Page 39 of The Duke of Fire (The Dukes of Desire #1)

W hat is he doing here?

Her breath caught at the sight of him. He did not look like his usual polished self.

He looked disheveled, like a man who had been running through the streets of London.

Hair uncombed, cravat loose, and coat flung over him like he barely noticed he had put it on.

There were shadows under his eyes, stubble on his jaw, and something raw in his gaze that made her chest tighten painfully. Desperation.

He strode toward the carriage and wrenched its door open. Amelia flinched, her heart lurching.

“I… I thought I should let you go. I told myself it was the noble thing to do,” he said, his voice rough and unsteady. “I told myself that you would have a better life away from me. Away from London. But I was a fool, Amelia.”

“Sebastian…” Her voice was barely above a whisper, but saying his name felt like setting fire to her own restraint.

“I haven’t slept. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t even bring myself to bathe.” He gave a broken laugh. “I told myself I was protecting you. But the truth is—I can’t breathe without you,” he continued, moving closer to her.

Her eyes widened at that. Her lips parted, but nothing came out, even though she had many things to tell him.

“This whole time, I was worried about ruining you, but you have ruined me. Ever since I met you, I can think of nothing but you.”

Then, like something out of a fever dream, he dropped to his knees in the mud. She whimpered at the sight of a duke kneeling before her.

“I am not here to trap you,” he said hoarsely.

“If you still want to leave—if that’s your dream—go.

I will wait for you. For as long as it takes.

I will search the whole world if I have to.

But I had to come now, while I still had the chance.

Because if I let you go without saying this—” His voice broke. “I will never forgive myself.”

“Don’t do this, Sebastian,” Amelia begged, her hands clenched into fists in her lap.

“I love you, Amelia.”

She should not listen to this. This was pure temptation. This was an illusion of the things she had hoped for, dreamed about.

“I love you.” This time, his voice broke.

“I was a coward when I did not answer your question about whether I would marry you if you stayed. I am broken, Amelia. I am afraid to love and lose and be mere splinters on the floor that you can no longer gather. My whole life has been rules and masks and… bargains. But then you came and shattered everything I thought I knew. I can’t go back to the man I was. I don’t want to.”

Tears formed in her eyes, blurring her vision. She wanted to scream. To run. To throw herself into his arms. All at once.

“You can’t just say these things to stop me from leaving,” she said shakily. “Not if it’s pity—”

“This isn’t pity!” he cried. “I would never do that to you. I have come undone because of you. You have made me a man who wants… more. Who wants you. ”

She trembled, tears finally slipping free. Her hands fisted in her skirts, trying to keep herself from falling apart.

“I will marry you wherever you want me to,” he promised fiercely. “I will give you my name if you want to have it. I will give you my whole life. Please, just stay with me, Amelia.”

He was still on the ground, kneeling in the mud. He seemed oblivious to the dirt and discomfort. He held onto the carriage door as if he were afraid the coachman would finally urge the horses to continue their journey.

“I am begging you, Amelia.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Marry me.”

Amelia was torn inside. She had been brought up with walls rising higher and higher around her heart. She had always chosen protection over flights of fancy. Still, Sebastian knew where to shake the foundations.

She loved him.

It would have been easier if she did not, but she loved him, too.

“Do you really mean it?” she asked, her hand aching to hold his face, see how his stubble would feel on her palm.

“I do. With everything I am, and everything I can be, Amelia.”

“Help me down, then, Sebastian,” she said, the little request coming out of trembling lips.

He closed his eyes briefly, as if in relief, before rising to his feet. His knees were soaked, but he did not seem to care. When he extended a hand toward her, she did not hesitate.

“I love you so much, Amelia—to an extent you cannot imagine,” he murmured, pressing his face into her hair like a man anchoring himself to reality.

The act was so intimate that it tore at her heart. She let out a laugh choked with emotion, even as more tears fell.

“What was it they said?” she teased softly. “That love is proven through action? Well then, I hope you are ready to show me.”

He smiled through the tears, something soft and boyish in it that made her heart break all over again.

“I am going to ask you properly now,” he said, straightening and taking both her hands. “Miss Amelia Warton, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” she breathed, not quite believing that she was finally saying this. “Of course, I will marry you, Sebastian.”

He kissed her then, right on that muddy road. She kissed him back, not caring that the coachman was only a few feet away and a carriage could come rattling down the same path at any time. Their kiss tasted like relief. Like longing answered.

Like true love.