and with each new thrust, he seemed to bury himself deeper.

She welcomed it, but it wasn’t enough. Physically, he owned her. Her inner muscles squeezed around him as she pressed her breasts closer, loving the friction as her nipples slid up and down against his shirt with each movement.

But it still wasn’t enough. There was an ache in her chest. An emptiness that wasn’t touched by the ruthless hammering as he had his way with her.

Why? What more did she want from him?

Her thoughts scattered like leaves on the wind when he reached between them and touched the hard nub at the top of her slit. She cried out, her hips bucking as she rode him hard and fast, her movements unskilled, no doubt, but pure instinct taking over.

His fingers ground into her bottom as he helped her, his other hand working her over furiously as he rammed into her over and over and?—

“Raff!” She called his name as he drove into her one last time, her chest cracking open and her mind reeling as bliss washed through and left her limp.

She heard his groan and felt him pulse inside her as he found his release as well, and for a long moment, they collapsed there together, her arms wound tight around him as he rested his weight against her, holding her up against the door.

The door.

She stiffened as reality returned.

“Do you think anyone heard?” she asked.

She felt his grin against his neck. “Does it matter?”

When she didn’t answer, he straightened with a sigh. “Likely not,” he said. “There was music playing in the ballroom, and few would dare venture into private quarters.”

“Only a duke,” she teased.

His lips twitched slightly. “Or a mad man.”

A silence fell, and more questions than she could handle rushed to her lips. Had he been jealous? Her heart started to race in her chest, a new sort of pleasure forming. Something light and sweet and...hopeful.

He pulled out of her and set her on her feet. Then he found a handkerchief and went to wipe her thighs, but she stopped him, taking it from him instead. “I’ll take care of it.”

He was silent as he watched her.

When she straightened her gown and reached up to try and tidy her hair, he put a hand on hers to stop her. “Leave it.”

“But…” She swallowed hard. Without a mirror, she couldn’t say for certain, but she suspected she looked as though she’d just been taken hard and rough. “Everyone will know.”

His smirk was just barely visible in the moonlight. “That your new husband can’t keep his hands off of you? I should think so. Now they’ll know that you are mine.”

“Was that what this was?” she asked, her voice so soft she was surprised he could hear her.

His fingers came to her chin and tipped her head up. “I wouldn’t want any gentleman out there getting ideas that you were available.”

She tore her chin away as tears stung the back of her eyes. That flickering hopeful sensation was doused so thoroughly it left her cold.

“What’s wrong?” his voice held a taunt that she hated. “Worried your lover will know that you’ve been freshly bedded?”

She flinched at his tone but he clearly misunderstood.

“That’s it, isn’t it? You’re worried that your old flame will know that you’re no longer the innocent virgin he was after.”

“That’s not?—”

“But you’re not that girl anymore, Evangeline. You’re my wife.”

“I know that.”

His jaw worked, and the possessiveness and anger she saw in his eyes had her lips parting with shock.

His gaze raked over her, and she felt more naked now than she had when she’d been bare before him. His thumb touched her lower lip. “Every man out there wants to do what I just did to you,” he said. “But I’m the only one who touches you. Do you understand, Evangeline?”

She wanted to be angry. She wished she could muster some outrage. She’d already made her vows. She’d reassured him time and again. But all she could manage was a nod as he let her go.

“Come,” he said, holding out his arm. “Your mother will be wondering where we’ve gone off to.”

She nodded, letting him lead her out into the hallway and back to the torturously crowded ballroom.

She’d been so miserable when they’d first arrived. So horrified by all the stares and the whispers, and then all the questions and the small talk, her face stiff from fake smiles.

But now…

Now she couldn’t bring herself to care if people stared as they passed.

Her heart had sunk so low she could barely keep up the small smile that was expected of her.

“Shall we?” Raff asked as a waltz began.

She nodded stiffly and didn’t resist when he pulled her into his arms. They were silent for most of the dance, and when he asked her questions, her answers were short and simple.

