Page 34

Brooke

I start the car and head back towards the apartment in silence, not wanting to listen to anything that's going to make me cry more than I already am.

This morning, I had so much hope that my mom and I could fix this, that she would finally become the mother I needed.

She didn't want to, or she didn't want me. I don't know which one hurts more.

Seeing an exit on the highway that I used to take all the time when I lived here.

I pull off, and soon I’m driving through the gates of the cemetery.

It's a large one with mausoleums, but Dad's buried in a sunny spot up the hill, thankfully.

He would hate to be in a mausoleum as much as I would hate visiting one.

Getting out of the jeep and feeling how long it's been since I've visited, months. I've not been since I found out about Josh and the money.

I felt like the lies tarnished my grief somehow, but I'm still a girl who just misses her dad and needs to speak to him, with or without the lying boyfriend and mom.

The path up to Dad's grave is bathed in sunshine, and I find it with a fresh bouquet on it.

Guess Mom is good for something. I stand for a while staring at the gravestone, reading his name over and over, before I finally sit down on the grass.

I have so much to say and nothing at all. So, I just sit.

"I feel so alone, Daddy." I finally let out the sob I've been holding since I got here.

"I miss you so much." Wiping at my tears, I look at his gravestone.

"Why couldn't she just have been there for me?

Why did she have to lie and let me down?

I already lost you." I blow out a breath and wipe my eyes again, picking the prettiest flower out of the bunch and placing it separately in front.

"Why did you have to leave?" I whisper as I sit back.

I'm not sure how much time has passed since I arrived, but I hear footsteps on the path behind me. I turn my head and find Cami, Bear, Gunnar, Adam, and Grant standing there, all looking at me with sad smiles.

Pressing my lips together as I look up at them, feeling another wave of emotion hit me, and I get teary again.

"I thought you might have come here when we didn't find you at the apartment; we didn't want you to be alone." Cami comes and sits down, hugging me. Grant sits to my left, and the guys sit behind us.

"I didn't know where else to go." I sob, putting my head on Cami's shoulder as she nods understanding. "She had thrown this big party, and she didn't want to talk to me. She just wanted to parade me about and lie to everyone." I sniffle, and they just sit with me as I cry.

"I miss him." I sob, wiping away my tears with the backs of my hands. "Especially now that I don't have anywhere left to go."

"You've always got somewhere to go," Grant whispers, taking my hand and squeezing it softly. "You'll come to Cami's family's for Thanksgiving, Bear's for Christmas, Adam's for New Year's, mine for Easter, and Gunnar's for the Fourth of July."

"We've got you covered." Gunnar squeezes my other shoulder. "You don't have to be alone,"

"Never B, you're our family." Cami strokes my hair as I silently cry.

"Why doesn't she care about me?" I cry, unable to catch my breath. "I thought she might apologise or admit she was wrong, but she still thinks what she did was best."

Cami hugs me harder, and I feel the boys stand up and let us sit with my dad for a while.

"We can stay as long as you need, but have you eaten yet?" Cami whispers into my ear, and that's when I remember it's Thanksgiving.

"Oh my God, guys, go enjoy the rest of the day." I wipe my nose, moving to stand up. "You didn't have to come and sit with me; I'm just going to head back to the apartment."

"Uh, no way," Cami scoffs. "Mom has already added a place for you; we came to make sure you joined us."

"No, I can't just show up," I say as she loops her arm with mine and pulls me towards the path down to the car park.

"Shh, you were supposed to come, anyway; you know she overcooks on a normal day." She brushes me off, and I smile tearily.

We get to the cars, and I notice Adam's car wheels have grass wedged all around them and mud all over the bumper. I look towards him.

"I may have mounted the grass in the rush to the apartment." He scratches his neck awkwardly.

I burst out laughing, giving him a side hug as he chuckles.

"If Grant hadn't already been halfway up the stairs as soon as the car stopped, I think he would have gone to town on him." Bear nudges me, smiling, and I smile back, hugging him before moving to Gunnar and giving him one; he picks me up, and I laugh.

"Thank you for coming," I say as he puts me down. I feel a rush of guilt. "I'm sorry if Sasha and your parents are upset."

"My mom and dad get it, and Sasha will just have to understand." He shrugs, moving towards his car with Bear following him. "We will see you guys when you get back."

They wave as Cami and Adam get into Adam's car, and Grant pushes me towards the Jeep.

"I'll ride with you," Grant says, moving toward the passenger door.

"I mean, it's your car; you can drive." I shrug, walking around him and pushing him towards the driver's door.

“Ask me nicely?” he teases, and I scoff

“Never”

“That's my girl”, he chuckles as we get in the car, and I don't correct him because it makes me feel warm and wanted by someone.

I need that more than ever today.