It was all she could manage because her heart was aching.

It made no sense. But sense didn’t seem to play much of a part in this marriage.

What had she thought? That just because he wanted her body, something had changed?

He’d only ever wanted her body. He’d never tried to tell her otherwise.

She’d been a fool to think that physical intimacy might mean more. She was a fool for wanting more.

When the dance ended, she made some excuse about needing a moment in the retiring room.

Raff’s eyes narrowed on her, but he did not object.

Albert found her when she was on her way back to the ballroom. There were others about, there was nothing inappropriate about stopping to talk to an old friend.

And yet her gaze kept searching out Raff in the crowd, terrified he might see her talking to her former suitor.

“You are as beautiful as ever,” Albert said, his voice low and intimate.

She stiffened. Where once that voice was so welcome, right now it made her ill at ease. Guilt rose up in her even though she’d done nothing wrong. “You shouldn’t say such things.”

When she met his gaze, she was horrified to see pity there. His eyes were soft with kindness, but sympathy, too.

She looked away quickly.

“Is he horrible to you, Angie?”

“Don’t call me that,” she said. But there was no heat in her voice.

Albert glanced around quickly and then leaned in. “I saw the way he spoke to you.” His gaze dropped to her arm. “The way he handled you.”

She swallowed hard, tears choking her throat and stinging her eyes.

“You deserve better, Angie,” he continued.

She took a step away, her eyes filled with tears to the point that she was nearly blind. “We shouldn’t be talking like this.”

“Remember what I promised,” he continued. “I will still rescue you. We can be together.”

Rescue her. She stared at him through tear-filled eyes. He didn’t honestly think she would run off with him, did he?

Yes, the promise had been noble and maybe even tempting on the day of her wedding when she’d been scared to death of the life before her.

But she’d said her vows.

She’d made her decision.

There was no way she could hurt her parents like that, nor Raff.

The thought of Raff had her clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle a sigh.

Oh drat. What on earth had she done?

“Angie?” His hand on her arm brought her back to the moment with a jolt.

“I should go,” she whispered. “He’ll be looking for me.”

She hurried off to find Raff. He would be looking for her. Not because he cared but because she was his possession. That was all she was to him.

It was all she’d ever be.

That was enough for him...but for her?

She ran away from Albert, but she couldn’t run from the truth.

For her, that would never be enough.

* * *

“More tea, dear?” her mother asked.

She was avoiding her husband. The next day as she joined her mother for tea, she couldn’t lie to herself about what she was doing.

All day she’d come up with reasons to be out of the house. To be anywhere but where he might be.

Now here, in her childhood home, she couldn’t avoid the truth.

“You cannot stay here forever, you know,” her mother said.

Evangeline sighed. No. She couldn’t. This wasn’t her home any longer, and to come here out of some childish urge to run away…

It wasn’t fair. Not to Raff and not to her parents.

“I know. I’ll return home in time for dinner.”

“Good girl,” her mother said.

Silence fell. To be fair, silence was not unusual between her and her mother. But right now, it felt heavy. It was a reminder that she wasn’t wanted here either.

She’d never truly fit here—she wasn’t the daughter they’d wanted her to be. But she’d done her job. She’d married well. That was all they’d wanted for her and from her.

She took a sip of tea and sighed.

She’d done her duty. She supposed there was some pride to be had in that.

After her run-in with Albert the night before, she could even admit that perhaps her parents had been right not to indulge her first infatuation.

They must have known that as the first man to show her any attention and to be so kind to her, her feelings were indeed childish. She could see it now so very clearly.

And her feelings for Raff?

Were they merely the result of his attention? Or were they born of some fantasy of the sort of marriage she’d hoped for?

Was there any truth to these feelings, or was she just creating fairytales out of thin air?

She and her mother might not have been close, but she didn’t know who else to ask about these matters. And she desperately needed some insight.

Was it normal to develop an infatuation with one’s husband? And what was one to do if those feelings were not returned?

She set her teacup down with a loud clink that seemed to startle her mother.

“Mother, there is something I should like to discuss.” She bit her lip. “It’s about my husband.”

She cleared her throat and drew in a deep breath, but her mother cut her off with a loud exhale.

“I knew this day would come,” she said, her chin rising stoically as she folded her hands in her lap. “And I am sorry.”

Evangeline blinked. “Pardon.”

“Your father, too,” her mother said. By the way she spoke through a clenched jaw, it seemed as though Evangeline were prying the words out of her.

“You’re...sorry?” she asked, confusion temporarily replacing all her other worries.

“I knew he would tell you,” her mother continued. Her voice held a tinge of bitterness, and her fingers worried the hem of her gloves, her gaze everywhere but on Evangeline. “And really, we ought to have told you months ago.”

Evangeline’s jaw hung slack as she tried to keep up with this turn in the conversation.

“As I’m sure your husband told you, your father’s losses were great.” Her mother kept her gaze on her skirts as she fussed with a seam. “Mr. Foley, obviously, could not marry you without a dowry. He made that clear, and I’m sure he explained as much himself on your wedding day.”

“My dowry?” Evangeline echoed the one word that made sense.

She had no dowry?

Albert had said he could not marry her?

Her mother winced. “It must have been a terrible shock. I’m sorry your father and I did not prepare you properly. But, as you know, His Grace can be terribly persuasive, and when he not only offered to marry you without a dowry but to pay off your father’s debts, as well, you can imagine how relieved we were.”

Her mother kept talking, but Evangeline could hardly hear a word.

Betrayal made her feel sick, but she managed to nod and murmur what she hoped were appropriate words of understanding.

All this time, she’d thought she’d had some semblance of freedom. She’d thought her wishes might be taken into consideration, but that had never been the case.

She’d been a pawn.

Raff hadn’t stolen her. She’d been sold to pay off a debt.

“Who did you expect me to marry if not Mr. Foley?” she asked, pleased by how calm she sounded despite the roiling in her belly.

“Well, your father’s friends were quite keen to make your acquaintance,” her mother said.

Horror had Evangeline’s stomach turning. She vividly recalled those friends. The old, portly men, with the lascivious smiles and the foul breath who’d swarmed around her like flies at the ball.

“I know you had an affection for Mr. Foley, but we felt certain that once he explained that there could be no marriage, you would come around to finding one of your father’s acquaintances...acceptable.”

She swallowed hard. Her mother seemed to think that Albert had explained that he could not marry her.

Her brows came down.

But she dismissed those thoughts because Albert was not nearly as important as her husband.

“Of course,” her mother continued, forced amusement in her tone. “We could not have foreseen that the duke would be so smitten. How very fortunate for us all.”

“How very fortunate,” she murmured in agreement.

How very fortunate that Raff had come along and paid off her father’s debts.

Her stomach pitched and roiled dangerously as memories came back to her.

How he must have laughed on their wedding night when she’d accused him of wanting her dowry. She’d been so sure that he’d wronged her, but…

He hadn’t.

Tears stung the back of her eyes as her mother continued with her explanations and rationalizations.

Raff hadn’t told her the truth about her parents either.

Why? To spare her feelings or out of pity? She wriggled in her seat as unease and fear and anger all warred for supremacy inside her.

She wasn’t sure if she should be angry with Raff or grateful.

Mostly she was angry, though. With him for keeping her in the dark. With her parents for selling her off without a care to her wishes. With Albert for not being open and honest about his situation…and hers.

Coming to her feet, Evangeline felt a new surge of power. She wasn't innocent any longer. She was a duchess. She was a wife.

Maybe one day soon, she’d even be a mother.

“Thank you for the tea,” she said to her mother with a forced smile.

For all his faults, Raff had given her a better life than the one her parents had planned. And much as it stung her pride and hurt her heart, his willingness to give her a modicum of freedom was a gift.

But she didn’t just want freedom. She wanted love. The sort of devotion and understanding that she’d never had before.

And she wanted that with Raff.